my friendship with my only good friend
We are both teenagers. We have been friends for more than a year and a half.
I was suffering heavily for a long time, because of a lot of personal stuff. He was really supportive, and he did stand with me, and he really did help me get back on my feet, but I needed a lot of his support as I have barely any people to talk to and my school life is not the brightest. Now I feel like he is growing a bit distant or something. He gave me a different and better mindset, but it took him a very long time to accomplish that, and he had to do repeatedly, and that is on me because I was struggling to understand and I was in a destructive cycle of self-pity and shame, but now I am in a better place in life generally. He did say I am showing initiative, but I was unable to proceed, which is 100% true. But now I am turning that into action and things are looking up.
Yesterday I wrote him a message and thanked and apologized to him at the same time, that I had a shoulder to cry on and I am very thankful for it, but I leaned on it too much and that was purely unintentional, and I am deeply sorry. He said apology appreciated and no worries. Then he said let's talk today in the morning and that he will call, instead I ended up calling him just before noon he said that he actually was studying so he could not call. He said that let's talk in the afternoon, and I told him that it would be best if he rings me as I do not want to end up disturbing his studies. So, I am waiting for him right now. But I know he is a bit busy these days so he might not call but regardless.
We even call each other nicknames and he has stopped doing that since 2 days.
Am I overthinking this excessively or am I about to lose the one true friendship I have ever had? I do not want to lose him, as he is the only guy I trust, and he even has said that we both are close friends, but I am worried. Should I have an open conversation with him, or just leave it as it is as I have apologised and hope for the best?
I was suffering heavily for a long time, because of a lot of personal stuff. He was really supportive, and he did stand with me, and he really did help me get back on my feet, but I needed a lot of his support as I have barely any people to talk to and my school life is not the brightest. Now I feel like he is growing a bit distant or something. He gave me a different and better mindset, but it took him a very long time to accomplish that, and he had to do repeatedly, and that is on me because I was struggling to understand and I was in a destructive cycle of self-pity and shame, but now I am in a better place in life generally. He did say I am showing initiative, but I was unable to proceed, which is 100% true. But now I am turning that into action and things are looking up.
Yesterday I wrote him a message and thanked and apologized to him at the same time, that I had a shoulder to cry on and I am very thankful for it, but I leaned on it too much and that was purely unintentional, and I am deeply sorry. He said apology appreciated and no worries. Then he said let's talk today in the morning and that he will call, instead I ended up calling him just before noon he said that he actually was studying so he could not call. He said that let's talk in the afternoon, and I told him that it would be best if he rings me as I do not want to end up disturbing his studies. So, I am waiting for him right now. But I know he is a bit busy these days so he might not call but regardless.
We even call each other nicknames and he has stopped doing that since 2 days.
Am I overthinking this excessively or am I about to lose the one true friendship I have ever had? I do not want to lose him, as he is the only guy I trust, and he even has said that we both are close friends, but I am worried. Should I have an open conversation with him, or just leave it as it is as I have apologised and hope for the best?
Hey Anonymous,
I understand your concerns - it definitely sounds like there's something going on which your friend might feel awkward talking about. However, I think having a serious talk about this stuff may be necessary for you both? I'd recommend that you write down (even bullet point!) everything you want to mention, just making sure that you get everything off your chest. Importantly, let him know about how these things make you feel - just even if that's saying that you struggle w/ friendship etc. and so this stuff really knocks you, and, if you can, maybe saying what can be done to help (e.g. just saying "I feel a little overwhelmed" and taking some time alone); I'd let your friend know that maybe you guys do need to be open and honest with each other, even if that means it's not pleasant. Frankly, sometimes, we all get exhausted, even with other people; Especially our close friends! That just means we might need a break, or a little less time together. That doesn't mean that we like each other any less, or that things are "wrong" - this stuff is wholly natural!
Did you two talk later? How did things change? It seems like you two are at a crucial point in your relationship. Please let us know, I hope this helps!
