Bothered by how happy my ex is

We broke up 2 months ago 6 year relationship both our longest. It was somewhat a mutual departure and we are still in contact as friends. But I’m bothered over how much my ex is thriving, like he seems almost overjoyed and almost over it whilst I’m over here still struggling and very emotional. He’s laughing and joking and I’m still hurting and crying and broken. We meant the world to each other and I’m annoyed that he seems like he doesn’t even miss me or anything, like I’m easy to get over.

Reply 1

A Rolling Stone

20

Original post by Anonymous

We broke up 2 months ago 6 year relationship both our longest. It was somewhat a mutual departure and we are still in contact as friends. But I’m bothered over how much my ex is thriving, like he seems almost overjoyed and almost over it whilst I’m over here still struggling and very emotional. He’s laughing and joking and I’m still hurting and crying and broken. We meant the world to each other and I’m annoyed that he seems like he doesn’t even miss me or anything, like I’m easy to get over.

are you a fan of the song Good 4 U?

Reply 2

Kschu

12

Original post by Anonymous

We broke up 2 months ago 6 year relationship both our longest. It was somewhat a mutual departure and we are still in contact as friends. But I’m bothered over how much my ex is thriving, like he seems almost overjoyed and almost over it whilst I’m over here still struggling and very emotional. He’s laughing and joking and I’m still hurting and crying and broken. We meant the world to each other and I’m annoyed that he seems like he doesn’t even miss me or anything, like I’m easy to get over.

I read somewhere that guys process breakup differently than girls, like they find anything to distract themselves and seem like to be over it quicker than the girls but it could mean they haven’t fully processed the grieving stage and it tend to catch up to them later on. This could be what is happening. Maybe you should keep distance and avoid him, the more you see him happy while you’re heartbroken, the more it will affect you. Just focus on yourself. You got this.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

I think guys just display emotions differently and also do seem to disconnect better in a breakup - it doesn't mean that he doesn't care, but ultimately (mutual or not) he's moving on with his life. As harsh as it sounds, you broke up for a reason and whilst he was a big part of your life, he's not anymore and you need to focus your energy on to moving on as he is doing. There's a chance he may have seen the breakup coming and checked out/prepared himself for it, whilst it may have been more of a shock to you. Clearly there is an emotional attachment there, and you are only going to get rid of that feeling by removing yourself and stop checking in on his life, as harsh as it sounds. Coming from experience, in the early stages/months, you will just sink further down if your focus is still on him and checking up on him, or waiting for the next communication.

And unfortunately, only 2 months in when you've had a sexual relationship and it was more than friends, you are never going to manage just a friendship. We all make the same mistake and are naive with our first breakup, but the biggest healer is time and space. You need to separate your lives and go no contact. Most people take months or years of separation to get to a friendship point - you can't just switch from a relationship back to a friendship, unless there was initially a non-functional relationship beforehand.

Reply 4

gjd800

20

You don't really know what's going on with him, but as a bloke I can basically guarantee that how he appears is likely not congruous with how he is. One criticism levied at me post-recent breakup was that I was 'having a nice time without [her]'. Well yes, in some circumstances I was, but it didn't mean I wasn't still bothered about the breakup. I don't necessarily miss her but I do miss what we were together, and likely will do for a long time.

Social media does not give a full story, be wary of relying on it to gauge these things and just focus on your own happiness rather than making suppositions about his.

Bothered by how happy my ex is

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