Beginning to struggle with adjusting to University life, where do I go from here?
Hi,
I've been here for almost a month now, and at first I thought I was having general teething issues with the adjustment to life at Uni but I think it's begun to spiral into a bit more than that.
I'll start with the good parts, my flatmates are decent people and I haven't had any nightmare situations yet where we've genuinely clashed or butted heads, and I'm really thankful for that considering the number of horror stories you hear online. I'm also doing a foundation year, which means settling in academically hasn't been as demanding as it may have been had I not chosen to take one, and it's given me time to adjust to and accept where I am with everything at the moment. Sheffield is also a really lovely city and I'm really happy that I chose to come here for Uni over anywhere else.
That's about where the positives end though, everything else seems to be falling down around me and as much as I want to be able to stand up and face it all, I don't know if I can or not. My physical health is going to hell because of a number of factors, I'm not eating enough food but my body never seems to want to tell me it's hungry and I also have this weird anxiety around making food while others are in the kitchen, which has sort of put a limit on when I can and can't make myself food. I'm sure this will be something I get over eventually, but for now it's just kind of infuriating. I feel like a lack of a proper diet has had a massive knock-on effect on my sleep, which is something I've always struggled with anyway, but it's gotten even worse.
Sleep is something I feel completely lost with, as I don't think anyone really takes my issues with it seriously, even though it's been something I've struggled with since I was about 4 or 5 years old, yet every doctor I've seen regarding it has always given the same advice which never works (no screens before bed, have a glass of warm milk, have a wind-down routine etc.) and I'm nervous bringing it up with my new GP in the area as I know it'll almost definitely end up being a repetition of the same schtick I've been hearing for over a decade now. I'm not one to advocate for every problem in life being heavily medicated or anything, but surely when someone's following their doctor's advice and even taking OTC sleep aids and STILL ending up with sleep patterns as varied as 5am-2pm, 12pm-5pm, 9pm-4am (my sleep isn't even consistently like early morning-early afternoon cycles, there is genuinely just no cycle) then surely there's got to be a viable prescription alternative.The social side of things is something I think we're all struggling with to some extent, but I'm not really sure what I can do that I'm not already doing. I'll preface this with saying that I don't do nights out clubbing etc. and I know that this likely hasn't helped in my efforts to meet people but it took maybe about 5 minutes in one during freshers week and bordering on a panic attack to know that life isn't for me, too much loud music and flashing lights for me. So I've tried socialising through other means, I tried joining a sport before realising most of the sports at Uni are extremely competitive and I just was not going to make the cut in the slightest. I've done some social sport outside of the university's reach itself (Football For Foodbanks) and it's great fun but I have so far found it a bit tough to really relate to anyone else there as many of them are former students in their mid 20s who have already graduated or are regular working people in their 30s. The football is fun though, so I'm going to keep going as and when I can. I've joined a couple of societies that revolve around my interests (Karting + Travel) but so far the only social events they've done are bar/club crawls and it's a shame because I really would like to get to know these people. The disability support teams run social events for autistic students every couple of days, but they're always in the early afternoon for some god forsaken reason, so they always seem to clash with my lectures, seminars etc. so I've still not been able to go to any of them. I might end up skipping to go to one at some point just so see what's going on, but I'm way more worried about falling behind than I should reasonably be at this point, I know I should just ease up a bit but my brain likes to overthink more than it should.
Those are my main major concerns, but I do have a few smaller issues that I want to get off my mind too. The student accommodation building I'm in is too bloody hot. It's October, why does my bedroom feel like a sauna? There's no AC (I expected as such) but it was only built a few years ago so I thought there would at least be some form of protection against 'Holy crap, I'm melting!' syndrome.
I also feel a bit alienated from my flatmates in a weird sense, we all come from similar backgrounds (lower-middle/working class British) but they all live way closer to home than I do. 2 of them live in Leicester, one lives in Derby and one lives in Manchester. I came up from Great Yarmouth. All of them have been home to their family for the day or weekend at least once already and it feels a bit like a gut punch knowing that if I wanted to do that, it would cost me over £50 (with a railcard!) and 4 and a half hours of travel either way. I know it's partly my fault for choosing Sheffield, but it's one of the best cities I could have chosen for my course (Sports Journalism) and I actually love the city itself, it's just a bit of a cold reminder that when they go home semi-regularly, I can only really reasonably go back around Christmas or whenever I have more than a week off.
Circuit Laundry can go to hell, that's all I need to say about the laundrette here.
Money is constantly on my mind even though there's no real reason it should be. I have a job, I have over £400 in savings already, I've still got about £60 to last me the next 2 weeks and I still have a freezer shelf full of enough food to last me a round a week, same for the fridge. But for some reason I'm still consistently anxious about it. I suppose it's a good thing to worry about, but it's still kind of a shame that I have more worries to pile on to the existing ones.
Anyway, thanks for reading this jumbled up mess of a rant (kind of?) - any help and advice is much appreciated, same for any just general words of comfort. Here's to hoping it gets better soon
I've been here for almost a month now, and at first I thought I was having general teething issues with the adjustment to life at Uni but I think it's begun to spiral into a bit more than that.
I'll start with the good parts, my flatmates are decent people and I haven't had any nightmare situations yet where we've genuinely clashed or butted heads, and I'm really thankful for that considering the number of horror stories you hear online. I'm also doing a foundation year, which means settling in academically hasn't been as demanding as it may have been had I not chosen to take one, and it's given me time to adjust to and accept where I am with everything at the moment. Sheffield is also a really lovely city and I'm really happy that I chose to come here for Uni over anywhere else.
That's about where the positives end though, everything else seems to be falling down around me and as much as I want to be able to stand up and face it all, I don't know if I can or not. My physical health is going to hell because of a number of factors, I'm not eating enough food but my body never seems to want to tell me it's hungry and I also have this weird anxiety around making food while others are in the kitchen, which has sort of put a limit on when I can and can't make myself food. I'm sure this will be something I get over eventually, but for now it's just kind of infuriating. I feel like a lack of a proper diet has had a massive knock-on effect on my sleep, which is something I've always struggled with anyway, but it's gotten even worse.
