So this is an experience that starts back in Year 10 and has carried on in phases throughout school until going to uni.
I fancied my best friend's sister, Sarah, who's just a year below me, but as I stand today, I really don't know what she thinks or thought of me.
When I first started fancying her, I got an impression she fancied me too. One of the first things that happened was when I was in Year 10 (and Year 9 for her) it was an assembly and I was at the front with someone and we had to throw out chocolates to some people, and she was sitting in the front row and mimed to me “give some to me” and so I did. I later asked her on Facebook if she enjoyed it and she said yes and thanked me. Starting with that, we used to talk on Facebook a few times and have really friendly conversations which I would always start.
Once at my friend's house for a campout, I was alone in the tent out in the garden, and I could have sworn I heard a young, feminine voice saying my name twice from inside the house (and she is the only other child). Later, when passing her inside, Sarah gave me this really friendly, wide smile. One time I even got a message from her account saying "I LOVEEEE YOU!". I thanked her for saying that, thinking she'd written it, but I didn't mention anything on how I also felt out of embarrassment. She responded saying that a friend had gone on her account and written it instead, but I found it odd why it was targeted specifically at me. Around this period, she also looked at me a few times when walking past her in school, and at one point she was coming down some stairs and I was standing at the bottom waiting to go to my lesson, and her eyes literally kept darting back and forth from me as she walked from the stairs but she wasn't showing any facial expressions. It was like she was trying to be inconspicuous about it.
However, as time went on we seemed to drift apart. Our conversations became shorter as her responses were more vague and brief, almost as if she didn’t really want to talk, and so I messaged her less and less, every time with the same types of response, until I stopped. She also stopped looking at me when we passed, at which point I thought she didn't like me back and I just left it as it was and moved on. I didn’t really think about it after that as we had totally zero contact for a long while, thinking she felt nothing towards me, but then some other odd stuff happened.
One time in the Library, now in Year 13 and Sarah in Year 12, I was sitting at a computer on one side. Her friend was working at a computer on the opposite side and one away from me. Sarah then came in and started talking to her friend. After 20 seconds or so, for some reason the friend logged off and then they both moved round to my side, with Sarah sitting on the computer right next to me. What I found strange was that they didn't really need to move at all as there was a computer next to her friend on the other side. We said nothing, but it still seemed odd, and it never happened again either.
Then after several more months of nothing happening, I was standing outside her form room as my form was having a quiz with hers (I didn’t know it was her form at the time, though), and as she came up to the door and went in, she glanced at me and said "hi" to me, and I said “hi” back, and this was the first time she'd ever spoken to me in person.
A week or so later I followed her on Twitter, but nothing happened for a while whilst she remained continuously active online. In the meantime, we again had no contact for a few weeks until I went to another friend’s party. She was there with one of her guy friends (they are just as they’ve known each other a long time) and for most of the night she was hanging out with him, but at one point as I was talking to my friend, Sarah came up to talk to him and then whilst there she said “hi” to me and asked how I was. Despite her talking to me, the whole conversation for some reason felt really awkward between us and it quickly tailed off (but at least she made the effort to talk). I then just saw her and her guy friend hanging out at the party for the rest of the night and again thought there was no chance of her liking me, although she glanced at me a few times at the party since that encounter, which was a first after a long time.
Following on, several weeks after I initially followed her on Twitter, and a good week after the party, she followed me back. Thing is I don’t understand why it took her so long to do it if she was going to anyway, and why then?
Finally, after I'd left school I sent her a message just wishing her luck for her final school year and whatever she did afterward, and she sent back an enthusiastic short paragraph thanking me and briefly asking me what I was doing, and when I told her about the uni I would go to she said "Sounds fab, I'm sure you'll really enjoy it!". I got Instagram soon after and I followed her and this time she followed back straight away. I stayed over at my friend's days before I went to uni and saw her very briefly then and she said "hi" and possibly asked how I was, but that was it really. She didn't stick around long as she was doing something. She's liked the odd post I've put up on Instagram but since starting uni we've not had any contact at all.
I've just started thinking about the whole scenario recently even though there's not really much point pursuing it anymore. I basically don’t understand whether or not she likes me, or had at one point liked me, or what she even thinks of me generally, after all these years of strange events that have been going on. Maybe perhaps she used to like me and then went off me when I didn’t do anything, or if that were the case, maybe recently she’d started thinking about me again? Maybe she’s always liked me but we just drifted apart because neither of us wanted to do anything, or maybe she never had any feelings for me and I’ve been getting the wrong idea all this time? I just don’t know what to think. Based off all this do you have any ideas? I'm just curious to hear other opinions about it.