(Sorry about the title, I didn't know how to make it concise)
I took a science course as one of my electives this year. Today I had a class in the lab. I'm a humanities student so I've no experience with this kind of thing. It was very scary. I was late because the building is very far away from where I live. The room was very big and there were a lot of people. The lighting was making me feel uneasy, and I didn't realise that I'd have to wear a labcoat, which I really don't want to do because they don't look comfortable to wear and I'm worried about my body looking weird in them (I would need to check in a mirror to know if it was ok). There's also just something very unpleasant about wearing a communal garment, even if it is washed and stuff. It also seems like everyone in that class already knows each other, which is really daunting because I struggle a lot with meeting new people. I'm older than most UG students because I started uni late + then had to take time off due to mental health. I am always scared people think I'm weird/repugnant and I find it difficult to speak to strangers (I usually just nod/point etc).
I was feeling myself getting overstimulated, and I was getting very hot and I was shaking. So I just ran away and went home crying. I feel very stupid for doing that, and I know a lot of people will read all of this and think I'm pathetic/making a mountain out of a mole hill, but I know if I had sat down and gone ahead with the lesson I would've been crying while sitting at a desk in a brightly lit room full of complete strangers, which would've been really horrible.
The easiest thing to do would be to just switch to some humanities course and try my best not to write crappy essays. I am a little concerned about doing 3 subjects in one semester that require me to write essays, though, because that is a really big workload and it's already difficult enough to manage just my degree course with my attention issues. I also really enjoy this subject, it's one of my special interests so it's sad that I have to drop it. If this course was just theory and no practical I'd be fine.
Another annoying thing is if I switch to a different course and have the same problems, or have workload problems, then I'm just screwed and have to put up with it for the semester, and I'm not allowed to change courses again. It's all very unfair. I have until the end of next week to make a decision, anyway.
Has anyone else had this experience? Also, are there any humanities/social sciences courses that yous would recommend? I'm not really sure what I should choose, or if another social science is even a good idea given the workload problem. I will definitely speak to someone at uni but I thought I would make a post here too because responses will probably be quicker + I'm feeling a bit lonely.