Family is stopping me from having sex before marriage

There would be something wrong if they were advocating anything else.

What if i was in a relationship with a guy, I'm not talking about one night stands.

even if you're in a relationship alot of guys will just bang you for a few months/years and leave you.

They're really clever about it, they'd never insinuate that its forced. My mum especially, shed just say so and so's son is single and has a good degree and is well off, what do you think of him? then a couple of days later shed be like have you thought anymore about it? and if i keep saying no and lets say he marries someone else shed be like i told you he was available, he wouldve married you, you've just let this opportunity go blah blah.
basically she'll do it in a really sly way and coerce me into a marriage

I wish my parents and family weren't so backwards, they cannot be reasoned with and they'll get me married off to a guy who has similar thinking to them I feel so bleak about my life My mum regardless of what you tell her believes the hymen breaks during sex, she says it did for all her sisters and her but j tried to tell her that was probably a tear to the vaginal wall because the guy was being forceful. I don't want to wait until marriage but they've instilled such a fear in me that I can't bring myself to have sex outside marriage now even if I wanted to. My mum denies that my bedsheets will be shown around to prove I am a virgin but that my future husband will see it and he won't trust me and think i wasn't a virgin if he doesn't see blood. For this reason she won't let me use a tampon, she had such a go at me when I asked if I could use one :/

And my mum says other muslim guys from our culture will call me second hand goods and no one will marry me if I'm not a virgin. these kind of things really depress me because it makes me feel as if i have no worth or power in my life, as if someone is only marrying me to have sex with me. meanwhile the guy can have sex with as many girls as he wants and no one will know

I wish my parents and family weren't so backwards, they cannot be reasoned with and they'll get me married off to a guy who has similar thinking to them I feel so bleak about my life My mum regardless of what you tell her believes the hymen breaks during sex, she says it did for all her sisters and her but j tried to tell her that was probably a tear to the vaginal wall because the guy was being forceful. I don't want to wait until marriage but they've instilled such a fear in me that I can't bring myself to have sex outside marriage now even if I wanted to. My mum denies that my bedsheets will be shown around to prove I am a virgin but that my future husband will see it and he won't trust me and think i wasn't a virgin if he doesn't see blood. For this reason she won't let me use a tampon, she had such a go at me when I asked if I could use one :/

Well this why your parents are correct because these guys do not have any integrity

I wish my parents and family weren't so backwards, they cannot be reasoned with and they'll get me married off to a guy who has similar thinking to them I feel so bleak about my life My mum regardless of what you tell her believes the hymen breaks during sex, she says it did for all her sisters and her but j tried to tell her that was probably a tear to the vaginal wall because the guy was being forceful. I don't want to wait until marriage but they've instilled such a fear in me that I can't bring myself to have sex outside marriage now even if I wanted to. My mum denies that my bedsheets will be shown around to prove I am a virgin but that my future husband will see it and he won't trust me and think i wasn't a virgin if he doesn't see blood. For this reason she won't let me use a tampon, she had such a go at me when I asked if I could use one :/

And my mum says other muslim guys from our culture will call me second hand goods and no one will marry me if I'm not a virgin. these kind of things really depress me because it makes me feel as if i have no worth or power in my life, as if someone is only marrying me to have sex with me. meanwhile the guy can have sex with as many girls as he wants and no one will know

She cannot stop you from having sex. If you do it outside of her sight, she will never know, to be absolutely honest.



Both me and you know that's misogynistic ********.

But the guy I marry will because he'll feel I'm not as tight and there won't be blood

I swear the whole blood thing doesn't happen to everyone. Like the hymen can tear when people do horseriding or use tampons so you don't exactly have to explain the lack of blood.

I wish I could get that into my mums tiny little brain, I'm crying now out of frustration and sadness I hate that I've been given such an ignorant mother

I wish I could get that into my mums tiny little brain, I'm crying now out of frustration and sadness I hate that I've been given such an ignorant mother

And my mum says other muslim guys from our culture will call me second hand goods and no one will marry me if I'm not a virgin. these kind of things really depress me because it makes me feel as if i have no worth or power in my life, as if someone is only marrying me to have sex with me. meanwhile the guy can have sex with as many girls as he wants and no one will know

Who are "these guys" who don't have any integrity? You may be content to obey your parents at over 20 years old, but that isn't the case for everyone? OP is old enough to make her own decisions, find her own relationships, and love and marry whom she pleases. She is old enough to know the consequences of her actions. This is the 21st century, you know.