Is a relationship like this even considered healthy

If someone says “No it’s up to you whether you give attention or not if you don’t it doesn’t bother me if you do doesn’t bother me either”.

is that really a relationship then? If you dont want attention.. Unless theyre a people pleaser or a bit shy and they cant convey their emotions. Even still its a bit weird

If someone says “No it’s up to you whether you give attention or not if you don’t it doesn’t bother me if you do doesn’t bother me either”.

More context needed...

So for example I’m just naturally loving and affectionate and I love keeping her happy and smiling in joy and laughter if I were to give a numerous load of mini tiny kisses for example, be and act silly for fun obviously but for her to smile and be in joy whilst she’s in my lap and within my presence. Wouldn’t you think that they should be appreciative and like grateful for them to be on the end of it. Or for example, like if we are not communicating throughout the day or at a point we are stood apart she’s sat somewhere else or like just a FaceTime call. And just in general really going back to the thread

So for example I’m just naturally loving and affectionate and I love keeping her happy and smiling in joy and laughter if I were to give a numerous load of mini tiny kisses for example, be and act silly for fun obviously but for her to smile and be in joy whilst she’s in my lap and within my presence. Wouldn’t you think that they should be appreciative and like grateful for them to be on the end of it. Or for example, like if we are not communicating throughout the day or at a point we are stood apart she’s sat somewhere else or like just a FaceTime call. And just in general really going back to the thread

At the start and throughout our relationship we’ve always trusted each other and just for the sake of it since it’s something we’d always agree upon we’d have each other location on our phone and socials but recently she’s either switched hers off or gone into ghost mode I said why do you do that if I keep mine on she was like I don’t have to if I don’t want to and then she said you can switch yours off if you want. But it would never have been something for her to say initially or ever until now

That kind of smothering would drive me nuts, especially in public! Not everybody likes or wants that kind of thing. It also seems a bit "off" when you say that you expect gratitude for it. Perhaps you need to examine your own motives before criticising your girlfriend.

Also, COMMUNICATE! Try asking her what she actually likes, and maybe then she will feel more comfortable about returning your affection.

She should be appreciative of the small things you do for her and she should be giving you the same attention you give to her. If she neglects you and your feelings then that's not okay and you might have to reconsider how she feels about you

I would pick and drop her off to like uni/work/home she didn’t have a problem everytime she finished work I would either bought food or buy her food, I arranged a open day for her to see at campus, working experiences within law firms even potentially her getting her first job in her career helped her towards it, when she would have a headache or migraine or feeling sick she’d rest against my chest, I’d ensure her medicine were took or I’d carry some when she’d need it when she can’t sleep we’d sleep on call we would FaceTime.

So just tiny kisses on the face whilst sat on a bench together and she decides to sit on my lap isn’t considered cute and just purely out of love and how much love I have is shown through the affection I give to her. Having some banter but seeing her smile in joy and laugh even giggle is wrong and that’s not something loving. Like how does that type of attention do anything.

Personally, I don't think it is cute at all, either to be on the receiving end or to be a passer-by forced to see it. But that is my point; not everybody likes it. You are still focussed entirely on what you want and are not even asking her what she wants. Again, try actually communicating with her so that affection can be mutually enjoyable.

If someone says “No it’s up to you whether you give attention or not if you don’t it doesn’t bother me if you do doesn’t bother me either”.

Yeah she would always say that I have cuteness aggression and cuteness overload. And that it takes two for a relationship for it to be dedicated, committed and effort coming from both ends.

you are a nice guy , she isn't
do yourself a favour and don't be in a relationship with her if she is not involved