Why do so many girls have a boyfriend? Am I really unlucky?

I am really upset now. For the past 2 days I have been chatting with another girl(lets call her M). Even though I asked out my childhood friend (lets call her A) who is 21 now turning 22 soon and also have been chatting with this 19 year old girl(lets call her B) for a month who is single, I wanted to keep M as an option too. I am 22 in last year of college and M is also 19 turning 20 next month. Me and M had been having a good chat for the past 2 days and I had been having a great chat with B too and we were in the same school and so was M but we are all in different colleges. A haven't been online for a month so no reply yet regarding when we can meet up. But today while chatting with M, I asked her whats up and then she replied that she is doing math and chatting with her boyfriend*. It hit me hard and I felt terrible as I am 22 and never had a gf before. I told her we can't chat anymore as I am looking for a girlfriend and only prefer chatting with girls who are single. But she said me not to feel sad and she is sure I will find a gf soon. Then her boyfriend literally messaged me too. I thought he was angry but he is nice and said me to not feel sad too and wished me luck and said one day I will get a nice girl too. But I am still feeling terrible but not as bad as we only have been chatting with for 2 days. I would probably end up crying if either my childhood friend A or this other girl B too gets a boyfriend. Why only me? Does it mean its already late that i am still single at 22? How come so many girls have a bf already? I feel life is so unfair.

Reply 1

Old Skool Freak

20

**it happens bruv...

... and look around this forum; you definitely ain't the only one :lol:

Reply 2

A jaded girl

7

Original post by Anonymous

I am really upset now. For the past 2 days I have been chatting with another girl(lets call her M). Even though I asked out my childhood friend (lets call her A) who is 21 now turning 22 soon and also have been chatting with this 19 year old girl(lets call her B) for a month who is single, I wanted to keep M as an option too. I am 22 in last year of college and M is also 19 turning 20 next month. Me and M had been having a good chat for the past 2 days and I had been having a great chat with B too and we were in the same school and so was M but we are all in different colleges. A haven't been online for a month so no reply yet regarding when we can meet up. But today while chatting with M, I asked her whats up and then she replied that she is doing math and chatting with her boyfriend*. It hit me hard and I felt terrible as I am 22 and never had a gf before. I told her we can't chat anymore as I am looking for a girlfriend and only prefer chatting with girls who are single. But she said me not to feel sad and she is sure I will find a gf soon. Then her boyfriend literally messaged me too. I thought he was angry but he is nice and said me to not feel sad too and wished me luck and said one day I will get a nice girl too. But I am still feeling terrible but not as bad as we only have been chatting with for 2 days. I would probably end up crying if either my childhood friend A or this other girl B too gets a boyfriend. Why only me? Does it mean its already late that i am still single at 22? How come so many girls have a bf already? I feel life is so unfair.

Perhaps girls see you as desperate and too nice

Reply 3

Old Skool Freak

20

Original post by Anonymous

I am really upset now. For the past 2 days I have been chatting with another girl(lets call her M). Even though I asked out my childhood friend (lets call her A) who is 21 now turning 22 soon and also have been chatting with this 19 year old girl(lets call her B) for a month who is single, I wanted to keep M as an option too. I am 22 in last year of college and M is also 19 turning 20 next month. Me and M had been having a good chat for the past 2 days and I had been having a great chat with B too and we were in the same school and so was M but we are all in different colleges. A haven't been online for a month so no reply yet regarding when we can meet up. But today while chatting with M, I asked her whats up and then she replied that she is doing math and chatting with her boyfriend*. It hit me hard and I felt terrible as I am 22 and never had a gf before. I told her we can't chat anymore as I am looking for a girlfriend and only prefer chatting with girls who are single. But she said me not to feel sad and she is sure I will find a gf soon. Then her boyfriend literally messaged me too. I thought he was angry but he is nice and said me to not feel sad too and wished me luck and said one day I will get a nice girl too. But I am still feeling terrible but not as bad as we only have been chatting with for 2 days. I would probably end up crying if either my childhood friend A or this other girl B too gets a boyfriend. Why only me? Does it mean its already late that i am still single at 22? How come so many girls have a bf already? I feel life is so unfair.

OK, I'll give you a more helpful post now...

Firstly ignore the tosh written above by anon2 (the fact that he's assumed girls who are not white are unattractive says all I need to know, really)... although I agree about broadening your horizons. One thing life has taught me is that if you broaden your horizons, you'll find you're compatible with A LOT more people than just your "type". Chat to whoever you're attracted to and you can vibe with.

The second thing I'll say is (and I mean this in the nicest possible way), you really need to get a grip. Rejections are part of life, and they happen to all of us from time to time (It's publicly happened to David Hasselhoff and George Clooney ffs). Really... it two people blow you out (for whatever reason) it's not the end of the world. There are another 35+ million girls and women in this country alone... surely one of them will say yes if you approach them?

I'd suggest you chat to a few girls, rather than concentrating on 1-2... Don't become too attached to any until it looks like it's going somewhere (N.B. if you're talking to several, you're less likely to become attached anyway). To save your pride and feelings, it's best not to think further than your next meet or comms with them ... until you've definitely got a connection with one. Once it's clear it's on with one person, then make your excuses with the others.

