3 years have passed

My ex broke up with me over 3 years ago without ever reaching out and she blocked me on everything and even restricted her parents from sharing what they share on social media so I won't see. I been with the ex for over 3 years at the time and we even lived together and I was planning on proposing. The issues* we had was constant arguing, jealousy and controlling over each other. When I met her for first time we were good friends and she friendzoned for over a year and I really showed her how much I cared and she said we could try. But she warned me that every relationship she had she always broke up with the guys without them doing anything. After a month she broke up with me and asked if we could be still friend which I said No to and went no contact and went abroad for a month vacation. After that she realised she didn't want to miss out and wanted to meet and made it official after that.* During the relationship we constantly argued but everytime we fixed it and talked it out. But it was affecting everyone around us and obviously ourselves. But I guess we really care for each other as normal people would have gave up after few month this went on for years. 3rd year of relationship she started university and changed once she moved out I didn't go university and I was working. The arguing got worse and she was going out more and hiding her stories on ig. Later that year we moved in together and she wanted to start a beauty product business so I gave her $5000 to help her. We lasted 1 month living together it got to the point she was causing arguments over me just being present and telling me to leave her alone if I was in same room. Example being she was watching TV and said to leave her as she didn't want to watch TV with me. It was truly heart breaking for me and I was crying in the bathroom. One day I found out my uncle got really ill so I had to make a journey that was 3hr one way to see him. I told her about it and she wasn't happy as it ruined her plans but I had to leave. Couple days later I came back to our house and the feeling inside the house was so dark. She aired me entering the house and asked me if I got her food. At that point I snapped and I said I can't go on like this why are you like that. She responded because I don't love you anymore and I'm glad we never got married and I don't want to be with you anymore. With that and tears dropping my face I backed within 15 mins and left with 2 bags. I contacted her week later to what she said its not me it's her but said she realised the grass is greener on other side. Then she blocked me on everything and months later I saw her family listing my items on Craigslist without ever returning any money or getting a apology. I found it funny how she allowed her exs to follow and like her post and said she didn't want to block them as it was mean but with me got blocked on everything even league of legends as we played together 🤣 1 year later I asked her for coffee which she said okay to but then cancelled and chickened out and every since I been over 2 years in no contact. I never seen her and I don't want to see her randomly on the street either. I saw her mum once few months after break up and she walked past me like 💩 and then my sister saw her and she walked past my sister too like 💩 and even gave her dirty looks. I still don't understand why? Okay things didn't work out between us but I guess she had no respect. It got better for me I ain't thinking about her everyday anymore and I'm at peace but I still think about her and the idea of that love and what was and at times she visits me in dreams. But my question is how can someone just move on after everything that had happened? Does she think about me like I do about her or is that just me and my personality? We were our first for everything including intimacy so I guess she will always be in my heart and mind even though the relationship was toxic

Reply 1

Zarek

Your post is difficult to read without paragraphs. However looks like the writing was on the wall right from the start. Best thing is to stop letting her live rent free in your head, there’s no benefit in this whatsoever, and put the energy instead in to finding someone decent

Reply 2

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

10 months ago you said you'd been single for 4 years and I also note that this thread has been cross-posted on reddit. I'll assume good faith.

The reality is that when something seems sudden to one party, the other side has been feeling that way for a long while.

A toxic relationship where you argue constantly isn't a beautiful and unique snowflake to preserve just because you were your respective 'firsts'. Agree with Zarek as usual, no point dwelling on things, (especially as you were in much the same position 2 years ago).