Polyamorous with a very popular guy in school, and I am not sure how I feel

I am 18, and I have been in a polyamory relationship with a man at my school for some time now, and he is an extremely attractive guy who girls are always crushing on all the time.
I have always known that he is the kind of guy who has a lot of casual hook-ups with girls, so I knew what I was getting into when I approached him, but I am starting to feel that I might want to try to date him on a more personal level.
The thing is, I am hugely attracted to him on a physical level as well, so I always take my opportunities with him when it comes to that;
however, I am starting to feel more and more like just one in the bunch of all his admirers, especially when it has come to "group activities" when he is having his way with one girl at a time - I always felt a bit forgotten in those situations, and I am not sure if I enjoy it anymore.
I have been thinking of telling him how I feel, but I am not sure at all if he is the type who is even interested in a monogamous relationship.

(edited 10 months ago)

Reply 1

Doomotron

18

I can't tell if this is a spam thread or not but I'll answer it as if it isn't. You can certainly try to become exclusive with him, but based on how you describe him I doubt he'd be interested unless there was something really going for you or he was more attracted to you than anyone else in his posse. You'll both need to be on the same page - in a casual relationship such as this, there is little reason for him to give it all up on a whim for one person. It rather defeats the point of it.

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

He's a lucky boy. He's living the life that other guys can only dream of

Reply 3

Katerina S.

10

Assuming this thread isn't bs, why on earth would he settle for one girl when he can have as many as he likes?

There are certainly popular guys around who get girl after girl (not necessarily dating at the same time) and they get so many girls rocking up they can't decide on any one of them. So apart from addiction to the fun of it all they struggle to get into a long term relationship with just one girl.

The problem with the situation becoming so lop sided to the popular crowd.

Reply 4

LexieJJ

OP

2

Original post by Katerina S.

Assuming this thread isn't bs, why on earth would he settle for one girl when he can have as many as he likes?

There are certainly popular guys around who get girl after girl (not necessarily dating at the same time) and they get so many girls rocking up they can't decide on any one of them. So apart from addiction to the fun of it all they struggle to get into a long term relationship with just one girl.

The problem with the situation becoming so lop sided to the popular crowd.

I was thinking that he might want to feel something more intimate and romantic with some specific girls, rather than simply the sex parts.

(edited 10 months ago)

Reply 5

Anonymous #2

Personally, this sounds like a relationship between someone who is strictly monogamous and someone who is polyamorous, which can work in some circumstances with lots of communication; but more commonly does not, and it comes down to you both loving in different ways. And the fact he isn’t communicating with you, and he does not make you feel comfortable to communicate your feelings to him.

Even if you like the guy, it’s not worth changing yourself and how you love for him — especially when it sounds like you have been feeling upset over this for quite some time and he hasn’t checked in on your boundaries, knowing the way you love isn’t the same as his. That’s important in these relationships. You wouldn’t change your sexuality for someone, so why change an aspect of your romantic orientation?

Reply 6

Anonymous #3

Sis he ain't worth your time

Polyamorous with a very popular guy in school, and I am not sure how I feel

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