Sleep is something I feel completely lost with, as I don't think anyone really takes my issues with it seriously, even though it's been something I've struggled with since I was about 4 or 5 years old, yet every doctor I've seen regarding it has always given the same advice which never works (no screens before bed, have a glass of warm milk, have a wind-down routine etc.) and I'm nervous bringing it up with my new GP in the area as I know it'll almost definitely end up being a repetition of the same schtick I've been hearing for over a decade now. I'm not one to advocate for every problem in life being heavily medicated or anything, but surely when someone's following their doctor's advice and even taking OTC sleep aids and STILL ending up with sleep patterns as varied as 5am-2pm, 12pm-5pm, 9pm-4am (my sleep isn't even consistently like early morning-early afternoon cycles, there is genuinely just no cycle) then surely there's got to be a viable prescription alternative.The social side of things is something I think we're all struggling with to some extent, but I'm not really sure what I can do that I'm not already doing. I'll preface this with saying that I don't do nights out clubbing etc. and I know that this likely hasn't helped in my efforts to meet people but it took maybe about 5 minutes in one during freshers week and bordering on a panic attack to know that life isn't for me, too much loud music and flashing lights for me. So I've tried socialising through other means, I tried joining a sport before realising most of the sports at Uni are extremely competitive and I just was not going to make the cut in the slightest. I've done some social sport outside of the university's reach itself (Football For Foodbanks) and it's great fun but I have so far found it a bit tough to really relate to anyone else there as many of them are former students in their mid 20s who have already graduated or are regular working people in their 30s. The football is fun though, so I'm going to keep going as and when I can. I've joined a couple of societies that revolve around my interests (Karting + Travel) but so far the only social events they've done are bar/club crawls and it's a shame because I really would like to get to know these people. The disability support teams run social events for autistic students every couple of days, but they're always in the early afternoon for some god forsaken reason, so they always seem to clash with my lectures, seminars etc. so I've still not been able to go to any of them. I might end up skipping to go to one at some point just so see what's going on, but I'm way more worried about falling behind than I should reasonably be at this point, I know I should just ease up a bit but my brain likes to overthink more than it should.
Those are my main major concerns, but I do have a few smaller issues that I want to get off my mind too. The student accommodation building I'm in is too bloody hot. It's October, why does my bedroom feel like a sauna? There's no AC (I expected as such) but it was only built a few years ago so I thought there would at least be some form of protection against 'Holy crap, I'm melting!' syndrome.
I also feel a bit alienated from my flatmates in a weird sense, we all come from similar backgrounds (lower-middle/working class British) but they all live way closer to home than I do. 2 of them live in Leicester, one lives in Derby and one lives in Manchester. I came up from Great Yarmouth. All of them have been home to their family for the day or weekend at least once already and it feels a bit like a gut punch knowing that if I wanted to do that, it would cost me over £50 (with a railcard!) and 4 and a half hours of travel either way. I know it's partly my fault for choosing Sheffield, but it's one of the best cities I could have chosen for my course (Sports Journalism) and I actually love the city itself, it's just a bit of a cold reminder that when they go home semi-regularly, I can only really reasonably go back around Christmas or whenever I have more than a week off.
Circuit Laundry can go to hell, that's all I need to say about the laundrette here.
Money is constantly on my mind even though there's no real reason it should be. I have a job, I have over £400 in savings already, I've still got about £60 to last me the next 2 weeks and I still have a freezer shelf full of enough food to last me a round a week, same for the fridge. But for some reason I'm still consistently anxious about it. I suppose it's a good thing to worry about, but it's still kind of a shame that I have more worries to pile on to the existing ones.
Anyway, thanks for reading this jumbled up mess of a rant (kind of?) - any help and advice is much appreciated, same for any just general words of comfort. Here's to hoping it gets better soon
(edited 6 months ago)
Firstly well done for surviving a month at Uni - it can be a very strange and lonely planet to be on when you first arrive. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to reach out and find others who have a similar outlook to yourself. Remember it can take six months or more to find just a few people who you really gel with, and sometimes getting to know others is like growing crystals - it takes months. If you get to the end of year one without any great success also remember you have another cohort of new students at the start of the new year. Plus there will be so many students still in your year (and years above) whom you have not yet met. Keep going, never lose hope and
Keep going with karting and travel even though you don't do the bar scenes. Often there are leagues for kart racing and you can get a lot of camaraderie through sharing the love of adrenaline and speed. There might be opportunities to meet students in leagues at other Uni's and compete on a social fun level (as well as the deadly serious ones) The same with travel. It is the Easter or Summer breaks where you can try and remain with the ad hock meetings with fellow travellers to go on longer trips away (camping, hitching, ride shares etc) or do the work camps in America.
Sleep - Did Covid make your sleep pattern worse? I do urge you to go back to another GP with a fresh set of eyes. Look at your general circadian rhythms. Try to get up one to two hours earlier every morning for a week or ten days, do some cardio exercise and then monitor your tiredness later in the day. You probably will have a 'lull' at about 2pm in the afternoon but you should naturally start to feel sleepy around 9pm. A warm bath can help you relax before the zzz - Look at the sleep foundation.org for their suggestions.
Often it is easier to slip into a 'later and later' night shift style falling asleep time and this plays havoc when you need to get up next day.
Research any medical studies where companies are looking for sleep volunteers (sometimes paid) to help with medication research for poor sleeping. Check with your GP that you are not suffering from PTSD and get your anxiety checked at the same time? There are some NHS sleep clinics which can do research if you are referred to them to find out what is happening to your brain wave patterns when you sleep. Do try hypnosis and meditation to see if you can allow your subconscious to settle. Then there is the 'think of nothing' exercise which is a bit like getting a computer to solve a maths question with no definite answer (perhaps infinity)
Your room? Get a second hand air con unit (now is a good time as everyone will be ditching them for Winter - always an option to go back to Uni housing office and swap rooms (as people change or bail out of Uni very early on) or look for anyone making one in for a house share next year.
Alienation from your family? See if there is anyone who can lift share you to get back to Great Yarmouth or at least put you nearer King's Lynn or Cambridge. Then you will be nearer and cut down on travel time. Remember that you have made the right choice by your own admission (no one else) If you love Sheffield it will grow on you. When you do go home it will be so much the sweeter for being away. Use all the video face timing etc if that helps.
