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Urgent help please post 18

Hi all, just finished sixth form a month ago and have turned 18 this week. I’m being told I need to get a full time job straightaway by my parents and that I need to leave my current 14 hour a week job which I really like. I had an awful sixth form experience rife with anxiety so very low attendance and really don’t feel ready for a full time job with a new place, interviews, new people etc, and don’t particularly know what I want to do. I don’t hav many friends but don’t know a single person my age going into full time employment and they hardly meet up with me and o want to make the most of this time before I get a job as you’ll have limited time off until you retire. I don’t know if I ever will but I don’t feel ready for a proper job. Chances of me going to uni are slim as I can’t afford to live away and that only leaves me with one uni option to speak to on clearing. I don’t know if it sounds silly but I feel like my family is rushing my time away into a job and it’s causing daily arguments and I honestly feel hard done by compared to everyone else I know. I had plnnned on working with my mum as I’ve also done this before and loved the job (not one I could do on my own as would need own home) but she’s since decided I need to get a job somewhere else otherwise I’ll always stay nervous which I understand but it’s thrown me as it was what I enjoyed and felt comfortable with so I don’t know what to do but I’m prettified and so reluctant to jump into a full time job considering I’ve literally just turned 18 and finished sixth form a month ago. I pay for everything I want to buy and babysit my siblings all the time but now they want rent for electricity and food etc. Opinions please about doing straight into full time work?

Reply 1

Mgan.k

Following on, I love the job I’m in at the moment and feel like I’m being pushed to leave … the pays not great but it adds up and I’d hate to leave. I found my mum had already written my notice for me in her notes app and she won’t give it in on my behalf obviously but o hate she’s planning it all for me and I don’t want to leave but can’t stay with a full time job. My entire family is pestering me to go full time too, feels like no one understands I at least want the summer especially to spend time with my family after not seeing them during exams

Reply 2

MaxiCupcake

Hi,

I am not sure if you like my opinion, but reading through your comment, I have felt like that you should move out from your parents' house because they seem to be stressing you out to the point of anxiety and worrying about your own life.

You have just turned 18 years old, your parents, in my opinion, should be supporting you in a way that may seem like they are pushing you to do adult-like staff, such as getting a job or going studying, but if they do it in such a way that seems toxic, in other words unhealthily psychologically, then that is a bad thing they are doing.

I also understand that your financial situation is not so great, meaning it plays a crucial aspect in your daily live. I would personally suggest, from what I have read, that you would go first get a full-time job that will pay you well and that you will somewhat enjoy doing, at least for the money, and perhaps a year or two later apply for an undergraduate course at a university. By this point, you should have some money saved up in order to pay your university tuition and living costs (e.g., accommodation, foods, hygiene) where you would ideally live away from your parents, which I would suggest if they are pressuring you to the point of very low wellbeing. You can also request for a student loan to pay off your tuition costs.

I would also suggest accessing some sort of online hotline for mental health, where you can discuss and express yourself to a trusting individual that will be able to help you out (should be free of cost by charities, such as Shout or Mind).

Hope that you find this message well, even if your thread is two months old by this point,

Max