Need some advice
I’m in my first year at Uni and am coming to near the end of the year now. I stay in halls, despite my home being 20 mins away. Even though i’ve made friends and like my course I’m worried i’ve missed out on pushing myself to become more independent, as it’s not something I thought about before choosing my Uni and in the back of my head I didn’t want to move far from my boyfriend, I only realised that I should of gone somewhere further away after starting the degree. I do have a house booked for next year and would rather not go through the stress of dropping out and restarting elsewhere. Plus I do like the city Im in, but I do question if I’ve missed out by not going more out of my comfort zone. I was thinking a way to combat this is to do a year abroad when I’ve graduate to really grow as a person, instead of restarting my degree. I’m also planning to do my postgraduate apprenticeship in a new place (i’ll get a flat with my bf.) Is anyone in a similar situation or have any advice? It’s a tricky situation because I don’t want to restrict myself but I feel like it might be a waste to drop out at this point based on not going far enough out of my comfort zone.
Don’t drop out just because you don’t think you’ve been pushed outside your comfort zone enough.
At the end of the day - you’re still living on your own. My parents both still live within 20 minutes of their own, and have never left their hometown, but they’ve both done alright for themselves. Yes, it’s good to have some independence, but there’s no need to move to the other side of the world or anything just so your parents can’t help you.
Personally I decided to just stay at home during uni and commute, and I’m now finishing my 4th year. I was worried initially I’d made the wrong decision, but I now don’t regret it even slightly.
I’ve had all the same opportunities to make friends besides of course flatmates, but to be honest the vast majority of my friends are barely even in touch with their first year flatmates at this point, so that’s irrelevant really. Plus with covid half my friends went back home over most of my first and my entire second year anyway, so with that factored in, I’m 100% confident I made the right call for me. Of course - everyone is different though.
At the end of the day, whether you move away for uni, or when you’re 30, or even never at all, is entirely up to you - there’s nothing really to be gained in having ‘full independence’ at 18 rather than say 21, and so I really wouldn’t worry about it. It’s certainly not a reason to drop out, in my opinion.
At the end of the day - you’re still living on your own. My parents both still live within 20 minutes of their own, and have never left their hometown, but they’ve both done alright for themselves. Yes, it’s good to have some independence, but there’s no need to move to the other side of the world or anything just so your parents can’t help you.
Personally I decided to just stay at home during uni and commute, and I’m now finishing my 4th year. I was worried initially I’d made the wrong decision, but I now don’t regret it even slightly.
I’ve had all the same opportunities to make friends besides of course flatmates, but to be honest the vast majority of my friends are barely even in touch with their first year flatmates at this point, so that’s irrelevant really. Plus with covid half my friends went back home over most of my first and my entire second year anyway, so with that factored in, I’m 100% confident I made the right call for me. Of course - everyone is different though.
At the end of the day, whether you move away for uni, or when you’re 30, or even never at all, is entirely up to you - there’s nothing really to be gained in having ‘full independence’ at 18 rather than say 21, and so I really wouldn’t worry about it. It’s certainly not a reason to drop out, in my opinion.
Original post by scorpioeve
I’m in my first year at Uni and am coming to near the end of the year now. I stay in halls, despite my home being 20 mins away. Even though i’ve made friends and like my course I’m worried i’ve missed out on pushing myself to become more independent, as it’s not something I thought about before choosing my Uni and in the back of my head I didn’t want to move far from my boyfriend, I only realised that I should of gone somewhere further away after starting the degree. I do have a house booked for next year and would rather not go through the stress of dropping out and restarting elsewhere. Plus I do like the city Im in, but I do question if I’ve missed out by not going more out of my comfort zone. I was thinking a way to combat this is to do a year abroad when I’ve graduate to really grow as a person, instead of restarting my degree. I’m also planning to do my postgraduate apprenticeship in a new place (i’ll get a flat with my bf.) Is anyone in a similar situation or have any advice? It’s a tricky situation because I don’t want to restrict myself but I feel like it might be a waste to drop out at this point based on not going far enough out of my comfort zone.
Hey @scorpioeve
I think from the sounds of it you are already being independent, and learning to be independent isn't exclusive to moving far away from home. Balancing your time, paying rent, shopping, washing, and cleaning for yourself, and making new friends will all have helped improve your independence regardless of if you live nearby. If you want to do a study abroad year or a postgraduate qualification, then that would be a great opportunity to push yourself even more but don't feel like you have to just to prove a point to yourself. No one is awarding medals for people that went furthest out of their comfort zone at university!
Good luck with second year!
Rebecca (Lancaster Student Ambassador)
Original post by scorpioeve
I’m in my first year at Uni and am coming to near the end of the year now. I stay in halls, despite my home being 20 mins away. Even though i’ve made friends and like my course I’m worried i’ve missed out on pushing myself to become more independent, as it’s not something I thought about before choosing my Uni and in the back of my head I didn’t want to move far from my boyfriend, I only realised that I should of gone somewhere further away after starting the degree. I do have a house booked for next year and would rather not go through the stress of dropping out and restarting elsewhere. Plus I do like the city Im in, but I do question if I’ve missed out by not going more out of my comfort zone. I was thinking a way to combat this is to do a year abroad when I’ve graduate to really grow as a person, instead of restarting my degree. I’m also planning to do my postgraduate apprenticeship in a new place (i’ll get a flat with my bf.) Is anyone in a similar situation or have any advice? It’s a tricky situation because I don’t want to restrict myself but I feel like it might be a waste to drop out at this point based on not going far enough out of my comfort zone.
Hi there,
I would say you are already independent as you are living on your own, irrespective of your geographical distance from home.
With regards to a year abroad, it is a very good idea. You could do it as a sandwich year between your 2nd and 3rd year. Coventry University offers funding for a wide variety of opportunities abroad, from studying at a partner university, volunteering, short courses, to internships. It is worth checking with your university what opportunities and funding options are available for going abroad.
Kind regards,
Juzer
Coventry University Student Ambassador
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