Laundry - Find out where your local laundrettes are and/or other Uni campus laundries so you always have a choice to take and plan (& read a good book)
Try and create a contact weekly diary so you can stay 'projected' forward and know you have at least one good thing to look forward for the next day or the next week.
Never give up hope and never lose your personal 'keep going' attitude. It's absolutely ok to feel down at times. You will find that someone special and more friends but eventually something will change and before you know it you will be with those people that you could never imagine being without.
Keep going with karting and travel even though you don't do the bar scenes. Often there are leagues for kart racing and you can get a lot of camaraderie through sharing the love of adrenaline and speed. There might be opportunities to meet students in leagues at other Uni's and compete on a social fun level (as well as the deadly serious ones) The same with travel. It is the Easter or Summer breaks where you can try and remain with the ad hock meetings with fellow travellers to go on longer trips away (camping, hitching, ride shares etc) or do the work camps in America.
Sleep - Did Covid make your sleep pattern worse? I do urge you to go back to another GP with a fresh set of eyes. Look at your general circadian rhythms. Try to get up one to two hours earlier every morning for a week or ten days, do some cardio exercise and then monitor your tiredness later in the day. You probably will have a 'lull' at about 2pm in the afternoon but you should naturally start to feel sleepy around 9pm. A warm bath can help you relax before the zzz - Look at the sleep foundation.org for their suggestions.
Often it is easier to slip into a 'later and later' night shift style falling asleep time and this plays havoc when you need to get up next day.
Research any medical studies where companies are looking for sleep volunteers (sometimes paid) to help with medication research for poor sleeping. Check with your GP that you are not suffering from PTSD and get your anxiety checked at the same time? There are some NHS sleep clinics which can do research if you are referred to them to find out what is happening to your brain wave patterns when you sleep. Do try hypnosis and meditation to see if you can allow your subconscious to settle. Then there is the 'think of nothing' exercise which is a bit like getting a computer to solve a maths question with no definite answer (perhaps infinity)
Your room? Get a second hand air con unit (now is a good time as everyone will be ditching them for Winter - always an option to go back to Uni housing office and swap rooms (as people change or bail out of Uni very early on) or look for anyone making one in for a house share next year.
Alienation from your family? See if there is anyone who can lift share you to get back to Great Yarmouth or at least put you nearer King's Lynn or Cambridge. Then you will be nearer and cut down on travel time. Remember that you have made the right choice by your own admission (no one else) If you love Sheffield it will grow on you. When you do go home it will be so much the sweeter for being away. Use all the video face timing etc if that helps.
Laundry - Find out where your local laundrettes are and/or other Uni campus laundries so you always have a choice to take and plan (& read a good book)
Try and create a contact weekly diary so you can stay 'projected' forward and know you have at least one good thing to look forward for the next day or the next week.
Never give up hope and never lose your personal 'keep going' attitude. It's absolutely ok to feel down at times. You will find that someone special and more friends but eventually something will change and before you know it you will be with those people that you could never imagine being without.
Original post by jrdsiu
Hi,
I've been here for almost a month now, and at first I thought I was having general teething issues with the adjustment to life at Uni but I think it's begun to spiral into a bit more than that.
I'll start with the good parts, my flatmates are decent people and I haven't had any nightmare situations yet where we've genuinely clashed or butted heads, and I'm really thankful for that considering the number of horror stories you hear online. I'm also doing a foundation year, which means settling in academically hasn't been as demanding as it may have been had I not chosen to take one, and it's given me time to adjust to and accept where I am with everything at the moment. Sheffield is also a really lovely city and I'm really happy that I chose to come here for Uni over anywhere else.
That's about where the positives end though, everything else seems to be falling down around me and as much as I want to be able to stand up and face it all, I don't know if I can or not. My physical health is going to hell because of a number of factors, I'm not eating enough food but my body never seems to want to tell me it's hungry and I also have this weird anxiety around making food while others are in the kitchen, which has sort of put a limit on when I can and can't make myself food. I'm sure this will be something I get over eventually, but for now it's just kind of infuriating. I feel like a lack of a proper diet has had a massive knock-on effect on my sleep, which is something I've always struggled with anyway, but it's gotten even worse.
Sleep is something I feel completely lost with, as I don't think anyone really takes my issues with it seriously, even though it's been something I've struggled with since I was about 4 or 5 years old, yet every doctor I've seen regarding it has always given the same advice which never works (no screens before bed, have a glass of warm milk, have a wind-down routine etc.) and I'm nervous bringing it up with my new GP in the area as I know it'll almost definitely end up being a repetition of the same schtick I've been hearing for over a decade now. I'm not one to advocate for every problem in life being heavily medicated or anything, but surely when someone's following their doctor's advice and even taking OTC sleep aids and STILL ending up with sleep patterns as varied as 5am-2pm, 12pm-5pm, 9pm-4am (my sleep isn't even consistently like early morning-early afternoon cycles, there is genuinely just no cycle) then surely there's got to be a viable prescription alternative.The social side of things is something I think we're all struggling with to some extent, but I'm not really sure what I can do that I'm not already doing. I'll preface this with saying that I don't do nights out clubbing etc. and I know that this likely hasn't helped in my efforts to meet people but it took maybe about 5 minutes in one during freshers week and bordering on a panic attack to know that life isn't for me, too much loud music and flashing lights for me. So I've tried socialising through other means, I tried joining a sport before realising most of the sports at Uni are extremely competitive and I just was not going to make the cut in the slightest. I've done some social sport outside of the university's reach itself (Football For Foodbanks) and it's great fun but I have so far found it a bit tough to really relate to anyone else there as many of them are former students in their mid 20s who have already graduated or are regular working people in their 30s. The football is fun though, so I'm going to keep going as and when I can. I've joined a couple of societies that revolve around my interests (Karting + Travel) but so far the only social events they've done are bar/club crawls and it's a shame because I really would like to get to know these people. The disability support teams run social events for autistic students every couple of days, but they're always in the early afternoon for some god forsaken reason, so they always seem to clash with my lectures, seminars etc. so I've still not been able to go to any of them. I might end up skipping to go to one at some point just so see what's going on, but I'm way more worried about falling behind than I should reasonably be at this point, I know I should just ease up a bit but my brain likes to overthink more than it should.
