Dad still treating me like a boy
So I'm almost 27 (turning 27 next month) and I just told I'm going to get a haircut, he says "no, no, no" don't get your haircut on Saturday, we have to go to Manchester at 10 (my haircut would have finished at 9 and I the hairdressers only 2 mins car ride away).
I look like a a right d!ick and today photo's are going to be taken and put on Facebook.
This angers me, what gives him the right to tell me what to do,? I respect him however my sister can do whatever she wants, when I was younger my sister could do whatever she wants and he told me sometimes you have to sacrifice your life for others.
He got annoyed last week and said your 26 and not married and no one will marry you if you are 29.
I look like a a right d!ick and today photo's are going to be taken and put on Facebook.
This angers me, what gives him the right to tell me what to do,? I respect him however my sister can do whatever she wants, when I was younger my sister could do whatever she wants and he told me sometimes you have to sacrifice your life for others.
He got annoyed last week and said your 26 and not married and no one will marry you if you are 29.
Original post by Anonymous
So I'm almost 27 (turning 27 next month) and I just told I'm going to get a haircut, he says "no, no, no" don't get your haircut on Saturday, we have to go to Manchester at 10 (my haircut would have finished at 9 and I the hairdressers only 2 mins car ride away).
I look like a a right d!ick and today photo's are going to be taken and put on Facebook.
This angers me, what gives him the right to tell me what to do,? I respect him however my sister can do whatever she wants, when I was younger my sister could do whatever she wants and he told me sometimes you have to sacrifice your life for others.
He got annoyed last week and said your 26 and not married and no one will marry you if you are 29.
I look like a a right d!ick and today photo's are going to be taken and put on Facebook.
This angers me, what gives him the right to tell me what to do,? I respect him however my sister can do whatever she wants, when I was younger my sister could do whatever she wants and he told me sometimes you have to sacrifice your life for others.
He got annoyed last week and said your 26 and not married and no one will marry you if you are 29.
If your haircut would be finished before you go Manchester then I don't see the problem with that?
But as for the main underlying issue, maybe it'll be best if you just sit down and talk to him if this is something that is being repeated constantly? After all, you are 26 and you have to explain to your dad that he can't keep treating you like a kid all the time...
Original post by Anonymous
So I'm almost 27 (turning 27 next month) and I just told I'm going to get a haircut, he says "no, no, no" don't get your haircut on Saturday, we have to go to Manchester at 10 (my haircut would have finished at 9 and I the hairdressers only 2 mins car ride away).
I look like a a right d!ick and today photo's are going to be taken and put on Facebook.
This angers me, what gives him the right to tell me what to do,? I respect him however my sister can do whatever she wants, when I was younger my sister could do whatever she wants and he told me sometimes you have to sacrifice your life for others.
He got annoyed last week and said your 26 and not married and no one will marry you if you are 29.
I look like a a right d!ick and today photo's are going to be taken and put on Facebook.
This angers me, what gives him the right to tell me what to do,? I respect him however my sister can do whatever she wants, when I was younger my sister could do whatever she wants and he told me sometimes you have to sacrifice your life for others.
He got annoyed last week and said your 26 and not married and no one will marry you if you are 29.
You should not expect respect to be given to you on a plate, you must earn that respect. Don't be rude, but you must be a man.
My suggestion is that you go and get your haircut, when you have planned for it. As long as it does not delay the trip to Manchester. You go and get it done and come back home on time. That way, your papa knows that you can do your own thing without delaying or causing a nuisance of yourself. The big failure will be to get your haircut done and return late, thereby delaying your entire family.
Don't compare yourself to your sister. that is one mistake people make with their siblings. You are all different and you should see yourself as being different.
Finally, your Pa's idea that you won't get married at 29 is actually false. Men get married in large numbers from 29 and above. It is women, who feel the pressure to marry early because of wanting to have children early.
Good luck.
If it's any consolation, imagine if your Dad said, instead: "No, son, don't waste yer cash on getting your haircut. Sit down and I'll do it".
Thanks for the replies.
I respect him and I decided not to get the haircut because he's saying not to get it done today. I would have finished in time early anyway.
Now he's telling me come with him to Asda to fill the petrol, this and that and get dressed because you take a long time..................what the hell, I'm already dressed and for a man all it takes is 2 minutes.
He tells me this very, very last minute, I also had to finish off something too in this time and I'm behind now because he wants me to do things, hasn't into consideration my time.
Also I'm still 26 and the I want to get married between 30-31 and he's saying no girl will even consider a guy who's single at 28-29 because he's getting older. Most men marry 28+ anyway and they have maturity, assets, career, character and women are wanting children so they have to get married early and align to a man who's got something going for him.
I respect him and I decided not to get the haircut because he's saying not to get it done today. I would have finished in time early anyway.
Now he's telling me come with him to Asda to fill the petrol, this and that and get dressed because you take a long time..................what the hell, I'm already dressed and for a man all it takes is 2 minutes.
He tells me this very, very last minute, I also had to finish off something too in this time and I'm behind now because he wants me to do things, hasn't into consideration my time.
Also I'm still 26 and the I want to get married between 30-31 and he's saying no girl will even consider a guy who's single at 28-29 because he's getting older. Most men marry 28+ anyway and they have maturity, assets, career, character and women are wanting children so they have to get married early and align to a man who's got something going for him.
I'm working 20 hours a week and this is my final year of uni on a maths degree, I still have exams to revise for so that's the important thing I was going to do today.
There seems to be a lot left out of this scenario. Is he your ride into town? Is the Manchester visit optional? Are you both obligated to go, or is one doing a favour for the other? Do you live together or meeting him first?
