How long to give a guy space for
My boyfriend has asked for space we haven't spoken in three days and it's tearing me apart
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Original post by Anonymous
My boyfriend has asked for space we haven't spoken in three days and it's tearing me apart
You're f****d!!!! Get a new bf
Posted from TSR Mobile
Although I know it's hard, just wait to see if he makes contact with you. Personally, if I hadn't heard from him in, say, a couple of weeks, I would try to make contact (or break things off, depending on the circumstances).
(edited 9 years ago)
Don't contact him, wait for him to get in touch with you.
I would recommend waiting for him to get back to you, I'm sure he will. I know it's hard, but just hang it there 
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by shawn_o1
Easy, don't contact him until he does
What if that isn't for like over a month
Original post by Anonymous
What if that isn't for like over a month
Then he's decided to break up. Sorry but some people aren't so upfront about it
Original post by CherryWine
Don't contact him, wait for him to get in touch with you.
How long should I be waiting exactly it could be a month or more before he talks to me again
In this kind of situation you have two options.
1. Give him his space as asked for, any attempt at contact will simply make him feel under siege, and push him away. This is why a wavering partner asks for space. The outcome is he'll either contact you or not.
2. Wait for as long as you feel is reasonable (whether that be 5 more minutes or a month!), and if you can't wait any longer than throw down an ultimatum. Make-up or break-up.
This option will in all likelihood lead to a break-up, but it's the only real course of action for someone not comfortable with waiting for his decision, and you have a right to have closure on the matter one way or another.
Either way sounds like it will be hard for you, but those are your choices. Either you play along with his game until he decides or you can make a decision for yourself and wish him the best and go on your merry way, or in the slim chance he reacts to your ultimatum by getting back with you, continue on in 'relationship bliss'.
Best of luck OP, tbh I'd personally prepare myself for the split, since in my world a maybe is worth as much as a no.
1. Give him his space as asked for, any attempt at contact will simply make him feel under siege, and push him away. This is why a wavering partner asks for space. The outcome is he'll either contact you or not.
2. Wait for as long as you feel is reasonable (whether that be 5 more minutes or a month!), and if you can't wait any longer than throw down an ultimatum. Make-up or break-up.
This option will in all likelihood lead to a break-up, but it's the only real course of action for someone not comfortable with waiting for his decision, and you have a right to have closure on the matter one way or another.
Either way sounds like it will be hard for you, but those are your choices. Either you play along with his game until he decides or you can make a decision for yourself and wish him the best and go on your merry way, or in the slim chance he reacts to your ultimatum by getting back with you, continue on in 'relationship bliss'.
Best of luck OP, tbh I'd personally prepare myself for the split, since in my world a maybe is worth as much as a no.
Original post by Anonymous
How long should I be waiting exactly it could be a month or more before he talks to me again
However long it takes, if he hasn't spoken to you in a month then he has probably decided he doesn't want to be in the relationship anymore, he should contact you before that long though out of respect.
Original post by Studentus-anonymous
2. Wait for as long as you feel is reasonable (whether that be 5 more minutes or a month!), and if you can't wait any longer than throw down an ultimatum. Make-up or break-up.
2. Wait for as long as you feel is reasonable (whether that be 5 more minutes or a month!), and if you can't wait any longer than throw down an ultimatum. Make-up or break-up.
Seeing as he asked for space, it's up to him how "reasonable" the amount of time before contact is made again is, no? I've never heard of a guy asking for space, so I can only assume that OP ****ed up royally in order to warrant this kind of action.
Respect the mans' space. You know how annoying it is when a girl wants space but the guy texts her every few hours to ask if she's ok and when they'll be talking again (I'm going be second-hand information here, what with not being a chick and all)? Don't be that guy.
It's only been 3 days, chill yo beans.
Thank you I've decided I'll wait maximum a month then if he hasn't spoken to me I'll say something
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you I've decided I'll wait maximum a month then if he hasn't spoken to me I'll say something
**** that, if he hasn't spoken to you in a month then just concentrate on moving on.
Original post by CherryWine
**** that, if he hasn't spoken to you in a month then just concentrate on moving on.
I have things I need to get back so I meant I'll say something like "you've not spoken to me in an entire month I wanna get my stuff back and let's never speak again"
Original post by Anonymous
I have things I need to get back so I meant I'll say something like "you've not spoken to me in an entire month I wanna get my stuff back and let's never speak again"
Oh right, yeah that sounds good
hopefully it doesn't come to that though You are getiing some good varied advice here.I understand you are hurting emotionally. But get out with your friends distract yourself, avoid dwelling on him while you are out. If and when he decides to come back you will have a better perpective on how you feel about him.
Original post by Anonymous
My boyfriend has asked for space we haven't spoken in three days and it's tearing me apart
This happened to me and I know its heart breaking. I eventually got him to talk to me by talking to his mum (not about him not talking/wanting space) and she must have mentioned it. I told him bluntly how I was feeling and he was just in a mood. As simple as that but he realised it wasn't fair on me. He always apologises for it because some times guys (and girls) just get irritable. Him needing space is probably him trying to not let his mood affect you. Obviously it's had adverse effects.
I don't think you'll ever forget this (I haven't) but your relationship will be stronger the other side.
Original post by Drunk Punx
Seeing as he asked for space, it's up to him how "reasonable" the amount of time before contact is made again is, no? I've never heard of a guy asking for space, so I can only assume that OP ****ed up royally in order to warrant this kind of action.
Respect the mans' space. You know how annoying it is when a girl wants space but the guy texts her every few hours to ask if she's ok and when they'll be talking again (I'm going be second-hand information here, what with not being a chick and all)? Don't be that guy.
It's only been 3 days, chill yo beans.
Respect the mans' space. You know how annoying it is when a girl wants space but the guy texts her every few hours to ask if she's ok and when they'll be talking again (I'm going be second-hand information here, what with not being a chick and all)? Don't be that guy.
It's only been 3 days, chill yo beans.
Your right she should respect his space.
But there's two people involved here. If she isn't comfortable living in limbo (and let's not make assumptions on what has happened) then that is just as legitimate as his desire for space.
If she can wait, then wait, but if she can't then it's not reasonable for her to wait and torture herself while he does his own thing indefinitely.
She can chose to make the decision for them both. As I said, a maybe tends to just be a feeble no anyway.
Space is fine and dandy but so is making a commitment or not. *shrug*
Up to the OP and her guy.
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