Those are my main major concerns, but I do have a few smaller issues that I want to get off my mind too. The student accommodation building I'm in is too bloody hot. It's October, why does my bedroom feel like a sauna? There's no AC (I expected as such) but it was only built a few years ago so I thought there would at least be some form of protection against 'Holy crap, I'm melting!' syndrome.
I also feel a bit alienated from my flatmates in a weird sense, we all come from similar backgrounds (lower-middle/working class British) but they all live way closer to home than I do. 2 of them live in Leicester, one lives in Derby and one lives in Manchester. I came up from Great Yarmouth. All of them have been home to their family for the day or weekend at least once already and it feels a bit like a gut punch knowing that if I wanted to do that, it would cost me over £50 (with a railcard!) and 4 and a half hours of travel either way. I know it's partly my fault for choosing Sheffield, but it's one of the best cities I could have chosen for my course (Sports Journalism) and I actually love the city itself, it's just a bit of a cold reminder that when they go home semi-regularly, I can only really reasonably go back around Christmas or whenever I have more than a week off.
Circuit Laundry can go to hell, that's all I need to say about the laundrette here.
Money is constantly on my mind even though there's no real reason it should be. I have a job, I have over £400 in savings already, I've still got about £60 to last me the next 2 weeks and I still have a freezer shelf full of enough food to last me a round a week, same for the fridge. But for some reason I'm still consistently anxious about it. I suppose it's a good thing to worry about, but it's still kind of a shame that I have more worries to pile on to the existing ones.
Anyway, thanks for reading this jumbled up mess of a rant (kind of?) - any help and advice is much appreciated, same for any just general words of comfort. Here's to hoping it gets better soon
I've been here for almost a month now, and at first I thought I was having general teething issues with the adjustment to life at Uni but I think it's begun to spiral into a bit more than that.
I'll start with the good parts, my flatmates are decent people and I haven't had any nightmare situations yet where we've genuinely clashed or butted heads, and I'm really thankful for that considering the number of horror stories you hear online. I'm also doing a foundation year, which means settling in academically hasn't been as demanding as it may have been had I not chosen to take one, and it's given me time to adjust to and accept where I am with everything at the moment. Sheffield is also a really lovely city and I'm really happy that I chose to come here for Uni over anywhere else.
That's about where the positives end though, everything else seems to be falling down around me and as much as I want to be able to stand up and face it all, I don't know if I can or not. My physical health is going to hell because of a number of factors, I'm not eating enough food but my body never seems to want to tell me it's hungry and I also have this weird anxiety around making food while others are in the kitchen, which has sort of put a limit on when I can and can't make myself food. I'm sure this will be something I get over eventually, but for now it's just kind of infuriating. I feel like a lack of a proper diet has had a massive knock-on effect on my sleep, which is something I've always struggled with anyway, but it's gotten even worse.
Sleep is something I feel completely lost with, as I don't think anyone really takes my issues with it seriously, even though it's been something I've struggled with since I was about 4 or 5 years old, yet every doctor I've seen regarding it has always given the same advice which never works (no screens before bed, have a glass of warm milk, have a wind-down routine etc.) and I'm nervous bringing it up with my new GP in the area as I know it'll almost definitely end up being a repetition of the same schtick I've been hearing for over a decade now. I'm not one to advocate for every problem in life being heavily medicated or anything, but surely when someone's following their doctor's advice and even taking OTC sleep aids and STILL ending up with sleep patterns as varied as 5am-2pm, 12pm-5pm, 9pm-4am (my sleep isn't even consistently like early morning-early afternoon cycles, there is genuinely just no cycle) then surely there's got to be a viable prescription alternative.The social side of things is something I think we're all struggling with to some extent, but I'm not really sure what I can do that I'm not already doing. I'll preface this with saying that I don't do nights out clubbing etc. and I know that this likely hasn't helped in my efforts to meet people but it took maybe about 5 minutes in one during freshers week and bordering on a panic attack to know that life isn't for me, too much loud music and flashing lights for me. So I've tried socialising through other means, I tried joining a sport before realising most of the sports at Uni are extremely competitive and I just was not going to make the cut in the slightest. I've done some social sport outside of the university's reach itself (Football For Foodbanks) and it's great fun but I have so far found it a bit tough to really relate to anyone else there as many of them are former students in their mid 20s who have already graduated or are regular working people in their 30s. The football is fun though, so I'm going to keep going as and when I can. I've joined a couple of societies that revolve around my interests (Karting + Travel) but so far the only social events they've done are bar/club crawls and it's a shame because I really would like to get to know these people. The disability support teams run social events for autistic students every couple of days, but they're always in the early afternoon for some god forsaken reason, so they always seem to clash with my lectures, seminars etc. so I've still not been able to go to any of them. I might end up skipping to go to one at some point just so see what's going on, but I'm way more worried about falling behind than I should reasonably be at this point, I know I should just ease up a bit but my brain likes to overthink more than it should.
Those are my main major concerns, but I do have a few smaller issues that I want to get off my mind too. The student accommodation building I'm in is too bloody hot. It's October, why does my bedroom feel like a sauna? There's no AC (I expected as such) but it was only built a few years ago so I thought there would at least be some form of protection against 'Holy crap, I'm melting!' syndrome.
I also feel a bit alienated from my flatmates in a weird sense, we all come from similar backgrounds (lower-middle/working class British) but they all live way closer to home than I do. 2 of them live in Leicester, one lives in Derby and one lives in Manchester. I came up from Great Yarmouth. All of them have been home to their family for the day or weekend at least once already and it feels a bit like a gut punch knowing that if I wanted to do that, it would cost me over £50 (with a railcard!) and 4 and a half hours of travel either way. I know it's partly my fault for choosing Sheffield, but it's one of the best cities I could have chosen for my course (Sports Journalism) and I actually love the city itself, it's just a bit of a cold reminder that when they go home semi-regularly, I can only really reasonably go back around Christmas or whenever I have more than a week off.
Circuit Laundry can go to hell, that's all I need to say about the laundrette here.
Money is constantly on my mind even though there's no real reason it should be. I have a job, I have over £400 in savings already, I've still got about £60 to last me the next 2 weeks and I still have a freezer shelf full of enough food to last me a round a week, same for the fridge. But for some reason I'm still consistently anxious about it. I suppose it's a good thing to worry about, but it's still kind of a shame that I have more worries to pile on to the existing ones.
