Weird

It was late afternoon. I was combing my hair when the ninjas attacked. There were 60 black ninjas in my bathroom. Uncomfortable, I said "this isn't gay at all" and then the ninjas died.

I was quite fatigued from the experience...so I ordered some pizza. I was confused on what to get as a topping, but I decided to go with something ******. I don't even remember what it was, but it was ******. I was not enjoying my ****** snack when I heard some noise from outside. There was a woman getting raped. The only logical thing to do was to grab my phone. I dialed frantically.

"HEYYYYY SUP CHRIS, DUDE THERE'S SOME CHICK OUTSIDE MY HOUSE GETTING TOTALLY TOOK."
"WORD? WOW DOG I HOPE HE DON'T FINISH TOO FAST"

And then, it happened.

A dead rat fell from a building. It was a suicide. I wanted to rush and take care of it. So I ran to it, its eyes beckoning to me. I would have moved faster, but that chick kept making noise and obstructed my path. But eventually I got to it. It was already dead. Etched on its stiff tail was his name...Doctor Nibbles Sorensen XIII. A doctor. Young, too.

* * *

After witnessing this terrible event, I decided to study the dark ways of ruining jokes and intentionally horrible presentation. I think I have honed my skills in the field, as no one seems to do what I was trying to get them to do when I make long posts. Quite frequently they dismiss the posts as those specifically designed to anger them, which is not my purpose. I have other sites for that. Other sites...in which the very mentioning of "RARE STEAK IS ******* DISGUSTING", "I LOVE PLAYING WOW", "WHY DON'T I HAVE A GIRLFRIEND YET" and "CHECK OUT MY GIRLFRIEND'S ASS. JEALOUS?" would get me the attention that I love so much.

One is not amused.