I'm worth nothing
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Original post by Anonymous
People never seem to care much about me. I try hard with everything and everyone as much as I can and still I'm just this useless, worthless idiot that can't even hold onto friends. I've never realised how few people care about me, and I don't know what I'm doing to push them away but it hurts so, so much. I feel like crying all the time because I'm so alone, I feel like if I were to run into the road tonight no one would care about me and if I was gone. No matter what I do for someone and how much I help them, they just couldn't give a crap about me. They use me and it's over. I can't do another year of this before I leave here, I keep hanging onto the past and feeling hurt all the time and I don't know how to stop the cycle. What am I doing wrong? Why doesn't anyone care about how I feel? Why don't people just acknowledge me as a person? 
Life is ****.
I could lie, but I think you have already found that out for yourself.
So stop caring so much about other people.
Do something with your life for gods sake. Get a job, move abroad, do something good instead of mopping about how people ignore you. If you don't life for yourself to begin with then you are only going to get depressed.
Original post by innerhollow
My inbox is always open to anyone...
Oops accidental neg. Damn touchscreen. Sorry
Oops accidental neg. Damn touchscreen. Sorry
Oh right! :L I was thinking "imbecile" when I saw it, but don't worry
(it did take 4 rep points of though O_O)
You can always talk to me if you want. And remember, everybody is worth something to somebody
I'm very surprised just how benevolent and altruistic The Student Room is, it is warming to see how many people actually do care for the members on this forum: Which makes a change from other forums which all have the hostility of "Grow up!"
But, I won't do that because I've had my moments feeling like you. I tumbled into a depression last year and it was only at the turn of the year am I starting to mop up my mess.
My problem was this obsessive desire to make and prioritise friends, but became frustrated that they weren't treating me with the same care back I felt depressed that whilst they prioritised others a lot of them boycotted me, despite their insistence that they are my friend.
At the time I don't believe I was being obsessive, it seemed right to ask to improve our friendships and for them to keep in regular touch. But I never got that, and if I remember at one point screaming at one of my friends to pick between my brother and myself - It really was that bad!
I believed under a flawed logic the more friends I made the more people I could fall back on, but this only esculated the problem. I ignored my girlfriend at the time who insisted it was better to keep a smaller, closer-knit group of friends than it was to be bloated and swelled by them. I wish I did listen, because making new friends, which turned out to be unmanagable, made me feel shoddy.
However I believed making newer friends whilst cutting and rearranging my old ones and prioritising the smaller group I really do care about will be my best interest, because at least then they knows of my backstory. If I can try and suppress this jealous streak, there should be no problem.
But to answer your question, if you managed to see through that ramble, is that to find someone who will give you their time of day any day is actually very few and far between. I find I have to keep goading friends for it to continue, and this seems hardly fair. If you can make friends who are local try and keep this intimacy going. You do have some genuine altrustistic people in society... But to find them is difficult.
Make friends, by all means because from what I've read I really do believe you need someone who will be very very close to you. Everybody has some sort of potential. Nobody is ever worthless, and like most commenters on this thread you are very welcome to drop me an email. I'm benevolent & altruistic so I take great delight in problem solving people's problems and trying to work out people.
Chad.
But, I won't do that because I've had my moments feeling like you. I tumbled into a depression last year and it was only at the turn of the year am I starting to mop up my mess.
My problem was this obsessive desire to make and prioritise friends, but became frustrated that they weren't treating me with the same care back I felt depressed that whilst they prioritised others a lot of them boycotted me, despite their insistence that they are my friend.
At the time I don't believe I was being obsessive, it seemed right to ask to improve our friendships and for them to keep in regular touch. But I never got that, and if I remember at one point screaming at one of my friends to pick between my brother and myself - It really was that bad!
I believed under a flawed logic the more friends I made the more people I could fall back on, but this only esculated the problem. I ignored my girlfriend at the time who insisted it was better to keep a smaller, closer-knit group of friends than it was to be bloated and swelled by them. I wish I did listen, because making new friends, which turned out to be unmanagable, made me feel shoddy.
However I believed making newer friends whilst cutting and rearranging my old ones and prioritising the smaller group I really do care about will be my best interest, because at least then they knows of my backstory. If I can try and suppress this jealous streak, there should be no problem.
But to answer your question, if you managed to see through that ramble, is that to find someone who will give you their time of day any day is actually very few and far between. I find I have to keep goading friends for it to continue, and this seems hardly fair. If you can make friends who are local try and keep this intimacy going. You do have some genuine altrustistic people in society... But to find them is difficult.
Make friends, by all means because from what I've read I really do believe you need someone who will be very very close to you. Everybody has some sort of potential. Nobody is ever worthless, and like most commenters on this thread you are very welcome to drop me an email. I'm benevolent & altruistic so I take great delight in problem solving people's problems and trying to work out people.