Anyway, thanks for reading this jumbled up mess of a rant (kind of?) - any help and advice is much appreciated, same for any just general words of comfort. Here's to hoping it gets better soon
i did foundation year last year and from great yarmouth but i go to university of manchester, uni takes some time to get use to but u soon find a routine
Original post by jrdsiu
Hi,
I've been here for almost a month now, and at first I thought I was having general teething issues with the adjustment to life at Uni but I think it's begun to spiral into a bit more than that.
I'll start with the good parts, my flatmates are decent people and I haven't had any nightmare situations yet where we've genuinely clashed or butted heads, and I'm really thankful for that considering the number of horror stories you hear online. I'm also doing a foundation year, which means settling in academically hasn't been as demanding as it may have been had I not chosen to take one, and it's given me time to adjust to and accept where I am with everything at the moment. Sheffield is also a really lovely city and I'm really happy that I chose to come here for Uni over anywhere else.
That's about where the positives end though, everything else seems to be falling down around me and as much as I want to be able to stand up and face it all, I don't know if I can or not. My physical health is going to hell because of a number of factors, I'm not eating enough food but my body never seems to want to tell me it's hungry and I also have this weird anxiety around making food while others are in the kitchen, which has sort of put a limit on when I can and can't make myself food. I'm sure this will be something I get over eventually, but for now it's just kind of infuriating. I feel like a lack of a proper diet has had a massive knock-on effect on my sleep, which is something I've always struggled with anyway, but it's gotten even worse.
Sleep is something I feel completely lost with, as I don't think anyone really takes my issues with it seriously, even though it's been something I've struggled with since I was about 4 or 5 years old, yet every doctor I've seen regarding it has always given the same advice which never works (no screens before bed, have a glass of warm milk, have a wind-down routine etc.) and I'm nervous bringing it up with my new GP in the area as I know it'll almost definitely end up being a repetition of the same schtick I've been hearing for over a decade now. I'm not one to advocate for every problem in life being heavily medicated or anything, but surely when someone's following their doctor's advice and even taking OTC sleep aids and STILL ending up with sleep patterns as varied as 5am-2pm, 12pm-5pm, 9pm-4am (my sleep isn't even consistently like early morning-early afternoon cycles, there is genuinely just no cycle) then surely there's got to be a viable prescription alternative.The social side of things is something I think we're all struggling with to some extent, but I'm not really sure what I can do that I'm not already doing. I'll preface this with saying that I don't do nights out clubbing etc. and I know that this likely hasn't helped in my efforts to meet people but it took maybe about 5 minutes in one during freshers week and bordering on a panic attack to know that life isn't for me, too much loud music and flashing lights for me. So I've tried socialising through other means, I tried joining a sport before realising most of the sports at Uni are extremely competitive and I just was not going to make the cut in the slightest. I've done some social sport outside of the university's reach itself (Football For Foodbanks) and it's great fun but I have so far found it a bit tough to really relate to anyone else there as many of them are former students in their mid 20s who have already graduated or are regular working people in their 30s. The football is fun though, so I'm going to keep going as and when I can. I've joined a couple of societies that revolve around my interests (Karting + Travel) but so far the only social events they've done are bar/club crawls and it's a shame because I really would like to get to know these people. The disability support teams run social events for autistic students every couple of days, but they're always in the early afternoon for some god forsaken reason, so they always seem to clash with my lectures, seminars etc. so I've still not been able to go to any of them. I might end up skipping to go to one at some point just so see what's going on, but I'm way more worried about falling behind than I should reasonably be at this point, I know I should just ease up a bit but my brain likes to overthink more than it should.
Those are my main major concerns, but I do have a few smaller issues that I want to get off my mind too. The student accommodation building I'm in is too bloody hot. It's October, why does my bedroom feel like a sauna? There's no AC (I expected as such) but it was only built a few years ago so I thought there would at least be some form of protection against 'Holy crap, I'm melting!' syndrome.
I also feel a bit alienated from my flatmates in a weird sense, we all come from similar backgrounds (lower-middle/working class British) but they all live way closer to home than I do. 2 of them live in Leicester, one lives in Derby and one lives in Manchester. I came up from Great Yarmouth. All of them have been home to their family for the day or weekend at least once already and it feels a bit like a gut punch knowing that if I wanted to do that, it would cost me over £50 (with a railcard!) and 4 and a half hours of travel either way. I know it's partly my fault for choosing Sheffield, but it's one of the best cities I could have chosen for my course (Sports Journalism) and I actually love the city itself, it's just a bit of a cold reminder that when they go home semi-regularly, I can only really reasonably go back around Christmas or whenever I have more than a week off.
Circuit Laundry can go to hell, that's all I need to say about the laundrette here.
Money is constantly on my mind even though there's no real reason it should be. I have a job, I have over £400 in savings already, I've still got about £60 to last me the next 2 weeks and I still have a freezer shelf full of enough food to last me a round a week, same for the fridge. But for some reason I'm still consistently anxious about it. I suppose it's a good thing to worry about, but it's still kind of a shame that I have more worries to pile on to the existing ones.
Anyway, thanks for reading this jumbled up mess of a rant (kind of?) - any help and advice is much appreciated, same for any just general words of comfort. Here's to hoping it gets better soon
I've been here for almost a month now, and at first I thought I was having general teething issues with the adjustment to life at Uni but I think it's begun to spiral into a bit more than that.
I'll start with the good parts, my flatmates are decent people and I haven't had any nightmare situations yet where we've genuinely clashed or butted heads, and I'm really thankful for that considering the number of horror stories you hear online. I'm also doing a foundation year, which means settling in academically hasn't been as demanding as it may have been had I not chosen to take one, and it's given me time to adjust to and accept where I am with everything at the moment. Sheffield is also a really lovely city and I'm really happy that I chose to come here for Uni over anywhere else.
That's about where the positives end though, everything else seems to be falling down around me and as much as I want to be able to stand up and face it all, I don't know if I can or not. My physical health is going to hell because of a number of factors, I'm not eating enough food but my body never seems to want to tell me it's hungry and I also have this weird anxiety around making food while others are in the kitchen, which has sort of put a limit on when I can and can't make myself food. I'm sure this will be something I get over eventually, but for now it's just kind of infuriating. I feel like a lack of a proper diet has had a massive knock-on effect on my sleep, which is something I've always struggled with anyway, but it's gotten even worse.
