Original post by AnonymousMy gf and I have been together for about 6 months.
After about a month and a half of "seeing" one another, she asked that we become exclusive, and things seemed to be going really well. Then, all of a sudden, she stopped messaging me completely for about 4 days.
Eventually, we met up and things went back to normal, better even. I was confused but decided to let it slide. This being my first relationship, I didn't openly discuss it with her, and didn't know how to act in response, so I simply gave her space and let her get back in contact.
After a good few weeks, she again went cold on me. We still messaged and hung out, but she was constantly on her phone and didn't seem bothered at all by my presence. I know I shouldn't have done, but I read some entries in her diary, as I was completely confused. Turns out that, in spite of asking that we become exclusive, she had kissed another guy for about an hour at a party, and was considering getting together with him and leaving me.
At this point, I asked whether she was actually into me, and told her that if she wasn't we could call it a day, no hard feelings. She claimed that we hadn't been in a formal relationship, and didn't think I was bothered - in fairness I wasn't putting in the effort in terms of messaging etc. But we had still agreed to be exclusive prior to this...
I now find it incredibly hard to trust her - particularly since she opened up about cheating on her last boyfriend and feeling no guilt for it. As a result, I have found myself checking her enties again, albeit only on occasion. In spite of things going really well, and her telling me, in the strongest terms, how much I mean to her, she has written a few times that she is afraid of cheating on me at upcoming festivals etc. In a way, I feel justified by doing this, considering her actions, but wonder whether it makes me a terrible person?