Hi, some maybe necessary history.
With the exception of a drunken mutual fellatio at 16 I've always had sex with and lusted after women.
Due to a lack of confidence I didn't lose my virginity till my mid-twenties, to an escort. Then two years later after using dating sites I gained a little confidence and slept with eight women in a one year period some from work, some from t'web , during which my erections were mostly fine, then there was another massive self-esteem crash and so no sex for two years. Since then my erections have always been weak to non-existent, only becoming wankable if watching shemale or crossdresser porn (which I've always watched). I then had sex (was just hard enough) with a shemale escort a few months ago, which I suppose was fine. Her penis was nice enough but I was more attracted to the breast implants, long hair and other female features.
The thing is now I can only I become (somewhat) aroused by either watching shemale/CD porn or imagining myself as a women getting banged by guys. The knob does arouse me, and the thought of being penetrated and giving blow-jobs, but I'm not really attracted to guys faces or bodies and don't have much of a desire to kiss a guy. When I see a woman who's my type in the street I can get that swoony, lovey 'yum' feeling, like I want to kiss them, but there is nothing happening in my trousers. The same when I watch porn with just women in it. Pussy does nothing for me anymore. Back in the day women got me as hard as Krupp steel. Even my erections with transsexual/gay/as a woman fantasies are not that strong but they're the only things that work.
I don't know if this is linked to a return of low self esteem (the being submissive in bed to guys) or if I'm actually just gay or a bit trans. I wouldn't have a problem being labeled gay or bisexual, but I'm just really not sure what's going on or how to proceed from here. Ta.