Sleep is something I feel completely lost with, as I don't think anyone really takes my issues with it seriously, even though it's been something I've struggled with since I was about 4 or 5 years old, yet every doctor I've seen regarding it has always given the same advice which never works (no screens before bed, have a glass of warm milk, have a wind-down routine etc.) and I'm nervous bringing it up with my new GP in the area as I know it'll almost definitely end up being a repetition of the same schtick I've been hearing for over a decade now. I'm not one to advocate for every problem in life being heavily medicated or anything, but surely when someone's following their doctor's advice and even taking OTC sleep aids and STILL ending up with sleep patterns as varied as 5am-2pm, 12pm-5pm, 9pm-4am (my sleep isn't even consistently like early morning-early afternoon cycles, there is genuinely just no cycle) then surely there's got to be a viable prescription alternative.The social side of things is something I think we're all struggling with to some extent, but I'm not really sure what I can do that I'm not already doing. I'll preface this with saying that I don't do nights out clubbing etc. and I know that this likely hasn't helped in my efforts to meet people but it took maybe about 5 minutes in one during freshers week and bordering on a panic attack to know that life isn't for me, too much loud music and flashing lights for me. So I've tried socialising through other means, I tried joining a sport before realising most of the sports at Uni are extremely competitive and I just was not going to make the cut in the slightest. I've done some social sport outside of the university's reach itself (Football For Foodbanks) and it's great fun but I have so far found it a bit tough to really relate to anyone else there as many of them are former students in their mid 20s who have already graduated or are regular working people in their 30s. The football is fun though, so I'm going to keep going as and when I can. I've joined a couple of societies that revolve around my interests (Karting + Travel) but so far the only social events they've done are bar/club crawls and it's a shame because I really would like to get to know these people. The disability support teams run social events for autistic students every couple of days, but they're always in the early afternoon for some god forsaken reason, so they always seem to clash with my lectures, seminars etc. so I've still not been able to go to any of them. I might end up skipping to go to one at some point just so see what's going on, but I'm way more worried about falling behind than I should reasonably be at this point, I know I should just ease up a bit but my brain likes to overthink more than it should.
Those are my main major concerns, but I do have a few smaller issues that I want to get off my mind too. The student accommodation building I'm in is too bloody hot. It's October, why does my bedroom feel like a sauna? There's no AC (I expected as such) but it was only built a few years ago so I thought there would at least be some form of protection against 'Holy crap, I'm melting!' syndrome.
I also feel a bit alienated from my flatmates in a weird sense, we all come from similar backgrounds (lower-middle/working class British) but they all live way closer to home than I do. 2 of them live in Leicester, one lives in Derby and one lives in Manchester. I came up from Great Yarmouth. All of them have been home to their family for the day or weekend at least once already and it feels a bit like a gut punch knowing that if I wanted to do that, it would cost me over £50 (with a railcard!) and 4 and a half hours of travel either way. I know it's partly my fault for choosing Sheffield, but it's one of the best cities I could have chosen for my course (Sports Journalism) and I actually love the city itself, it's just a bit of a cold reminder that when they go home semi-regularly, I can only really reasonably go back around Christmas or whenever I have more than a week off.
Circuit Laundry can go to hell, that's all I need to say about the laundrette here.
Money is constantly on my mind even though there's no real reason it should be. I have a job, I have over £400 in savings already, I've still got about £60 to last me the next 2 weeks and I still have a freezer shelf full of enough food to last me a round a week, same for the fridge. But for some reason I'm still consistently anxious about it. I suppose it's a good thing to worry about, but it's still kind of a shame that I have more worries to pile on to the existing ones.
Anyway, thanks for reading this jumbled up mess of a rant (kind of?) - any help and advice is much appreciated, same for any just general words of comfort. Here's to hoping it gets better soon
Hi there, I am sorry to hear that you are upset. I understand that it is difficult to adjust to University life, well done for giving your best go at things!
It is really brave that you are trying to step out of your comfort zone. Whilst University may seem awful at the moment, hopefully you find that the experience improves over time. It is nice to hear that your flatmates are nice, and that you are finding the course at your University okay.
Regarding the issue with food, I also had the issue of not liking to cook when people were around me. (partly because I was bad at it, and I did not enjoy having to force conversations). I would recommend just planning out times each day where you would make your meals and stick to this plan. With some flatmates, I found they would enjoy chatting, but others were more on the quiet side. If you are happy to start conversation with them, that would be a good way to make friends. If not, I found that wearing headphones and listening to music helped me feel more comfortable cooking when others were in the kitchen.
Maybe not focus on when you are hungry and not, instead stick to a planned diet/ eating time, hopefully you will find that your health improves overtime.
Sorry to hear about your bad experiences with previous GPs. For sleep, if it is something that is genuinely concerning you and affecting your life, speak to the GP at your University. You can tell them about your history with previous GPs and explain your situation in a bit more detail. I am sure they will be able to help you out.
And if the medication does not work for you, always go back and make them aware of your situation. You are right in that the social side "clubbing/ drinking" part of University is not for everyone. (I also eliminated this option in first year). Joining sports is a really good way to meet people, if you are new to the sport or do not play competitively, just going for societies hosted events will be good. (If you enjoy it, definitely keep going! I am sure you will make some friends over time.) Sorry to hear that your societies do not host events that you enjoy. Perhaps you could consider checking other societies out at the same time. (You could always try to pick up a new interest whilst you wait for the Karting & Travel society to host an event that you fancy).
Regarding the lectures and seminars, some lectures may be recorded, I would recommend checking this and seeing if you can access it afterwards, so you would not have to fall behind. (This may allow you access the disability support teams). Another thing I would recommend is either getting in touch with the timetabling team or the disability support team. You could make them aware of your situation and ask for adjustments for your seminar hours, this means you would not have to miss any lessons. If you feel that you are struggling or upset at University, you could always contact their support and wellbeing team. They are here to listen to you and hopefully they can arrange something to help you out as well.
If your room's temperature is too hot, perhaps consider buying a small aircon or fan. (though do check if these are allowed beforehand). I understand that it can be frustrating not being able to head back home as often as your flatmates. Though you could always try to contact your family and friends via phone calls.
