dating - when do you become 'exclusive' or 'bf/gf' in a relationship?

I tend not to ever date more than one person at once. I don't feel the need to constantly be in a relationship, so I date people I meet who I feel are exceptional in some way and if it works out it works out. I don't do the dating multiple people at once thing because I'm never that into multiple people at once and I don't see the point in going out with someone based solely on some superficial attraction to "see where things go".

First date is just a trial, but I expect exclusivity before a second date.

If i've agreed to go on a date with someone, I generally will focus on them and give it a shot, any sort of overlap of seeing/dating people seems a bit shady to me.

whaat? how can you possibly know someone well enough after you drank a coffee with them?

whaat? how can you possibly know someone well enough after you drank a coffee with them?



so you go on a first date with Girl A on Friday. on Wednesday Girl B asks yu out. do you say, no im in a relationship with Girl A??? ridiculous. you should date girl A the following friday and also go out with girl B on wednesday. get to know em both before committing.

plus theres alot of obligations assoiated wth being in a exclusive rleationship, like calling texting all the time, meeting family, turnign up as their partner to socials etc

I'm waiting for some girl to go "oh it just happens, you don't need to agree on it". And the obvious answer to that is: he might not be as exclusive as you think.

For me, there is no rule about first kiss, how many times sleeping together etc. If you haven't agreed on being exclusive, you are not. People have FWBs, casual relationships, they date... When you've sat down and said "so how do you feel about not seeing anyone else but each other?", you've started the discussion.

so you go on a first date with Girl A on Friday. on Wednesday Girl B asks yu out. do you say, no im in a relationship with Girl A??? ridiculous. you should date girl A the following friday and also go out with girl B on wednesday. get to know em both before committing.

plus theres alot of obligations assoiated wth being in a exclusive rleationship, like calling texting all the time, meeting family, turnign up as their partner to socials etc

Differs each time. Is only after you have had the disccusion and decided to be exclusive.

How do you initiate that conversation? It's probably a very obvious question, but it's something I've been trying to figure out. And should I wait for him to initiate it or ask myself?

I have never brought that up with a guy. I'd wait for him to say something. And I'd be dating other guys until then. I think a lot of guys (particularly a bit older) have some sort of gene that tells them all (young) girls are clingy and will want to get married after sex. It can be difficult to make them understand that I am not, I just play it cool as long as I can. After all, I'm not in a rush to be in a couple. If he isn't eager to seal the deal either, then it's not right.

Once you've become 'Facebook Official', then it's serious

yes but this is ridiculous! i meet so many people who indignantly insist "im not like that, i only date people i'm serious about, and only one at a time!!"

BUT

my point is, you surely need to get to know someone before you can determine if they are exceptional and compatible for a relationship. how can you determine that unless you go out with them a few times and get to know them

in my experience people who say this are generally losers who seldom get asked out, and have no choice but to stick with the sole choice they have and hope it works out since they do not have any other options. they like to make it seem really noble and all. but seriously, if only one girl has accepted to meet you for lunch in a year, you arent exactly making a big sacrifice by ONLY seeing her right from the offset.

also when you are like 25 - 45+ do you still

a) ask 'will you be my girlfriend'?
b) call them girl/boyfirends? they arent girls or boys anymore, it seems immature and juvenile

I am almost 25 and he is nearly 30, he will continue to be my boyfriend until such a time as he becomes my fiancé and after that my husband.