I understand your concerns - it definitely sounds like there's something going on which your friend might feel awkward talking about. However, I think having a serious talk about this stuff may be necessary for you both? I'd recommend that you write down (even bullet point!) everything you want to mention, just making sure that you get everything off your chest. Importantly, let him know about how these things make you feel - just even if that's saying that you struggle w/ friendship etc. and so this stuff really knocks you, and, if you can, maybe saying what can be done to help (e.g. just saying "I feel a little overwhelmed" and taking some time alone); I'd let your friend know that maybe you guys do need to be open and honest with each other, even if that means it's not pleasant. Frankly, sometimes, we all get exhausted, even with other people; Especially our close friends! That just means we might need a break, or a little less time together. That doesn't mean that we like each other any less, or that things are "wrong" - this stuff is wholly natural!
Did you two talk later? How did things change? It seems like you two are at a crucial point in your relationship. Please let us know, I hope this helps!
Original post by Castrovalva
Hey Anonymous,
I understand your concerns - it definitely sounds like there's something going on which your friend might feel awkward talking about. However, I think having a serious talk about this stuff may be necessary for you both? I'd recommend that you write down (even bullet point!) everything you want to mention, just making sure that you get everything off your chest. Importantly, let him know about how these things make you feel - just even if that's saying that you struggle w/ friendship etc. and so this stuff really knocks you, and, if you can, maybe saying what can be done to help (e.g. just saying "I feel a little overwhelmed" and taking some time alone); I'd let your friend know that maybe you guys do need to be open and honest with each other, even if that means it's not pleasant. Frankly, sometimes, we all get exhausted, even with other people; Especially our close friends! That just means we might need a break, or a little less time together. That doesn't mean that we like each other any less, or that things are "wrong" - this stuff is wholly natural!
Did you two talk later? How did things change? It seems like you two are at a crucial point in your relationship. Please let us know, I hope this helps!
I understand your concerns - it definitely sounds like there's something going on which your friend might feel awkward talking about. However, I think having a serious talk about this stuff may be necessary for you both? I'd recommend that you write down (even bullet point!) everything you want to mention, just making sure that you get everything off your chest. Importantly, let him know about how these things make you feel - just even if that's saying that you struggle w/ friendship etc. and so this stuff really knocks you, and, if you can, maybe saying what can be done to help (e.g. just saying "I feel a little overwhelmed" and taking some time alone); I'd let your friend know that maybe you guys do need to be open and honest with each other, even if that means it's not pleasant. Frankly, sometimes, we all get exhausted, even with other people; Especially our close friends! That just means we might need a break, or a little less time together. That doesn't mean that we like each other any less, or that things are "wrong" - this stuff is wholly natural!
Did you two talk later? How did things change? It seems like you two are at a crucial point in your relationship. Please let us know, I hope this helps!
Thank you so much for your response. Yes we did talk later and it was very nice and cordial and everything felt okay. But I believe in repeated trials so am gonna see how today/the next occasion we call works out.
He already knows I'm extremely lonely and lead a rather forced life of extreme seclusion. All my problems began when I stopped secluding myself.
I'm glad things went well! As long as you guys are honest and okay, I truly believe you'll be fine
Keep us posted - I'm here if you need to PM/talk!
Keep us posted - I'm here if you need to PM/talk!
Original post by Castrovalva
I'm glad things went well! As long as you guys are honest and okay, I truly believe you'll be fine
Keep us posted - I'm here if you need to PM/talk!
Keep us posted - I'm here if you need to PM/talk!
Thanks a lot.
All has been sorted
had a bit of a conversation with him, and he said that all good Original post by Castrovalva
I'm glad things went well! As long as you guys are honest and okay, I truly believe you'll be fine
Keep us posted - I'm here if you need to PM/talk!
Keep us posted - I'm here if you need to PM/talk!
There is one thing I want to add.
Because he helped me a lot, he sometimes uses it as a chip on my shoulder. I have told him I do not like it but he seems pretty casual about it. Should I confront this the next time he does this?
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