How to get someone back?

Anonymous #1

How do you get someone back when neither of you wanted the relationship to end but they've gone cold?

Reply 1

Teresa09

10

Talk to them - to give better advice I’m going to need to know what happened. ☺️

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Teresa09

Talk to them - to give better advice I’m going to need to know what happened. ☺️

I'd love to, but he wanted some space so I have to honour that. Said he needed to fully take himself out of the situation to decide what he wanted, whether he wants to be in a relationship with me or not. For the first few weeks he kept messaging me, but now I've not heard from him. Heartbroken is an understatement. Everything was going so well, it was a massive shock. Think he even shocked himself, even his friends said he made a rash decision. But he seems to be sticking to this decision.

Reply 3

A jaded girl

7

Original post by Anonymous

I'd love to, but he wanted some space so I have to honour that. Said he needed to fully take himself out of the situation to decide what he wanted, whether he wants to be in a relationship with me or not. For the first few weeks he kept messaging me, but now I've not heard from him. Heartbroken is an understatement. Everything was going so well, it was a massive shock. Think he even shocked himself, even his friends said he made a rash decision. But he seems to be sticking to this decision.

You don't you find someone who actually wants you

Reply 4

Zarek

21

If they’ve gone cold it’s likely they did want it to end unfortunately

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by A jaded girl

You don't you find someone who actually wants you

But he did want me. He said he was scared that he caught feelings too quickly. He was the one initiating spending all our time together, he was the one that introduced me to all his friends and family and made me get attached to them.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Zarek

If they’ve gone cold it’s likely they did want it to end unfortunately

Tbf, he replied to my last message. Could have easily just ignored it, or am I looking too deep into things?

Reply 7

Zarek

21

Original post by Anonymous

Tbf, he replied to my last message. Could have easily just ignored it, or am I looking too deep into things?

Hard to say, in my experience though once off treatment starts it’s much better for your self esteem to move on and let them come back to you if they start missing you

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Zarek

Hard to say, in my experience though once off treatment starts it’s much better for your self esteem to move on and let them come back to you if they start missing you

I really want him to come back to me, I want to move on but I don't. I'm fighting the urge to text him every single day.

Reply 9

A jaded girl

7

Original post by Anonymous

But he did want me. He said he was scared that he caught feelings too quickly. He was the one initiating spending all our time together, he was the one that introduced me to all his friends and family and made me get attached to them.

Not anymore by the sounds of it, has probably found another woman

Reply 10

Surnia

20

Original post by Anonymous

How do you get someone back when neither of you wanted the relationship to end but they've gone cold?

Original post by Anonymous

Said he needed to fully take himself out of the situation to decide what he wanted, whether he wants to be in a relationship with me or not.

If he didn't want the relationship to end, why does he need to make any kind of decision about whether to stay with you or not? If he loved you, you'd still be together. Why did you even agree to this? Has he given you a timescale as to when he'll tell.you what he wants?

If I were you, I'd call his bluff; call.him and tell him he's had long enough to decide, he's messing you around by not giving you an answer on what he wants and you're ending it. If he reacts badly, vaguely or not at all, there's your answer and move on.