Feeling awful after talk with Driving Instructor
Okay, so. I just wanted to get this out there because I feel like I'm not ready (but my confidence has never been that great anyway) but now I feel even worse after today's lesson?
My driving instructor cancelled on me on Tuesday (they didn't say so I didn't ask, and they usually say why so I thought it might be something a little bit more serious) and reorganised for today which I was happy/surprised about because usually they reorganises for the week after - and they have cancelled on me a number of times before which hasn't helped with my confidence. And because 2/3 months ago my mum opened her own shop and she's been so busy with that we haven't been able to go out in my own car in my own time so I was really relying on driving lessons. But today they took me around like smaller towns and did a lot of stops and starts, but these last few lessons I think my abilities dropped? I stalled basically 3 times in a row once today and stalled other times and I've been trying to improve mirror checks (I regularly do it when pulling out from parked cars and pulling in and before I brake but I usually forget when signalling) but at the end of the lesson even they said I've done poorly today. Especially because when going around one corner towards the end of lesson just after getting off a roundabout a guy came swinging around almost fully on my side of the corner and I just froze and my feet didn't move even while I was thinking 'BREAK!'. And I got upset while she was explaining all that I was doing wrong to me because I know I did crap and was kicking myself about it (in my own worst enemy and even my family say this) but at the same time I felt like if I had my lessons more closer together instead of a 2 week gap or atleast another lesson in the week then I thought I could improve better?
So I plucked up the courage and said that I didn't want them to think I was complaining but I felt like my lessons were being cancelled every other week and I think I hit a nerve because they just began trying to argue with me and talking about how they've got all these students a week and they can't help it if life gets in the way - which I really understand and that's why I didn't want them to think I was complaining because I know we can't stop things from happening when they do. They then said I can't go trying to put the blame on them and I wasn't trying to say it was their fault that I'm a rubbish driver and they even ended it with 'if you wanna go I'll go' which I felt really awful about. So I was just crying while trying to say I wasn't trying to say it's their fault and the lesson just ended kinda badly and I was just at home having a panic attack (I'm so sensitive to things I'm so sorry) and I really don't mind postponing my test because I just don't feel as confident as I did a month ago.
So I just want to know if anyone has any ideas on how I could try talk to my driving instructor again because I've got a lesson with them next week but I still feel absolutely awful and want to somehow say I'm sorry for making them feel that way.
My driving instructor cancelled on me on Tuesday (they didn't say so I didn't ask, and they usually say why so I thought it might be something a little bit more serious) and reorganised for today which I was happy/surprised about because usually they reorganises for the week after - and they have cancelled on me a number of times before which hasn't helped with my confidence. And because 2/3 months ago my mum opened her own shop and she's been so busy with that we haven't been able to go out in my own car in my own time so I was really relying on driving lessons. But today they took me around like smaller towns and did a lot of stops and starts, but these last few lessons I think my abilities dropped? I stalled basically 3 times in a row once today and stalled other times and I've been trying to improve mirror checks (I regularly do it when pulling out from parked cars and pulling in and before I brake but I usually forget when signalling) but at the end of the lesson even they said I've done poorly today. Especially because when going around one corner towards the end of lesson just after getting off a roundabout a guy came swinging around almost fully on my side of the corner and I just froze and my feet didn't move even while I was thinking 'BREAK!'. And I got upset while she was explaining all that I was doing wrong to me because I know I did crap and was kicking myself about it (in my own worst enemy and even my family say this) but at the same time I felt like if I had my lessons more closer together instead of a 2 week gap or atleast another lesson in the week then I thought I could improve better?
So I plucked up the courage and said that I didn't want them to think I was complaining but I felt like my lessons were being cancelled every other week and I think I hit a nerve because they just began trying to argue with me and talking about how they've got all these students a week and they can't help it if life gets in the way - which I really understand and that's why I didn't want them to think I was complaining because I know we can't stop things from happening when they do. They then said I can't go trying to put the blame on them and I wasn't trying to say it was their fault that I'm a rubbish driver and they even ended it with 'if you wanna go I'll go' which I felt really awful about. So I was just crying while trying to say I wasn't trying to say it's their fault and the lesson just ended kinda badly and I was just at home having a panic attack (I'm so sensitive to things I'm so sorry) and I really don't mind postponing my test because I just don't feel as confident as I did a month ago.