Regarding spending, it is always good that you are looking at how much you are spending, but you should not be over worrying about it at any point. I found that planning how much my budget was for each week was really useful. I would spend this amount when out for groceries, this would allow you to feel more confident in handling your money (you know you will have some left).
I know it may seem like the situation is quite bad at the moment, but it does improve. Different people take different amounts of time to settle into University, and that is okay. Just continue to try your best and always reach out to staff for support if you need it. Most Universities have a very good support system, so do make good use of them. Make sure to take care of yourself and good luck!
I hope this helps.
Chloe
-University of Kent Student Rep
Original post by jrdsiu
Hi,
I've been here for almost a month now, and at first I thought I was having general teething issues with the adjustment to life at Uni but I think it's begun to spiral into a bit more than that.
I'll start with the good parts, my flatmates are decent people and I haven't had any nightmare situations yet where we've genuinely clashed or butted heads, and I'm really thankful for that considering the number of horror stories you hear online. I'm also doing a foundation year, which means settling in academically hasn't been as demanding as it may have been had I not chosen to take one, and it's given me time to adjust to and accept where I am with everything at the moment. Sheffield is also a really lovely city and I'm really happy that I chose to come here for Uni over anywhere else.
That's about where the positives end though, everything else seems to be falling down around me and as much as I want to be able to stand up and face it all, I don't know if I can or not. My physical health is going to hell because of a number of factors, I'm not eating enough food but my body never seems to want to tell me it's hungry and I also have this weird anxiety around making food while others are in the kitchen, which has sort of put a limit on when I can and can't make myself food. I'm sure this will be something I get over eventually, but for now it's just kind of infuriating. I feel like a lack of a proper diet has had a massive knock-on effect on my sleep, which is something I've always struggled with anyway, but it's gotten even worse.
Sleep is something I feel completely lost with, as I don't think anyone really takes my issues with it seriously, even though it's been something I've struggled with since I was about 4 or 5 years old, yet every doctor I've seen regarding it has always given the same advice which never works (no screens before bed, have a glass of warm milk, have a wind-down routine etc.) and I'm nervous bringing it up with my new GP in the area as I know it'll almost definitely end up being a repetition of the same schtick I've been hearing for over a decade now. I'm not one to advocate for every problem in life being heavily medicated or anything, but surely when someone's following their doctor's advice and even taking OTC sleep aids and STILL ending up with sleep patterns as varied as 5am-2pm, 12pm-5pm, 9pm-4am (my sleep isn't even consistently like early morning-early afternoon cycles, there is genuinely just no cycle) then surely there's got to be a viable prescription alternative.The social side of things is something I think we're all struggling with to some extent, but I'm not really sure what I can do that I'm not already doing. I'll preface this with saying that I don't do nights out clubbing etc. and I know that this likely hasn't helped in my efforts to meet people but it took maybe about 5 minutes in one during freshers week and bordering on a panic attack to know that life isn't for me, too much loud music and flashing lights for me. So I've tried socialising through other means, I tried joining a sport before realising most of the sports at Uni are extremely competitive and I just was not going to make the cut in the slightest. I've done some social sport outside of the university's reach itself (Football For Foodbanks) and it's great fun but I have so far found it a bit tough to really relate to anyone else there as many of them are former students in their mid 20s who have already graduated or are regular working people in their 30s. The football is fun though, so I'm going to keep going as and when I can. I've joined a couple of societies that revolve around my interests (Karting + Travel) but so far the only social events they've done are bar/club crawls and it's a shame because I really would like to get to know these people. The disability support teams run social events for autistic students every couple of days, but they're always in the early afternoon for some god forsaken reason, so they always seem to clash with my lectures, seminars etc. so I've still not been able to go to any of them. I might end up skipping to go to one at some point just so see what's going on, but I'm way more worried about falling behind than I should reasonably be at this point, I know I should just ease up a bit but my brain likes to overthink more than it should.
Those are my main major concerns, but I do have a few smaller issues that I want to get off my mind too. The student accommodation building I'm in is too bloody hot. It's October, why does my bedroom feel like a sauna? There's no AC (I expected as such) but it was only built a few years ago so I thought there would at least be some form of protection against 'Holy crap, I'm melting!' syndrome.
I also feel a bit alienated from my flatmates in a weird sense, we all come from similar backgrounds (lower-middle/working class British) but they all live way closer to home than I do. 2 of them live in Leicester, one lives in Derby and one lives in Manchester. I came up from Great Yarmouth. All of them have been home to their family for the day or weekend at least once already and it feels a bit like a gut punch knowing that if I wanted to do that, it would cost me over £50 (with a railcard!) and 4 and a half hours of travel either way. I know it's partly my fault for choosing Sheffield, but it's one of the best cities I could have chosen for my course (Sports Journalism) and I actually love the city itself, it's just a bit of a cold reminder that when they go home semi-regularly, I can only really reasonably go back around Christmas or whenever I have more than a week off.
Circuit Laundry can go to hell, that's all I need to say about the laundrette here.
Money is constantly on my mind even though there's no real reason it should be. I have a job, I have over £400 in savings already, I've still got about £60 to last me the next 2 weeks and I still have a freezer shelf full of enough food to last me a round a week, same for the fridge. But for some reason I'm still consistently anxious about it. I suppose it's a good thing to worry about, but it's still kind of a shame that I have more worries to pile on to the existing ones.
Anyway, thanks for reading this jumbled up mess of a rant (kind of?) - any help and advice is much appreciated, same for any just general words of comfort. Here's to hoping it gets better soon
I've been here for almost a month now, and at first I thought I was having general teething issues with the adjustment to life at Uni but I think it's begun to spiral into a bit more than that.
I'll start with the good parts, my flatmates are decent people and I haven't had any nightmare situations yet where we've genuinely clashed or butted heads, and I'm really thankful for that considering the number of horror stories you hear online. I'm also doing a foundation year, which means settling in academically hasn't been as demanding as it may have been had I not chosen to take one, and it's given me time to adjust to and accept where I am with everything at the moment. Sheffield is also a really lovely city and I'm really happy that I chose to come here for Uni over anywhere else.
