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Anxiety about coming across as flirting

This morning I had an interaction with someone who works at my university that has left me really anxious that I came across as flirting. To start, my boyfriend and I like to bake, and last night we made pastries and ofc ate some ourselves, but we also like to give some out to people we know when we can. Not many of our friends are back from the Christmas break yet, so we planned on giving one to the cleaner in one of the uni buildings who we know, and since I’d locked myself out and needed to go and get the master key, I thought I’d give one to whoever was on the desk that morning. Anyway, I take one down and on the desk is the guy who I end up talking to the most. Just to be clear, I don’t have and have never had feelings for this guy, and he must be a few decades older, but we’re pretty friendly and often chat a bit when we bump into one another (far too often than it should be since I lock myself out a bit too frequently). Anyway, the first thing was I realised that we’d put a heart pattern onto the pastries. Usually there are two people at once on the desk so then it would have been clear that the design wasn’t personal, but that in itself made me anxious that it came across like I was just giving him a heart-shaped pastry. Next thing is he’s mentioning gaining weight from Christmas food and I say what my mum always says when someone mentions gaining weight, which is that muscle weighs more than fat so weight isn’t always a good measurement of health. But again, I feel like that could be construed the wrong way. Anyway, then he mentioned his wife and that’s what really makes me anxious that he thought I was flirting. Now I’m contemplating whether I can live a life without ever forgetting my key again so I never have to bump into him after that palava, but I also realise I’m likely overthinking. Basically I could just do with some reassurance. Thank you for reading all of this, anyway, even if you don’t reply in the end!
If he mentioned that he’s married then I doubt he perceived it as flirting. You’re probably overthinking how it came across, but once you’re around middle aged you tend to just enjoy a bit of banter with friendly people.
Reply 2
Original post by Anonymous #1
This morning I had an interaction with someone who works at my university that has left me really anxious that I came across as flirting. To start, my boyfriend and I like to bake, and last night we made pastries and ofc ate some ourselves, but we also like to give some out to people we know when we can. Not many of our friends are back from the Christmas break yet, so we planned on giving one to the cleaner in one of the uni buildings who we know, and since I’d locked myself out and needed to go and get the master key, I thought I’d give one to whoever was on the desk that morning. Anyway, I take one down and on the desk is the guy who I end up talking to the most. Just to be clear, I don’t have and have never had feelings for this guy, and he must be a few decades older, but we’re pretty friendly and often chat a bit when we bump into one another (far too often than it should be since I lock myself out a bit too frequently). Anyway, the first thing was I realised that we’d put a heart pattern onto the pastries. Usually there are two people at once on the desk so then it would have been clear that the design wasn’t personal, but that in itself made me anxious that it came across like I was just giving him a heart-shaped pastry. Next thing is he’s mentioning gaining weight from Christmas food and I say what my mum always says when someone mentions gaining weight, which is that muscle weighs more than fat so weight isn’t always a good measurement of health. But again, I feel like that could be construed the wrong way. Anyway, then he mentioned his wife and that’s what really makes me anxious that he thought I was flirting. Now I’m contemplating whether I can live a life without ever forgetting my key again so I never have to bump into him after that palava, but I also realise I’m likely overthinking. Basically I could just do with some reassurance. Thank you for reading all of this, anyway, even if you don’t reply in the end!


this defo sounds like overthinking so do not worry! truthfully it doesn’t seem like flirting to me but if i were you i’d feel a bit awks everytime i saw him😭😭you will be okay way more embarrassing things have happened to me

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