Chad.
Original post by Tentaclebrain
I get it, believe me. You need to realise that being too susceptible to the opinions/actions of other people is never good in the long run, because most people will take advantage. School playground mentality. You have to take this and learn from it, develop yourself, become more independent and therefore more confident. Then, you'll most likely find friends anyway who are more on your wavelength. It sounds cold and impossible, people who are depressed never fully understand it when they're being told something/given advice, you're just going to have to figure it out yourself. Honest advice and it's the best way Good luck
Good lucki agree with this, especially the last part.
it has been said that depression is what happens to fear when one has given up. and people that have given up will always find the wisdom of pep talks difficult to take on board.
Original post by Redreynard
haha!
you want to canoe up the amazon. a fantastic ambition.
but right now what you aiming for? a groovy university??
you want to canoe up the amazon. a fantastic ambition.
but right now what you aiming for? a groovy university??
my list of priorities state the grroovy univeristy first, only then can i canoe up the amazon!! :P
I used to feel like you, OP. Over the years, friends have come and gone, I've bent over backwatds to make them happy - organised things and made a fuss of birthdays and made cakes, bought Christmas gifts, helped people out with a place to stay, tried to be a good friend, been a shoulder for them to cry on et cetera et cetera..
Now I'm older, I see most friendships as the superficial shams they are. Of course there are exceptions to the rule for others, but for example, nobody has ever organised anything for my birthday, it just passes me by unmarked every year, and I've spent the last 2 Christmases by myself. When I was diagnosed with early cancer last year, it was as though they'd all fallen off of the edge of the earth. I didn't get a call from anybody - it took 3 weeks to get over my surgery and not one of them came to see me or even asked how I was. If you ask me, people are selfish pricks. Everybody's out to get as much as they can for themselves, and now I treat friendships as casually as you like, I try not to care too much about anybody, and I'm much happier this way!
Now I'm older, I see most friendships as the superficial shams they are. Of course there are exceptions to the rule for others, but for example, nobody has ever organised anything for my birthday, it just passes me by unmarked every year, and I've spent the last 2 Christmases by myself. When I was diagnosed with early cancer last year, it was as though they'd all fallen off of the edge of the earth. I didn't get a call from anybody - it took 3 weeks to get over my surgery and not one of them came to see me or even asked how I was. If you ask me, people are selfish pricks. Everybody's out to get as much as they can for themselves, and now I treat friendships as casually as you like, I try not to care too much about anybody, and I'm much happier this way!
Original post by zammie1603
Yup but it's life. I think the only people who have been there for me are my family. This is sooo embarassing, but once me and my friend had an argument and I went to her house and cried and apologised & then we made up but then kind of split apart again.
& then my other friend told me that my two 'bestest friends ever' were saying that I was a slut and would expose myself on webcam. & I couldn't help but cry more! All that for 'friends forever'
& then my other friend told me that my two 'bestest friends ever' were saying that I was a slut and would expose myself on webcam. & I couldn't help but cry more! All that for 'friends forever'
God! :| Who needs enemy's when you have friends like that, hey?
The only people I trust are my family, and if I can't tell my mum anything then I tell my boyfriend. My boyfriend is actually my best friend, if we ever fall out we do anything to get back friends again (by 'friends again' I mean back to being normal and making up after arguments ect, but we'll never actually 'split up' as such, just be angry at one another)
We go shopping together (sometimes HE'S the one to drag me out shopping :|), we go out together, go on holidays to random places, we do everything, it's brilliant having your boyfriend be your best friend
Better than the bitching of having girl friends.I wish I was born a lad, they just fight and then they're back mates again. Girls just none stop bitch behind people's backs. I've also written myself a new 'Life Rules' list for September as well. One of the rules are 'no bitching....no matter what! Keep all bad thoughts to yourself' let's see how long it lasts
I never nastily bitch though, more like 'gossip'. I never understand what goes on through somebodies head either when they start a rumour, it's so so sad!Original post by Anonymous
I used to feel like you, OP. Over the years, friends have come and gone, I've bent over backwatds to make them happy - organised things and made a fuss of birthdays and made cakes, bought Christmas gifts, helped people out with a place to stay, tried to be a good friend, been a shoulder for them to cry on et cetera et cetera..
Now I'm older, I see most friendships as the superficial shams they are. Of course there are exceptions to the rule for others, but for example, nobody has ever organised anything for my birthday, it just passes me by unmarked every year, and I've spent the last 2 Christmases by myself. When I was diagnosed with early cancer last year, it was as though they'd all fallen off of the edge of the earth. I didn't get a call from anybody - it took 3 weeks to get over my surgery and not one of them came to see me or even asked how I was. If you ask me, people are selfish pricks. Everybody's out to get as much as they can for themselves, and now I treat friendships as casually as you like, I try not to care too much about anybody, and I'm much happier this way!