Absent more information, I have to say that you seem to still be living in the position of a dependant. If so, you're asking a lot for your father to see you as a responsible adult when you've given him very little reason or opportunity to. Especially when you go on the internet to anonymously whine about how your hair will look on Facebook.
If you would like your father to view you as an adult, one might expect you to behave as one. As was stated already, respect is earned, not demanded.
Absent more information, I have to say that you seem to still be living in the position of a dependant. If so, you're asking a lot for your father to see you as a responsible adult when you've given him very little reason or opportunity to. Especially when you go on the internet to anonymously whine about how your hair will look on Facebook.
If you would like your father to view you as an adult, one might expect you to behave as one. As was stated already, respect is earned, not demanded.
Maybe I am being immature, however, trying my best to change my current situation. There is a lot missing.
I'm riding on my own to get a haircut, I'm driving them down to Manchester, we both live in the same house. I am seeking to get a job after graduation and possibly run a tutoring business to earn a bit more, so I'm trying my best.
For the people who's saying act like an adult: I lost my mother at the age of 10, so I had to cook, clean, have responsibilities, take care of the house, be self reliant since a young man, I've never had a hug, taken care of never, no one was there for me. None of my aunties gave a crap about me, even between the ages of 12-20, I was very shy and quiet and none of my aunties came round to where I was sitting at events to make me feel better or nothing or have a chat, I was left on my own. I had a paperound job which he took all the £18 I earn't at between 14-16. I also had a minor speech impediment which thankfully healed at the age of 19.
As stated, I'm a independent person.
I
I'm riding on my own to get a haircut, I'm driving them down to Manchester, we both live in the same house. I am seeking to get a job after graduation and possibly run a tutoring business to earn a bit more, so I'm trying my best.
For the people who's saying act like an adult: I lost my mother at the age of 10, so I had to cook, clean, have responsibilities, take care of the house, be self reliant since a young man, I've never had a hug, taken care of never, no one was there for me. None of my aunties gave a crap about me, even between the ages of 12-20, I was very shy and quiet and none of my aunties came round to where I was sitting at events to make me feel better or nothing or have a chat, I was left on my own. I had a paperound job which he took all the £18 I earn't at between 14-16. I also had a minor speech impediment which thankfully healed at the age of 19.
As stated, I'm a independent person.
I
Original post by Anonymous
For the people who's saying act like an adult: I lost my mother at the age of 10, so I had to cook, clean, have responsibilities, take care of the house, be self reliant since a young man, I've never had a hug, taken care of never, no one was there for me. None of my aunties gave a crap about me, even between the ages of 12-20, I was very shy and quiet and none of my aunties came round to where I was sitting at events to make me feel better or nothing or have a chat, I was left on my own. I had a paperound job which he took all the £18 I earn't at between 14-16. I also had a minor speech impediment which thankfully healed at the age of 19.
Self pity much. Like another user said, act like a man and you won't be treated like a boy.
Original post by MasonM
Can't you just be grateful you still got him around 
it's not like he's tryna wipe your @55
What kind of adult asked for advice on a studentforum anyway? Anonymously too
it's not like he's tryna wipe your @55 What kind of adult asked for advice on a studentforum anyway? Anonymously too
Adults can be students too?
Well, OP, anonymously or not, I appreciate where you're coming from, and think it's pretty brave to admit to.
It sounds like your father has a lot of pain and issues of his own. There's certainly a cultural divide between you and me, because few of the things you've described would be acceptable in my culture. My sister sought emancipation from our parents at 16, yet it sounds like you've probably had it rougher.
So I'd like to take back what I said. I'm not in any position to judge you, and not your father. You're both probably doing the best you can until your circumstances can improve.
It sounds like your father has a lot of pain and issues of his own. There's certainly a cultural divide between you and me, because few of the things you've described would be acceptable in my culture. My sister sought emancipation from our parents at 16, yet it sounds like you've probably had it rougher.
So I'd like to take back what I said. I'm not in any position to judge you, and not your father. You're both probably doing the best you can until your circumstances can improve.
(edited 7 years ago)
Thank you @JollyCynic
I am doing the best I can and so is my father, you are correct in he has had it rough as well in his life. However, we both have each each other and I am going forward in a positive direction.
I am doing the best I can and so is my father, you are correct in he has had it rough as well in his life. However, we both have each each other and I am going forward in a positive direction.
Original post by Anonymous
So I'm almost 27 (turning 27 next month) and I just told I'm going to get a haircut, he says "no, no, no" don't get your haircut on Saturday, we have to go to Manchester at 10 (my haircut would have finished at 9 and I the hairdressers only 2 mins car ride away).
I look like a a right d!ick and today photo's are going to be taken and put on Facebook.
This angers me, what gives him the right to tell me what to do,? I respect him however my sister can do whatever she wants, when I was younger my sister could do whatever she wants and he told me sometimes you have to sacrifice your life for others.
He got annoyed last week and said your 26 and not married and no one will marry you if you are 29.
I look like a a right d!ick and today photo's are going to be taken and put on Facebook.
This angers me, what gives him the right to tell me what to do,? I respect him however my sister can do whatever she wants, when I was younger my sister could do whatever she wants and he told me sometimes you have to sacrifice your life for others.
He got annoyed last week and said your 26 and not married and no one will marry you if you are 29.
Wow that's pretty offensive - the last para... He can shut his mouth tbh if there's any reason you won't do those things... He brought you all these years if there are any problems he's hardly blameless.
Are you and your dad religious or anything?
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