I think I hate myself for this...

So...it's that time of year- you're stressing crazy over mocks and now there's all this sixth form/college talk.
It's probably because I'm overly emotional and sensitive- but I don't know HOW I'll cope without my best friends of 5 years. We're like super close- we know everything about everything about one another, and I can't picture my life after secondary without these people.
A week or so ago, I found out that not everyone in our group I had originally thought- were now coming to the same college as me. And one person especially- my best friend.
So I had a bit of a mardy (this was over text), I told them they had nothing to worry about and to please, please come with me. They have their own reasons that they shared with me, and I completely understand where they're coming from.
I can't help feel a bit selfish though- especially when everyone begins gushing over this other college they'll all be at together- without me.
It's selfish and immature, ik. I hate how attached I've become unlike others, who can just laugh it off. And I hate how clingy I've become.
Any advice? I'm filled with anxiety at what I'll do with myself if I part with them. I weirdly never hear abt struggles like this, or it might just be me...
Ty in advance xxx

Reply 1

rowan_willow

Original post by Anonymous

hey,

I am a year 13 and when I was in about year 10, I had the same problem, the sixth form I wanted to go to was an hour across the city, and I knew no one who wanted to go with me. However, all my close friends and my boyfriend were staying at a single sixth form but for personal reasons, I couldn't face going.

When I started sixth form I was terrified I was going to lose touch with my partner and my best friend, and that without seeing them every day I would be completely left out.

I won't lie to you, it was hard, and I am also not going to sugarcoat it and tell you nothing will change, because it has but that happens and it's okay.

I recommend planning to meet up maybe once or more a week. definitely play online games weekly or whatever hobby you can enjoy together, you and your friend group should try to make a big group chat, we have a discord server and we chat daily, we even have a book club and a dnd club! There are times when I am left out of things but it's never done by my partner or best friend, so people who care will genuinely put the effort in.

Apart from that, I think you need to work on yourself, be more confident about spending time without them, go and do activities alone, it sounds weird but it's quite liberating!! Also, pick up some new hobbies because they can help too, I have an anxiety journal which cost like a fiver on Amazon, they are super useful in understanding why you feel so attached if you get what I mean, its like cheap therapy lol

This isn't the end of your friendship and you're not alone I promise,

If you need to chat about anything like that feel free to PM me, and I hope some of this is helpful <3333