Now I'm older, I see most friendships as the superficial shams they are. Of course there are exceptions to the rule for others, but for example, nobody has ever organised anything for my birthday, it just passes me by unmarked every year, and I've spent the last 2 Christmases by myself. When I was diagnosed with early cancer last year, it was as though they'd all fallen off of the edge of the earth. I didn't get a call from anybody - it took 3 weeks to get over my surgery and not one of them came to see me or even asked how I was. If you ask me, people are selfish pricks. Everybody's out to get as much as they can for themselves, and now I treat friendships as casually as you like, I try not to care too much about anybody, and I'm much happier this way!
This actually made me really sad
What heartless b*****ds!Original post by Anonymous
People never seem to care much about me. I try hard with everything and everyone as much as I can and still I'm just this useless, worthless idiot that can't even hold onto friends. I've never realised how few people care about me, and I don't know what I'm doing to push them away but it hurts so, so much. I feel like crying all the time because I'm so alone, I feel like if I were to run into the road tonight no one would care about me and if I was gone. No matter what I do for someone and how much I help them, they just couldn't give a crap about me. They use me and it's over. I can't do another year of this before I leave here, I keep hanging onto the past and feeling hurt all the time and I don't know how to stop the cycle. What am I doing wrong? Why doesn't anyone care about how I feel? Why don't people just acknowledge me as a person?
Now I'm not mid-revision and I have time to make a proper reply xD
Anyway OP, you aren't useless and you definitely aren't worthless. The more you think that, the less confident in yourself you will be, and the less likely people will be to talk to you. You probably aren't doing anything to push them away, but a lot of people are selfish, and don't take time to consider the consequences of their actions on others. And you're right, people will use you- but you have to stand up for yourself and not allow yourself to be used. I was in exactly the same situation two years ago, so I have first-hand experience. And you aren't doing anything wrong.
Also, if you feel like crying, you should have a good cry. Get yourself a tub of ice-cream and a friend and have a good moan, you'll feel better! Honest! xD And if you ever need a shoulder to cry on (albeit a virtual one), I'll respect your anonymity so either PM me on here or e-mail me (I think you can get my e-mail address off my contact details on my user page), and I'll talk things through with you
Because I'm guessing you're at a stressful stage in life with school/sixth form/uni whatever you are doing, and to be honest, if we get rid of this worry for you, there will be less of a burden on your mind when you are doing exams and such Wishing you the best,
Jake
I recognise very well where the the OP is coming from, I am in a similar situation myself. I skipped the last few years of school due to personal circumstances and I only have one friend that I knew from preschool although he is a good friend he has his own circle of friends so it is not fair to rely on him. Therefore, I need to make more friends, but meeting people these days is so very hard.
There is a lot of negativity in this thread in regards to friendships saying that they are worthless etc, they are not worthless, you just have to find the right people that are worth being friends with. In my life people have come and gone, 'potential' friends as I like to call them, they were always happy to chat although they never really seemed interested in calling me or wanting to meet up with me or anything. I don't want much from life compared to a lot of people, all I want is to have a modest group of trust worthy friends that I can sit in my room and chill with, like you see in the movies.
A lot of people just seem to be indifferent these days, no one really seems to like me, either that or they are just mental vegetables that only carry out the basic functions day to day. I'm quite sociable so for me it is very hard coping with this situation, but it's been the same all of my life so I have gotten used to it even though I don't like it. If you can meet decent people that have got you're back then you are very lucky. Don't give up though, be generally sociable and just enjoy chatting to people instead of really worrying about making them a friend.
There is a lot of negativity in this thread in regards to friendships saying that they are worthless etc, they are not worthless, you just have to find the right people that are worth being friends with. In my life people have come and gone, 'potential' friends as I like to call them, they were always happy to chat although they never really seemed interested in calling me or wanting to meet up with me or anything. I don't want much from life compared to a lot of people, all I want is to have a modest group of trust worthy friends that I can sit in my room and chill with, like you see in the movies.
A lot of people just seem to be indifferent these days, no one really seems to like me, either that or they are just mental vegetables that only carry out the basic functions day to day. I'm quite sociable so for me it is very hard coping with this situation, but it's been the same all of my life so I have gotten used to it even though I don't like it. If you can meet decent people that have got you're back then you are very lucky. Don't give up though, be generally sociable and just enjoy chatting to people instead of really worrying about making them a friend.
opps, so you finally found out? Your father and I were kinda hoping that you would get the news sooner. Guess you are more stupid than I had innitially thought.
its all in ur mind. man up and have some confidance
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