So I just want to know if anyone has any ideas on how I could try talk to my driving instructor again because I've got a lesson with them next week but I still feel absolutely awful and want to somehow say I'm sorry for making them feel that way.
(edited 7 years ago)
Original post by Desi123
change driving school before doing ur test? x
change driving school before doing ur test? xI did think about it but with my test being in 2 weeks I wasn't sure if I'd be able to get used to the new car in time
Original post by YourrsTrulyy
I did think about it but with my test being in 2 weeks I wasn't sure if I'd be able to get used to the new car in time
They sound really rude, it is so unprofessional to cancel all the time. I work full time and am going to try to learn to drive. Id be mad if they kept cancelling on me
Don't let them push you around, "life gets in the way" is a BS excuse for cancelling all the time. I mean its a job for them, and then they have the balls to have a go at you like that 
Have you pre paid for the lessons and the test? If you already paid for the lessons be cold and dont take no **** from them again, if you just paid for the test you could change. Do you feel ready to take it now? Cos if they cancel again or are a bad teacher it might be bad for you anyway 
Original post by Desi123
They sound really rude, it is so unprofessional to cancel all the time. I work full time and am going to try to learn to drive. Id be mad if they kept cancelling on me Don't let them push you around, "life gets in the way" is a BS excuse for cancelling all the time. I mean its a job for them, and then they have the balls to have a go at you like that Have you pre paid for the lessons and the test? If you already paid for the lessons be cold and dont take no **** from them again, if you just paid for the test you could change. Do you feel ready to take it now? Cos if they cancel again or are a bad teacher it might be bad for you anyway
Don't let them push you around, "life gets in the way" is a BS excuse for cancelling all the time. I mean its a job for them, and then they have the balls to have a go at you like that Have you pre paid for the lessons and the test? If you already paid for the lessons be cold and dont take no **** from them again, if you just paid for the test you could change. Do you feel ready to take it now? Cos if they cancel again or are a bad teacher it might be bad for you anyway The person who recommended them to me was surprised when we told them about a lot of the lessons being cancelled so I think it might just be recently that it's started happening. Thank you, I'll keep that in mind
they aren't prepaid lessons and I'm going to talk to my family about it tonight whether I should postpone it or if there's any way I could do some intensive driving with someone. I think I'm probably going to see how the tests goes (with friends and family helping me in the meantime and also still having my instructor) so then if I pass I won't have to be with them anymore and if I fail I can try find someone new Original post by YourrsTrulyy
The person who recommended them to me was surprised when we told them about a lot of the lessons being cancelled so I think it might just be recently that it's started happening. Thank you, I'll keep that in mind they aren't prepaid lessons and I'm going to talk to my family about it tonight whether I should postpone it or if there's any way I could do some intensive driving with someone. I think I'm probably going to see how the tests goes (with friends and family helping me in the meantime and also still having my instructor) so then if I pass I won't have to be with them anymore and if I fail I can try find someone new
they aren't prepaid lessons and I'm going to talk to my family about it tonight whether I should postpone it or if there's any way I could do some intensive driving with someone. I think I'm probably going to see how the tests goes (with friends and family helping me in the meantime and also still having my instructor) so then if I pass I won't have to be with them anymore and if I fail I can try find someone new Good luck
If you do want to change the test date you still can btw https://www.gov.uk/change-driving-test
Replace.
That's out of order.. At the end of the day, you are employing them to help you develop your skills, and it sounds like they are not doing a good job of it! Personally I agree that it may be best to find another driving school, especially if you're happy to postpone the test.
As for the getting worse, I think most people do, as myself and a few of my friends started lessons really strongly, and then as we progressed we seemed to get worse! I think you tend to get subconsciously overconfident and pay less attention. It's surprisingly easy to adapt to a new car, would only take half a lesson or so.
