How can I approach this hugely attractive and popular guy at my school?

I have had a crush on a guy in my college class ever since he started here about one month ago (I am 19, and he is 20), and the problem is that he is so attractive that practically all girls who interact with him end up showing signs of strong interest (like blushing, stuttering, giving him compliments etc), or at the very least treat him really kindly.
This is something that I see him experience to some degree every time I notice him, and he always has girls who try to do group work with him, or just sit next to him and have a chat with him, and some of them have also invited him to their weekend parties, and some girls have approached him alone and asked him if he wants to meet and do something with them.
I am not sure what he has responded to that - I have only seen him look flattered by it, and say that it might be fun or that he will think about it, but that is all that I have heard.
I feel like it would be very hard to stand out from all those other girls;
I know that I am considered cute and pretty and all that, but those other girls are really pretty as well, and come off as charming and everything, so I feel like everything that I view in myself as good traits are things that he has already seen in those other girls over and over.
Do you know what I can do here?

(edited 6 months ago)

Reply 1

Surnia

20

Approach him carefully, armed with a big stick to beat off the opposition!

Seriously, approach him as a friend and just talk to him normally, maybe about something from class to start with. If you know about a party you could drop it into the conversation, eg "I hear x is having some people over, and you going?" just to judge his reaction. But keep it cool until you get to know him; you never know, he might be incredibly dull and boring and it shatters your illusions!

Reply 2

*Katya*

OP

3

Original post by Surnia

Approach him carefully, armed with a big stick to beat off the opposition!

Seriously, approach him as a friend and just talk to him normally, maybe about something from class to start with. If you know about a party you could drop it into the conversation, eg "I hear x is having some people over, and you going?" just to judge his reaction. But keep it cool until you get to know him; you never know, he might be incredibly dull and boring and it shatters your illusions!

Thanks, I will try next time I see him.
It is just a bit discouraging to always see him with all types of different pretty and charming girls, since it makes me feel really unnoticed, but I will give it a try. ^-^

I have sort of tried to judge his reactions from when other girls have flirted with him, and he has seemed to respond positively to when girls have complimented his hair or his eyes, whereas he has seeemd to be just a little bit uncomfortable when girls who have sat next to him have touched his arms or his shoulders, so I guess he felt that those girls were too forward.
But he is most likely very used to getting compliments as well, so I guess I should try something that I don't always see from the other girls.

He does seem to have a sweet personality, since he always appears humble and modest, so that seems like a good sign.

(edited 6 months ago)

Reply 3

Zarek

21

Get your best kit on, do some flirting, see how it goes

Reply 4

Zarek

21

Original post by *Katya*

Yeah, I will definitely try to look as pretty as possible.
I will however of course want to stay classy as well;
he has caught me giving him seductive looks on a few occasions, where I have ended up standing and gazing at him while twirling my hair around my fingers and biting my lower lip, and this is something that I have done without realising it, and I have felt a bit ashamed of it when he has seemed to notice it, so hopefully this hasn't made him uncomfortable.

Good luck. Try to have a bit of fun and not take it too seriously. These competitive situations are a challenge but who knows

Reply 5

*Katya*

OP

3

Original post by Zarek

Good luck. Try to have a bit of fun and not take it too seriously. These competitive situations are a challenge but who knows

Yup, the discouraging bit here is that I feel that he doesn't have any reason to become interested in me unless I make sure to approach him, since there are so many other girls with all kinds of qualities who flirt with him and appear to crush on him, so he already has all the admirers he could ever want.
But I will try to have some small talks with him, and see if he responds well to it.

(edited 6 months ago)

Reply 6

Mary02

2

Maybe have a small talk with him about school stuff, and then ask if he would like to take a walk with you in some romantic part of the campus, like a park or something like that?

Reply 7

*Katya*

OP

3

Original post by Mary02

Maybe have a small talk with him about school stuff, and then ask if he would like to take a walk with you in some romantic part of the campus, like a park or something like that?

Thanks, I will see if I get that opportunity next week.
It will probably be quite difficult to find an opportunity when he is by himself, since he is highly popular among a lot of girls everywhere, but I will see what happens.

good luck.

Have you spoken to him yet?

Reply 10

*Katya*

OP

3

Original post by Doomotron

Have you spoken to him yet?

Yes, and it seems to be going great so far. ^-^
I have done group work alone with him several times, and we have chosen each other as group mates spontaneously and had small talks together before and after school a few times, and last week when we sat and worked together he would sometimes put his arm around my shoulders a bit, or on my waist, when he wanted to draw my attention to something.
We have also caught each other gazing into each other's eyes for a long time, and smiling to each other spontaneously.
I have asked him if he wants to meet some time during the weekend at some point, and he has said that he might be able to do that this weekend.
I am super-nervous at the moment - I am terrified of making a bad impression in any way at all when we meet - but I am also looking forward to it a lot!

(edited 4 months ago)

Reply 11

Doomotron

18

Original post by *Katya*

Yes, and it seems to be going great so far. ^-^
I have done group work alone with him several times, and we have chosen each other as group mates spontaneously and had small talks together before and after school a few times, and last week when we sat and worked together he would sometimes put his arm around my shoulders a bit, or on my waist, when he wanted to draw my attention to something.
We have also caught each other gazing into each other's eyes for a long time, and smiling to each other spontaneously.
I have asked him if he wants to meet some time during the weekend at some point, and he has said that he might be able to do that this next weekend.
I am super-nervous at the moment, but I am looking forward to it _a lot!_

That's great, I'm glad it worked out for you.

Reply 12

*Katya*

OP

3

Original post by Doomotron

That's great, I'm glad it worked out for you.

Thaanks, I feel that I have started to really like him a lot, so there is that as well. ^-^

I will try to be as relaxed as possible during our meeting if we do meet this weekend;
I guess maybe I should just have a regular conversation with him, and let everything else happen by itself.

Reply 13

Doomotron

18

Original post by *Katya*

Thaanks, I feel that I have started to really like him a lot, so there is that as well. ^-^

I will try to be as relaxed as possible during our meeting if we do meet this weekend;
I guess maybe I should just have a regular conversation with him, and let everything else happen by itself.

Yes, definitely have a normal conversation. Don't try to go to quickly, just let it flow naturally and all will be okay.

Reply 14

*Katya*

OP

3

Original post by Doomotron

Yes, definitely have a normal conversation. Don't try to go to quickly, just let it flow naturally and all will be okay.

Yeah, I have heard from a few of his friends that he has a great reputation among people, and he is apparently seen as a great guy by everyone who knows him, so I feel that I can be alone with him without any problem.