This discussion is now closed.
Check out other Related discussions
- Girl I am talking to still has pictures of her ex on her instagram
- What do girls think of people with tights fetishes?
- My ex wants me back but I’m seeing someone new
- Am I a bad person?
- Is my ex-boyfriend using his new girlfriend for her money?
- How do i deal with this heartbreak?
- Treating my new boyfriend worse than how I treated my ex
- Boyfriend told me his ex is better looking?
- Help with my problem
- How can I cope with my BF (25) joining the British Army?
- Relationship Advice? Am I Overthinking?
- Dating with kids help! 10 year age gap
- Ex
- How to get over her sexual past?
- Boyfriend follows naked women on insta
- How to deal with being painted as the villain of their story?
- I don’t want to leave him but it hurts
- Legally enforceable time limit on staying with boyfriend in halls?
- Relationship issues
- How do I get over my ex?
My boyfriend keeps his ex's stuff - would this bother you?
Scroll to see replies
Original post by Anonymous
Well I have asked him about it, and he says that most of it he just hasn't got round to going through and throwing away, but some of it he wants to keep as a memento but it means nothing, and I guess I'm ok with that.
Would it matter even if it did mean something? Which it obviously does as that is the point of a memento.
As it is Exs, plural- I wouldn't mind.
You need to be worried if it was just one Ex, who he kept all of his momentos and photos of....but the fact that he has stuff from more than one girl just makes it seem like he's a bit of a hoarder.
You need to be worried if it was just one Ex, who he kept all of his momentos and photos of....but the fact that he has stuff from more than one girl just makes it seem like he's a bit of a hoarder.
Original post by lechaton-x
As it is Exs, plural- I wouldn't mind.
You need to be worried if it was just one Ex, who he kept all of his momentos and photos of....but the fact that he has stuff from more than one girl just makes it seem like he's a bit of a hoarder.
You need to be worried if it was just one Ex, who he kept all of his momentos and photos of....but the fact that he has stuff from more than one girl just makes it seem like he's a bit of a hoarder.
Don't get me started on one of the girls.
It's more the quantity of the stuff that's lying round here and there all over the house, and the fact I really dislike his last girlfriend, pictures of him and her together and yucky love notes are not really something I want to see.
Yes it would bother me lots. He clearly has feelings for this girl.
he's not flaunting it about though. He's keeping it hidden.
Things like expensive ring and love notes are sort of nice keepsakes. I don't think it means anything.
Things like expensive ring and love notes are sort of nice keepsakes. I don't think it means anything.
I could see why it would bother you because they're in frames and photographs which makes it seem like there's a great sentimental value to the images.
I don't have anything sentimental form ex's, not one photo, not one card/letter....I have some things I've been bought by them but that's just everyday stuff like a couple of tshirts.
I have found one photo of my boyfriend and his crazy ex Jill. But I just found it funny because I know him well and he looks miserable while the ex looks happy and oblivious :P (I say she was crazy because when they went to a wedding once, she accused him of wanting to spend more time with the ducks by the lake over her).
I don't have anything sentimental form ex's, not one photo, not one card/letter....I have some things I've been bought by them but that's just everyday stuff like a couple of tshirts.
I have found one photo of my boyfriend and his crazy ex Jill. But I just found it funny because I know him well and he looks miserable while the ex looks happy and oblivious :P (I say she was crazy because when they went to a wedding once, she accused him of wanting to spend more time with the ducks by the lake over her).
There is an episode of How I Met Your Mother JUST like this.
If it really bothers you, just talk to him. He probably doesn't attach any left over feelings to the items, some people just don't like throwing things away. Maybe those things have a sentimental value or they remind him of some important stage in his life, it certainly doesn't mean he has feelings for his exes.
If it really bothers you, just talk to him. He probably doesn't attach any left over feelings to the items, some people just don't like throwing things away. Maybe those things have a sentimental value or they remind him of some important stage in his life, it certainly doesn't mean he has feelings for his exes.
difficult to know, like
I have some stuff from my ex, which I intend to keep. As it's almost nothing I'd probably not tell someone about it.
However, the moment I could take it out and not feel anything, I'd tell her/him and burn it.