That's about where the positives end though, everything else seems to be falling down around me and as much as I want to be able to stand up and face it all, I don't know if I can or not. My physical health is going to hell because of a number of factors, I'm not eating enough food but my body never seems to want to tell me it's hungry and I also have this weird anxiety around making food while others are in the kitchen, which has sort of put a limit on when I can and can't make myself food. I'm sure this will be something I get over eventually, but for now it's just kind of infuriating. I feel like a lack of a proper diet has had a massive knock-on effect on my sleep, which is something I've always struggled with anyway, but it's gotten even worse.
Sleep is something I feel completely lost with, as I don't think anyone really takes my issues with it seriously, even though it's been something I've struggled with since I was about 4 or 5 years old, yet every doctor I've seen regarding it has always given the same advice which never works (no screens before bed, have a glass of warm milk, have a wind-down routine etc.) and I'm nervous bringing it up with my new GP in the area as I know it'll almost definitely end up being a repetition of the same schtick I've been hearing for over a decade now. I'm not one to advocate for every problem in life being heavily medicated or anything, but surely when someone's following their doctor's advice and even taking OTC sleep aids and STILL ending up with sleep patterns as varied as 5am-2pm, 12pm-5pm, 9pm-4am (my sleep isn't even consistently like early morning-early afternoon cycles, there is genuinely just no cycle) then surely there's got to be a viable prescription alternative.The social side of things is something I think we're all struggling with to some extent, but I'm not really sure what I can do that I'm not already doing. I'll preface this with saying that I don't do nights out clubbing etc. and I know that this likely hasn't helped in my efforts to meet people but it took maybe about 5 minutes in one during freshers week and bordering on a panic attack to know that life isn't for me, too much loud music and flashing lights for me. So I've tried socialising through other means, I tried joining a sport before realising most of the sports at Uni are extremely competitive and I just was not going to make the cut in the slightest. I've done some social sport outside of the university's reach itself (Football For Foodbanks) and it's great fun but I have so far found it a bit tough to really relate to anyone else there as many of them are former students in their mid 20s who have already graduated or are regular working people in their 30s. The football is fun though, so I'm going to keep going as and when I can. I've joined a couple of societies that revolve around my interests (Karting + Travel) but so far the only social events they've done are bar/club crawls and it's a shame because I really would like to get to know these people. The disability support teams run social events for autistic students every couple of days, but they're always in the early afternoon for some god forsaken reason, so they always seem to clash with my lectures, seminars etc. so I've still not been able to go to any of them. I might end up skipping to go to one at some point just so see what's going on, but I'm way more worried about falling behind than I should reasonably be at this point, I know I should just ease up a bit but my brain likes to overthink more than it should.
Those are my main major concerns, but I do have a few smaller issues that I want to get off my mind too. The student accommodation building I'm in is too bloody hot. It's October, why does my bedroom feel like a sauna? There's no AC (I expected as such) but it was only built a few years ago so I thought there would at least be some form of protection against 'Holy crap, I'm melting!' syndrome.
I also feel a bit alienated from my flatmates in a weird sense, we all come from similar backgrounds (lower-middle/working class British) but they all live way closer to home than I do. 2 of them live in Leicester, one lives in Derby and one lives in Manchester. I came up from Great Yarmouth. All of them have been home to their family for the day or weekend at least once already and it feels a bit like a gut punch knowing that if I wanted to do that, it would cost me over £50 (with a railcard!) and 4 and a half hours of travel either way. I know it's partly my fault for choosing Sheffield, but it's one of the best cities I could have chosen for my course (Sports Journalism) and I actually love the city itself, it's just a bit of a cold reminder that when they go home semi-regularly, I can only really reasonably go back around Christmas or whenever I have more than a week off.
Circuit Laundry can go to hell, that's all I need to say about the laundrette here.
Money is constantly on my mind even though there's no real reason it should be. I have a job, I have over £400 in savings already, I've still got about £60 to last me the next 2 weeks and I still have a freezer shelf full of enough food to last me a round a week, same for the fridge. But for some reason I'm still consistently anxious about it. I suppose it's a good thing to worry about, but it's still kind of a shame that I have more worries to pile on to the existing ones.
Anyway, thanks for reading this jumbled up mess of a rant (kind of?) - any help and advice is much appreciated, same for any just general words of comfort. Here's to hoping it gets better soon
Hi,
Sorry to hear you have been struggling at Uni.
In terms of food, would it help to keep some food in your room so you didn't need to go into the kitchen? In the SU there is a microwave that anyone can use, and you can also get boiling water. Or you could ask your flatmates if you could have a schedule for cooking in the evenings.
I also have issues with sleep and have never had a good sleep pattern, even though I've tried lots of different things. I completely get the frustration of being told to just have a routine or something and it never works. I would say try going to a GP again, sometimes the advice they give is different to adults and children so you might get some more options.
From your point about the autism socials, I'm guessing you're autistic.
There is a neurodiversity social meet up on Wednesdays around lunch time every other week it is in person (1-2pm in the IC)and then the other week it is online. You might find that beneficial if you can make it, there isn't a set thing to discuss it's just whatever the people there want to talk about.
Have you applied for DSA? If so, you may be able to get a specialist study skills tutor or mentor. I have both and have found them very useful. The mentor could help you plan your week and maybe make a meal plan and shopping list or just be a supportive listener if you just need to vent and the study skills tutor could help you plan out any assignments and maybe just reassure you that you aren't falling behind.
You could see if your lectures are recorded and what the attendance criteria are, which you might be able to talk to DDSS and get a LSP in regards to it, which could give you more flexibility around sleeping.
There is also the Wellbeing service that you could book an appointment with and chat to someone about what's going on and they might be able to offer more advice.
There are lots of students who haven't been home yet although it can be lonely when everyone else you know goes home. Do you have a reading week? You could possible go home then, or you could see if it would be possible for someone to visit you.
Sheffield does have lots of societies and quite a lot of them will do socials that don't involve nights out/alcohol. Although I appreciate it can be tricky to figure out which ones. Are you interested in crafts or learning a language at all? There are also some non - competitive dance societies.
As someone else said, it can take a while to find your people at university and it can also take some time to feel settled.
Hope things get better for you,
Lizzie (3rd year Maths and Philosophy Student at the University of Sheffield)
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