Dealing with post break up depression

I'm really struggling with my break up. I feel awful so awful about myself. All my friends are happy in their relationships so are too busy to do anything. I literally have no one to do anything with now, when I'd usually be spending all my time with my ex. If I wasn't with him I'd be texting him, now I have nothing. I know that's not very healthy.

What makes it worse is he seems totally fine. I saw him the other day and he was smiling away whereas I feel like absolute ****.

Has circumstances now made you realise that maybe talking to him about it may rekindle your relationship possibly?

I want nothing more than to message him and see if we could rekindle. But I don't think he'd want the same. As he needed some 'time to himself'. If I messaged him I genuinely think it would make me feel ten times worse, I don't know if it's possible to feel much worse though currently. I thought I would've heard from him by now but absolutely nothing for a few weeks.

Go for it, talk to him about it if you feel the relationship can be rekindled I would talk say exactly what you said on the thread say that ever since the breakup his presence and absence has significantly impacted you since whilst it was nice to see him happy you didn’t feel the same because you felt the state you are currently now maybe it may make you feel better if you two both talk and you let your feelings known rather than keep it inside because you’ll just be hurt.

The last time we spoke I suggested meeting up to talk about things and he shot it down because he said it would confuse us both more, which I do agree with. I'm so heartbroken, but if nothing's changed on his part then speaking to him is only gonna break my heart even more.

Then I don’t think it’s wise circumstances must be serious over how you split up.

Not necessarily, neither of us did anything wrong. We both genuinely really like each other. I just think the timing was off for him unfortunately. Don't really know what else I can do about it other than give him his space as much as that pains me. I was hopeful that we would get back together but the more time goes on, the less hope I have of that happening.

Perhaps give some time to heal in the right mindset then talk. Gather your thoughts and feelings together.

How long would you say is a good amount of time? I don't want to leave it too long in case he moves onto the next. But I guess if he does then I have my answer don't I.

I would say a couple of weeks use a few weeks to reflect, reflect what it is that led to you both having to part ways, what your feelings and thoughts are towards being reunited and how you want to express those feelings across to him and the moment you feel right reach out to him. 2-3 weeks. Well you’ll clearly know if he loves you there’s no reason to why he wouldn’t come back…

It's been a month since things ended, and almost 3 weeks since we last spoke. Do you think I need to wait a few more weeks?

Well your not in the right frame of mind set to talk so yes I’d suggest just wait a week and half or two and when your ready go for it.

What would I even say to him? I feel like I'm still gonna be in this same mindset in a few weeks though.

I'm really struggling with my break up. I feel awful so awful about myself. All my friends are happy in their relationships so are too busy to do anything. I literally have no one to do anything with now, when I'd usually be spending all my time with my ex. If I wasn't with him I'd be texting him, now I have nothing. I know that's not very healthy.

What makes it worse is he seems totally fine. I saw him the other day and he was smiling away whereas I feel like absolute ****.

If that’s the case then maybe you are going to need time to heal and with time things may get better. I would say something like ever since you two both have split it’s impacted emotionally, and you believe you can rekindle the relationship and it’s worth for you both to try again express to him what it is you want, why you want it, how your feeling and how you’d go about it hence gather your thoughts, think about it before approaching him…

I'm really sorry to hear that you're going through such a tough time after your break up. It's completely normal to feel awful and experience a range of emotions during this period. Remember that healing takes time, and it's important to be patient with yourself. While it may seem like everyone else is happy in their relationships, it's important to focus on your own healing journey rather than comparing yourself to others.

It's understandable that seeing your ex seemingly fine can be difficult and make you feel worse. However, it's important to remember that people handle break ups differently, and appearances can be deceiving. Everyone processes their emotions in their own way, and just because your ex appears happy doesn't necessarily mean they are unaffected.

During this time, it can be helpful to reach out to supportive friends or family members who can provide a listening ear or engage in activities together. If you don't feel comfortable discussing your feelings with them, consider seeking support from a therapist or counsellor who can offer guidance and help you navigate through this challenging period. Remember to practice self-care, engage in activities that bring you joy, and be gentle with yourself as you heal and move forward.