Overall I reckon, get yourself a new driving instructor!
As for the getting worse, I think most people do, as myself and a few of my friends started lessons really strongly, and then as we progressed we seemed to get worse! I think you tend to get subconsciously overconfident and pay less attention. It's surprisingly easy to adapt to a new car, would only take half a lesson or so.
Overall I reckon, get yourself a new driving instructor!
Driving lessons 2 weeks apart due to cancellations is simply NOT acceptable. You are taking one step forward and two steps back that way. I think that's disgraceful. If they are having to cancel because they have too many students and cannot cope that is simply their fault for taking on more than they can handle.
I think the way it looks now it might be best to cancel your test and get a refund because the pressure seems to be stressing you out a little, and you are going to feel uncomfortable during lessons now on behalf of their appalling, unprofessional behaviour anyway.
If I were you I'd stop seeing that instructor, file a formal complaint if you can. Cancel your test (due to understandable reasons!) give yourself a breather, and get settled with someone else before rebooking your test.
But if you really want to pass your test ASAP and think you have the determination then go for it, try and get loads of practice in and smash it 💪🏻 But just know that you were not in the wrong at all.
I think the way it looks now it might be best to cancel your test and get a refund because the pressure seems to be stressing you out a little, and you are going to feel uncomfortable during lessons now on behalf of their appalling, unprofessional behaviour anyway.
If I were you I'd stop seeing that instructor, file a formal complaint if you can. Cancel your test (due to understandable reasons!) give yourself a breather, and get settled with someone else before rebooking your test.
But if you really want to pass your test ASAP and think you have the determination then go for it, try and get loads of practice in and smash it 💪🏻 But just know that you were not in the wrong at all.
Original post by Xellah
That's out of order.. At the end of the day, you are employing them to help you develop your skills, and it sounds like they are not doing a good job of it! Personally I agree that it may be best to find another driving school, especially if you're happy to postpone the test.
As for the getting worse, I think most people do, as myself and a few of my friends started lessons really strongly, and then as we progressed we seemed to get worse! I think you tend to get subconsciously overconfident and pay less attention. It's surprisingly easy to adapt to a new car, would only take half a lesson or so.
Overall I reckon, get yourself a new driving instructor!
As for the getting worse, I think most people do, as myself and a few of my friends started lessons really strongly, and then as we progressed we seemed to get worse! I think you tend to get subconsciously overconfident and pay less attention. It's surprisingly easy to adapt to a new car, would only take half a lesson or so.
Overall I reckon, get yourself a new driving instructor!
That's good to know! It's because when I mentioned it to my friend she said she found it hard swapping cars, so I guess it just depends on the person. I think I need a recap on all the things to do while driving so a new driving instructor would be a fresh start. Thank you!
Original post by YourrsTrulyy
That's good to know! It's because when I mentioned it to my friend she said she found it hard swapping cars, so I guess it just depends on the person. I think I need a recap on all the things to do while driving so a new driving instructor would be a fresh start. Thank you!
Driving can be very stressful, so having someone more supportive will make things so much easier for you! I hope you find someone that gives you a lot more respect! Good luck!!
Original post by Twinpeaks
Driving lessons 2 weeks apart due to cancellations is simply NOT acceptable. You are taking one step forward and two steps back that way. I think that's disgraceful. If they are having to cancel because they have too many students and cannot cope that is simply their fault for taking on more than they can handle.
I think the way it looks now it might be best to cancel your test and get a refund because the pressure seems to be stressing you out a little, and you are going to feel uncomfortable during lessons now on behalf of their appalling, unprofessional behaviour anyway.
If I were you I'd stop seeing that instructor, file a formal complaint if you can. Cancel your test (due to understandable reasons!) give yourself a breather, and get settled with someone else before rebooking your test.
But if you really want to pass your test ASAP and think you have the determination then go for it, try and get loads of practice in and smash it 💪🏻 But just know that you were not in the wrong at all.
