the reasoning behind all of his anger might be a little inappropriate and a little personal for this forum, but i was reading into a lot of things recently and the words he uses against me are just hurtful and i don’t think anyone should have to go through it no matter what they’ve done.
anyways, to start this off, when me and my boyfriend met around seven months ago, we basically became best friends in an instant. i could trust him with a lot and honestly i trusted him with almost everything. when we got together a month after i didn’t expect us to last super long, now i know we haven’t been together for a while, but a month ago now, the incident happened. (which is a bit too personal for me to share, but i’ll do my best at making me seem in the wrong because i was.) whenever he got mad at me i always felt alone, we would always argue which i knew wasn’t healthy, but he wouldn’t let me leave, so i just honestly tried to fix things and move on and try to better both of us (mind you this is before the incident.) so after the incident of course things got way worse, which i understand. i know it’s hard to build trust up again and patience, but recently it’s been really really bad. so recently we’ve been sending a couple things back and forth to get our mind off of it, but now that’s all it feels like he wants, whenever we talk like normal it always ends up being an argument, now i’ve tried telling him to leave or find someone better, but he keeps resorting to killing himself? i mean i’ve been in the situation of someone threatening to end their lives because of me, but i’d never thought it’d be this bad. i want the best for him, i really do. i suggested he had just moved on and found someone new, but i don’t understand why he would wanna stay with me. moving on to the part of him calling me names, he’s called me a h03, a sk4nk, anything along those lines you name it. he just told me to kms today, and he’s said i was dead to him before. i guess i’ve been too attached and i’ve still been trying, i’ve been doing my best to comfort him and help him, but he won’t take it in? all i’m trying to do is help myself and him move on, he says he’s sorry and he just says those mean names when he’s mad, but he keeps doing it, i don’t think he’s really sorry. i’ve gone into so much to prove that i’m sorry for what happened. i’ve lost countless hours of sleep, we’re 16 time zone difference right now because he’s on a family vacation, but it’s just hard as well. i’ve been reading everything on how to be better, and trying my hardest to help him be happy but all i get is attitude back, i don’t know what to do because i just want the best for him, but i don’t really want to leave him. but i should.
anyways, i don’t know what i expected out of this, i guess i just wanted someone to read it and write their opinions on it because i’m completely lost. (also sorry if i made any typos, he’s currently texting me how bad of a person i am and i’m multitasking in the moment.)