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Reply 120
cruciform
Why can't they come round to it? How would your family react if you engaged in an outside culture sort of realtionship?



If I marry a hindu/sikh girl, they would disown me cos it'd bring shame to them and they don't want a hindu/sikh in their family

personally I don't care and if she happened to be hindu, i would elope lol
Adonis
If I marry a hindu/sikh girl, they would disown me cos it'd bring shame to them and they don't want a hindu/sikh in their family

personally I don't care and if she happened to be hindu, i would elope lol

Why would you abandon your family for one girl? What if it doesn't work, what will you do then?
Adonis
If I marry a hindu/sikh girl, they would disown me cos it'd bring shame to them and they don't want a hindu/sikh in their family

personally I don't care and if she happened to be hindu, i would elope lol


Adonis I thought you were a Hindu?
Reply 123
CombineHarvester
Why would you abandon your family for one girl? What if it doesn't work, what will you do then?


I'm not that close to my family anyway, It can be months without speaking to my sisters [all married]

so it wouldn't be a huge ask for me.
Reply 124
cruciform
Adonis I thought you were a Hindu?



Quasi-Muslim.
Adonis
Quasi-Muslim.

what's a quasi Muslim :s
Reply 126
loki276
what's a quasi Muslim :s


Quasi=in name only.
I've had a very similar experience. To bring a different perspective:

Muslims are taught to love God more than anything (more than their parents, children, thier wife, etc). They are brought up with this concept from a very early age and it can be extremely hard to break this concept in one decision for a love. Yes, he may have fallen deeply in love but he would be risking his own religion, his family and everyone who knows him for one girl. Although that would be very romantic of him and very loyal of him but at a fairly teenage sort of age how can he support a loved one on his own, wihout any help and at the same time have the pressure of being disowned by pretty much everyone he knows.

From my experience I have had to let go. Although I really miss her and love her I have to live in the belief that I've served my God.

Also (I dont mean to offend in anyway), ask yourself, if you love him beyond belief, would you be willing to convert religion? You see now that is one difficult decision and a similar sort of difficulty that he may be going through.
Adonis
Quasi=in name only.

ah kk
- If you don't believe in Allah, then to us Muslims you are an athiest hence I think that you should leave the religion of Islam on one side.
I'm not sure how old you are but, surely if you are not a Muslim, your parents must be non-practising Muslims- May God forgieve me if I am wrong- because if they were, you would have been brought up as a good Muslim who can distinguish between what is right and what is wrong and hold on tightly to your religion until you die.
- In Islam, the relationships before marriage were forbiden for this reason; you have now been together for 3 years ? and at the end you broke up .. and everything has disappeared in a second unlike marriage which is a more stable relationship whose aim is to have a family and live a very happy life.
- Your 'boyfriend' is right to love his parents before you, they have looked after him for all of that time and at the end make them unhappy? why would he want to do that? You will succeed in your life only if your parents are happy with what you are doing without disobeiding God of course!
- Finally, as a lot of people said, such relationship will mostely affect the children who will find themselves lost in the middle of two 'religions' and two cultures etc.

Regards, and may Allah open your heart for the right path :smile:
Shivvling
Everything will be alright in the end and if it isn't, then the film hasn't ended yet my friend.



Om Shanti Om!! I was watching it on channel 4 last night :h:
Reply 131
oh by the way a film regarding a muslim and hindu being married will be on channel 4 tomorrow ( i think ). It's called JODHA AKBAR. Very good film in my opinion (it even has a spartan "sending someone over the edge of a "cliff" to thier death" moment :P )
Reply 132
Because Muslims have no tolerance of other cultures???
Reply 133
algérie_mon_amour

Regards, and may Allah open your heart for the right path :smile:


There is no right path. Good luck with that one, Allah.
Davezk
Because Muslims have no tolerance of other cultures???


I disagree with that. We have been taught to treat non-muslims with just the same respect as we'd treat a muslim.

Moreover, I dont think it is Islam which doesn't tolerate other cultures but culture itself. I believe its generally people with different cultures that dont tolerate each other.

A pakistani muslim may have different views to a Indian muslim.

Just like the different cultures between the Scottish, the Welsh, the Irish, the French and the English. Doesn't mean religion has caused hatred between the cultures but culture itself.
Davezk
There is no right path. Good luck with that one, Allah.


There's always a right path!! :P
Reply 136
Anonymous
I disagree with that. We have been taught to treat non-muslims with just the same respect as we'd treat a muslim.

Moreover, I dont think it is Islam which doesn't tolerate other cultures but culture itself. I believe its generally people with different cultures that dont tolerate each other.

A pakistani muslim may have different views to a Indian muslim.

Just like the different cultures between the Scottish, the Welsh, the Irish, the French and the English. Doesn't mean religion has caused hatred between the cultures but culture itself.


Ok I appologise as there is a difference between religion and culture, BUT, the vast majority of muslim families want their son or daughter to marry another muslim. Anyone who apposes that brings great shame on the family etc and you have all these honour killings.

That very rarely happens elsewhere. It's reknown that most branches of islam are very low tolerance despite the religion being said to be open to other cultures. That's why most people don't think so highly of islamic culture as there's so many double standards everywhere you look.
Reply 137
Anonymous
There's always a right path!! :P


Many different paths can lead to the same outcome, who's to say which is the right one and which isn't? Personally, I make my own decisions.
To nutta ,first of all i am really sorry for your heartbrake and hope you ll find a man who appreciates you more
i agree with most of ppl here itsnt about hes a hindu or whatever ,its just that he didnt have an honest love with you till the end ,coz if it was true love he would have fought with anything to get beside u ,not leave u for his parents
and i think you mentioned that you arent religious and it caused you more mess i feel ,coz as you said you are a muslims and as one you should have had a sexual relationship with your love without getting married ,so if you didnt know about that you have to repent and God will accept it ,you may get back to you religion as a source of power
also now that you have sadness bcz of ur breakup surround urself with relatives and dear friends (eat many chocolate) it helps a lot i do that
and for marrying 4 women is sexist ,first men can do that for certain reasons like helping a poor woman in her life and they have to treat them all the same and offer them a suitable living because islam has honoured women and so honoured men who take care of them
Davezk
Ok I appologise as there is a difference between religion and culture, BUT, the vast majority of muslim families want their son or daughter to marry another muslim. Anyone who apposes that brings great shame on the family etc and you have all these honour killings.

That very rarely happens elsewhere. It's reknown that most branches of islam are very low tolerance despite the religion being said to be open to other cultures. That's why most people don't think so highly of islamic culture as there's so many double standards everywhere you look.


It is true the vast majority of muslims want their ofsprings to marry other muslims. However is it not usual for christians to want for their offsprings to marry other christians? Or for jewish parents wanting their jewish offsprings to marry a jewish person?

Yes there are honour killings. I 100% dissagree with honour killing its wrong and against our religion. Moreover I believe honour killing has more to do with culture than religion. Some asian families are built upon pride and honour due to their culture and if that is lost they may feel they have nothing left, no reason for existance I guess.

I firmly believe that is to do more due to culture. I mean most of the people committing these "honour killings" are of 1st generation origins, people straight from their country and of their culture. If you look at many 2nd or 3rd generation muslims in britain, they are more of british culture than anything else. I wouldn't believe honour killing is very high in percentage within these categories as we should've adapted the british culture and deemed it extremely incorrect. But that is my belief.

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