I think the way it looks now it might be best to cancel your test and get a refund because the pressure seems to be stressing you out a little, and you are going to feel uncomfortable during lessons now on behalf of their appalling, unprofessional behaviour anyway.
If I were you I'd stop seeing that instructor, file a formal complaint if you can. Cancel your test (due to understandable reasons!) give yourself a breather, and get settled with someone else before rebooking your test.
But if you really want to pass your test ASAP and think you have the determination then go for it, try and get loads of practice in and smash it 💪🏻 But just know that you were not in the wrong at all.
Original post by Twinpeaks
Driving lessons 2 weeks apart due to cancellations is simply NOT acceptable. You are taking one step forward and two steps back that way. I think that's disgraceful. If they are having to cancel because they have too many students and cannot cope that is simply their fault for taking on more than they can handle.
I think the way it looks now it might be best to cancel your test and get a refund because the pressure seems to be stressing you out a little, and you are going to feel uncomfortable during lessons now on behalf of their appalling, unprofessional behaviour anyway.
If I were you I'd stop seeing that instructor, file a formal complaint if you can. Cancel your test (due to understandable reasons!) give yourself a breather, and get settled with someone else before rebooking your test.
But if you really want to pass your test ASAP and think you have the determination then go for it, try and get loads of practice in and smash it 💪🏻 But just know that you were not in the wrong at all.
I think the way it looks now it might be best to cancel your test and get a refund because the pressure seems to be stressing you out a little, and you are going to feel uncomfortable during lessons now on behalf of their appalling, unprofessional behaviour anyway.
If I were you I'd stop seeing that instructor, file a formal complaint if you can. Cancel your test (due to understandable reasons!) give yourself a breather, and get settled with someone else before rebooking your test.
But if you really want to pass your test ASAP and think you have the determination then go for it, try and get loads of practice in and smash it 💪🏻 But just know that you were not in the wrong at all.
I don't know if she realises I'm missing a week? Because they'll cancel the lesson but rearrange for the week after but then not get another lesson for that week so that it's equal. They've had to cancel due to a number of things, and the ones that are personal/family related to I totally understand. There's been things such as cracked windscreen, been at a meeting and running late, cracked windscreen again.
I'll have a talk with my family and get their opinions aswell, I've always been a little sensitive to things and a bit of a pushover but if I still don't feel confident even after the talk I'll definitely consider postponing the test for some other time
And thank you!
(edited 7 years ago)
Change instructor. Seriously they sound like a shambles. It took me bloody ages to learn and had 4 different instructors, despite some of their faults I NEVER had them cancel a lesson short notice without explanation. In fact, I don't think it ever even happened. They sound unprofessional as heck.*
This thread is still open for comments so here goes, I'm an ADI, you need a new ADI, there are far too many Negative ADI's, the only way you will learn quicker is by your ADI being positive, even if you did everything wrong there will always be Something which was the Best bit, then the not so good, then end with another Positive. It's much easier to be Negative so they're probably just Lazy! Why pay for a Lazy ADI
Thank you all for the support! I should probably update this as I did end up getting a new driving instructor and postponing my test. He was a total sweetheart and helped keep my nerves at bay - even offered me a few mints
I passed my test first time with only 3 minors and have been driving without a hitch for the last 2 years ^^
I passed my test first time with only 3 minors and have been driving without a hitch for the last 2 years ^^Well done YourrsTrulyy), I only posted as I thought it would be helpful if others read it, I was actually chasing up comments about my (new to me) local test centre in the hope I could head off any peculiarities with the Examiners here. Sounds like your instructor was old school, back in the day in Putney we would go for a coffee after a lesson, if you did well on lesson I paid! "lol".
Original post by YourrsTrulyy
Thank you all for the support! I should probably update this as I did end up getting a new driving instructor and postponing my test. He was a total sweetheart and helped keep my nerves at bay - even offered me a few mints I passed my test first time with only 3 minors and have been driving without a hitch for the last 2 years ^^
I passed my test first time with only 3 minors and have been driving without a hitch for the last 2 years ^^Quick Reply
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