My friendgroup want to stop being friends with someone in it but we don't know how

In our friendship group we have this friend, let's call her Norma. Norma is constantly making rude & mean comments, and making us constantly feel like crap. The whole friendship group except Garcia went on a camping trip. During the trip Norma was very mean to us, and kept making jokes about her wanting to date the boy who broke my heart, she also kept making the people-pleaser, Lucy, do the work she was supposed to do. For example, when it was Norma's turn to do the dishes she'd make Lucy do them instead and she constantly bossed us about and was critical of every little thing we did. When I got home I instantly reached out to Garcia to tell her everything, and that I was sick to death of Norma. The whole group except Norma discussed it and we all admitted that we felt very hurt by how Norma treats us. So, long story short we wanna ditch her.

I'm not sure whether it's mean for us to sit down with her and tell her how we feel because that feels like a gang-up. My dad also advised me to not talk to her 1-on-1 because Norma loves drama and would probably make my life hell. Idk whether we should avoid her or what???

How can we drop Norma without causing too much drama? Everyone please help me out ASAP!!!

Reply 1

KirstyGraceB

2

Gradually stop inviting them out with you, distance yourselves. Like if you normally text every day leave it a few days before replying. You could try talk to her but from experience that never goes well they get super defensive, play the victim and won't take accountability. Or you could try pointing out her behaviour when it happens, e.g. "A did the dishes this morning, its your turn now" I feel like if its directly said its hard to not do the request.

Reply 2

Bean_cat

15

Original post by Anonymous

In our friendship group we have this friend, let's call her Norma. Norma is constantly making rude & mean comments, and making us constantly feel like crap. The whole friendship group except Garcia went on a camping trip. During the trip Norma was very mean to us, and kept making jokes about her wanting to date the boy who broke my heart, she also kept making the people-pleaser, Lucy, do the work she was supposed to do. For example, when it was Norma's turn to do the dishes she'd make Lucy do them instead and she constantly bossed us about and was critical of every little thing we did. When I got home I instantly reached out to Garcia to tell her everything, and that I was sick to death of Norma. The whole group except Norma discussed it and we all admitted that we felt very hurt by how Norma treats us. So, long story short we wanna ditch her.

I'm not sure whether it's mean for us to sit down with her and tell her how we feel because that feels like a gang-up. My dad also advised me to not talk to her 1-on-1 because Norma loves drama and would probably make my life hell. Idk whether we should avoid her or what???

How can we drop Norma without causing too much drama? Everyone please help me out ASAP!!!

As others have said; don't interact with her as much, stop telling her personal things and call her out on the spot. It would also be worth spending less time with her and spending more time with other friends, busy yourself with other things and distance yourself by keeping texting to a minimum. Your dad is right when he said not to talk 1- on- 1 because it's so obvious she's going to make a thing out of it and make you the bad guy - she's outright rude when you're all together, she's not going to be any better if you're talking alone. Do avoid her and if she brings up the topic, change the subject and tell her you don't know. I guess, it's a messy situation but you don't owe norma anything and you shouldn't have to force yourself to stick around her only to get upset; your feelings are important too.

I hope things improve for you and your friends

My friendgroup want to stop being friends with someone in it but we don't know how

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