Open Relationships - Would you have one?

Please can you explain how it takes 3 people to complete you when most people are perfectly happy with just one. Sounds more like you're uncertain as to what you want and instead of taking the time to discover yourself, you're throwing yourself into a ridiculous situation.

First of all, I love both genders and I can't just be with one gender for the rest of my life.

Secondly, the two gfs like different things. One of them works as a doctor and brings bread on the table. The other one loves adventure and camping dates are very romantic.

It's better than on-off serial monogamy. That was a disaster and being poly actually gave me peace of mind, knowing the higher divorce rates of today. I don't want to be a guy who leaves his wife for someone better and repeat the process until I'm old and wrinkly.

No, you don't love both genders, you like both genders, for the sake of this argument lets not confuse what we mean by love.

So one of your gf's keeps you financially happy, the other one you enjoy being around. ****ing hell, the fact that one is a doctor and is little more than financing someone for sex is terrifying.

The problem here is that you clearly can't deal with being on your own, and won't wait until you find the right person that ticks all the boxes. How on earth does being poly help ease your mind over divorce rates? Surely it means your relationship is more expendable than others because none of the people involved like the other person enough to be truly loyal

You're going to have a hell of a shock one day when you wake up and neither one are around. You also clearly have no idea what love is. You really think enough women would want you that you'd be able to constantly upgrade? Wow, I think you need to come back down to earth...

The trouble is that there's no one in this earth who has a penis, vagina, breasts, is attractive to me, actually wants me, is a good mother and can have children. Being poly eases the going outside of the relationship bit. I'm selfish like that.

I know what I want and I have all my needs fulfilled. That will only change if I find the ideal bi-gendered person who can have children. Sounds scary? That's because even the thought of that person makes me shudder, though she would fulfill my needs.

Love, to me, is staying commited in the relationship, don't date anyone without the full approval of everyone involved and not leaving the relationship when someone better comes along. Under monogamy, my gf and I both suffered from this "someone better" problem. We both even fell for the same girl.

Look, I'm not going to convince you that my alternative lifestyle makes sense. Let's just agree to disagree

I don't want him being with other people, and i'm not staying single and waiting for him to come back when he's decided he wants to settle down either. It's really depressing me because i'm satisfied with him and have no interest in any form of open relationship or bringing others in to our love life, it actually makes no sense to me why someone would want this? Is it a guy thing or something?

Other than a penis, I'm quite sure that out of billions of women at least one will tick that box...Again, sounds like you just can't cope with being on your own.

So your ideal woman makes you shudder? Wow, I think you should talk to a professional because that's not a normal reaction to have...

How can you be committed if you are ****ing another person?! If you suffered from the "someone better" problem how about you be single until that person comes along? This isn't rocket science but you act like without a relationship you couldn't exist...

You alternative lifestyle sounds like a byproduct of a lot of emotional problems. As a word of warning, if you don't sort that **** out sooner rather than later, it will probably destroy your life.

I could never have one, tbh. I'm too jealous and paranoid a person to share any potential lover with anyone else <img src="images/smilies/tongue.png" border="0" alt="" title="" smilieid="5" class="inlineimg" />

Good on you, me too.

Well, I'm sorry but thinking of a bi-gendered woman with man and woman parts...makes me shudder.

Commitment in polyamory is making a life together, not sexual exclusivity.

Serial monogamy virtually almost destroyed my life. I jumped from person to person, expecting that they would fully complete me. It's been 8 years and no one person has completed me. I had an option - either accept that I'm not going to find "the one" or forever search for "the one" while boning half the people in London. So you're saying that I should be all alone because I haven't found the one?

And that a happy and ongoing relationship (2 and a half years, and counting) should be broken off?

I'm sorry, but you really do not know anything about polyamory so I'm not going to waste my fingers in trying to convince you otherwise. This is my last reply to you on this topic.

Wow this man just hit the nail on the head! You see how these poly types gradually expose themselves the more they post, theres always some deep underlying issue or trauma that causes them to behave this way. It's not normal behaviour, I know of no emotionally stable people in poly relationships. Usually they are people with psychological issues, social outcasts who want to be different and go againt social norms or bi/pan types who are very confused. Well done cracking the case geoking.

So my boyfriend of two years asked me earlier what my thoughts on open relationships are, I told him I wouldn't want one now he's trying to convince me to have one, he thinks it will add more excitement to our realationship. What are your views on open relationships? If your partner asked you for one would you agree to it? I'm very confused right now and not sure what to do.