Furthermore, I would suggest you don't be so short-sighted and stay in contact with "M"... She clearly values your friendship and you as a person. You've got to be smart in this game (think with your head and not your heart (or trousers lol)). You never know, "M" might feel bad that you're single and alone, so she may try setting you up with one of her friends she thinks you may get along with. On the other hand, her BF seems like a good guy, he may even invite you out on a "lads night out" so you meet others, or even be a temporary wingman to help you get talking to other girls on a night out.

Personally, if I'm approaching a girl, I tend to approach without any expectations... I approach with the mindset "she looks interesting, let's find out her story". I make my approach and then see where that takes us. For instance, in, say, a pub / club environment, she may be my next girlfriend / squeeze; she may be someone to dance with for a bit; we may have a bit of a laugh / banter; I may be an agony aunt / shoulder to cry on; she may not be interested in talking to me at all (for whatever reason). If you don't have expectations, then you won't be disappointed if it doesn't work out. I think this also makes me more natural, and less like a desperate / horny man.

The final thing I'll suggest for now is that you consider doing some exercise; either sports, at the gym or just a morning / evening run or bike ride. I'll outline some of the benefits:-

1) You'll almost certainly start looking better. This isn't necessarily about getting muscly, 6 packs or big guns, but just looking a bit smarter and more trim. It may take some time for you to see the changes, but other will notice them quite quickly (after a couple of weeks even). I'm not saying it'll work miracles... but you will become a better version of "you"

2) You'll be much happier with yourself after a workout. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins and dopamine (basically feel-good hormones). After a stressful day at work, i can hit the gym and I'm always happy and chilled afterwards (plus I get a good nights sleep as a bonus :wink:

).

3) Of course there are all the health benefits as well.

Spoiler

(edited 9 months ago)

Reply 4

MTxxMT

1

Original post by Anonymous

I am really upset now. For the past 2 days I have been chatting with another girl(lets call her M). Even though I asked out my childhood friend (lets call her A) who is 21 now turning 22 soon and also have been chatting with this 19 year old girl(lets call her B) for a month who is single, I wanted to keep M as an option too. I am 22 in last year of college and M is also 19 turning 20 next month. Me and M had been having a good chat for the past 2 days and I had been having a great chat with B too and we were in the same school and so was M but we are all in different colleges. A haven't been online for a month so no reply yet regarding when we can meet up. But today while chatting with M, I asked her whats up and then she replied that she is doing math and chatting with her boyfriend*. It hit me hard and I felt terrible as I am 22 and never had a gf before. I told her we can't chat anymore as I am looking for a girlfriend and only prefer chatting with girls who are single. But she said me not to feel sad and she is sure I will find a gf soon. Then her boyfriend literally messaged me too. I thought he was angry but he is nice and said me to not feel sad too and wished me luck and said one day I will get a nice girl too. But I am still feeling terrible but not as bad as we only have been chatting with for 2 days. I would probably end up crying if either my childhood friend A or this other girl B too gets a boyfriend. Why only me? Does it mean its already late that i am still single at 22? How come so many girls have a bf already? I feel life is so unfair.

I m sure that he reply really did hurt u in many ways. The pain means u really did like her. The pain will fade; it will fade faster if u prevent it from happening again. U already are anxious about losing your other 2 possibly gfs. That is really from where much of your pain is coming - FOMO. U need to take the big leap and go from chatting to physically meeting with you 2 other gfs. U actually should just pick the one you like the most and who if u had to choose only one whom you could chat with that you would keep. The last thing you want is to date both girls and then find out that u r dating both. You could lose them both. Chat with the one and ask her to meet you for a meal. If u don't have money then just ask her to a day in the park or beach or pool. Tell her how much you enjoy chatting with her and how good it makes you feel when she sends you messages. When you are with her hold her hand, smile at her, tell her that she looks very pretty in her outfit or tell her that she has a captivating smile that makes your day better, or that her eyes sparkle in a pretty way. You will know during or near end of date if she wants to be kissed. She will either kiss you, or there will be an awkward pause when better if you know what to say and you both feel a bit shy in the moment. Look at her face and you will know. Slowly approach her and if she comes toward you she is wanting to be kissed. If unsure then simply quietly say " I'd love to kiss you bc your lips look so soft." Once the kids happens the two of you will be able to become more intimate as you continue to see one another. And the answer to your question as to whether you are too late to the dating game? No u r not too late. It is never to late. Stop thinking that something is wrong with you. Not everyone starts dating when they are 15 and having sex by the time they are 16. So comparing yourself to others. You sounds like a very nice and thoughtful person who just is a bit shy to ask the girls whom you chat with to actually physically meet. Stop chatting and spend more time with people but guys and girls so that you have real friends not chat buddies. Social media has ruined at least 1 generation and perhaps a good portion of a second older generation.

Reply 5

H8Courtship217

10

how long has the OP been single now?

Why do so many girls have a boyfriend? Am I really unlucky?

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