My 2 cents
I have some stuff from my ex, which I intend to keep. As it's almost nothing I'd probably not tell someone about it.
However, the moment I could take it out and not feel anything, I'd tell her/him and burn it.
My 2 cents
That is all something that would REALLY bother me... because I'd be worried he still had feelings for them. But that doesn't mean you should do something drastic about it, sit down with him, and just explain how you feel... you're instincts as to how he replies will most certainly be right (personal experience..) If you believe his 'excuse' then that's great, he probably is just keeping the stuff purely as stuff.. not for any meaning!
I have a load of stuff from my ex's but I literally never look at it. In fact this is the first time in years I've thought about it and I think it's all tucked away in a drawer somewhere.
My point is: girls and guys are different. There's a good chance that it's there because throwing it away isn't a big thing for him and it doesn't symbolise that he's moved on or help him to. It's just stuff that reminds him of a time in his life that was happy and he might want to look back on it in future.
Personally I've just thought long and hard about my reasons for not going and throwing it all away right now. I think I want to be able to prove to the kids that I eventually have that once I wasn't just a boring old man that makes them do chores.
So don't beat yourself up over it. He's a guy, guys think differently to girls so firstly his emotional connection probably isn't the same and secondly he could have completely random reasons for keeping it, or absolutely no reasons at all.
Also I have a load of old games consoles lying around somewhere too. I basically have exactly the same attitude/ feelings towards these that I have towards all the things that remind me of ex girlfriends, so really try not to let it get to you too much.
My point is: girls and guys are different. There's a good chance that it's there because throwing it away isn't a big thing for him and it doesn't symbolise that he's moved on or help him to. It's just stuff that reminds him of a time in his life that was happy and he might want to look back on it in future.
Personally I've just thought long and hard about my reasons for not going and throwing it all away right now. I think I want to be able to prove to the kids that I eventually have that once I wasn't just a boring old man that makes them do chores.
So don't beat yourself up over it. He's a guy, guys think differently to girls so firstly his emotional connection probably isn't the same and secondly he could have completely random reasons for keeping it, or absolutely no reasons at all.
Also I have a load of old games consoles lying around somewhere too. I basically have exactly the same attitude/ feelings towards these that I have towards all the things that remind me of ex girlfriends, so really try not to let it get to you too much.
Original post by Berbalicious
Why does it bother you?
It's his ex, he's with you.
Should he delete the memories from his mind as well as the physical reminders he has of that relationship that constituted his past?
Some people are just more sentimental than others or are hoarders etc. My ex still had boxes full of stuff from her exes as she couldnt bear to throw anything out.
Don't force him to throw it out, he will just hate you for it if he isn't ready to do that. Just casually bring it up in conversation to say that you had seen it, maybe he will realise that he has moved on and will throw it out himself. If not then you'll just have to live with it, it's only stuff.
It's his ex, he's with you.
Should he delete the memories from his mind as well as the physical reminders he has of that relationship that constituted his past?
Some people are just more sentimental than others or are hoarders etc. My ex still had boxes full of stuff from her exes as she couldnt bear to throw anything out.
Don't force him to throw it out, he will just hate you for it if he isn't ready to do that. Just casually bring it up in conversation to say that you had seen it, maybe he will realise that he has moved on and will throw it out himself. If not then you'll just have to live with it, it's only stuff.
This.
I have a small box of stuff from a prior relationship, mostly photos from a different country and stuff.
I would keep it hidden, not as some way to 'get one over' my current g/f (I haven't even looked at them in a while) but to me any attack on my ownership of them is an attack on my past and I wouldn't appreciate it at all.
Same would go for any future girlfriends. As long as this stuff is hidden away and they aren't actively pining over their exes then what's the point?
Personally if I was you I would be respectful, understand your feelings are probably misplaced (you haven't said anything about your boyfriend being suspiciously nostalgic for these ladies) and he did put them there because he knew it wasn't fair to have them up around the house while you;re there.
Ask him to put them in storage or something (in a loft or other storage space) and then forget about them.
You push this too much and force him to chuck them there is a high chance he'll just resent you.
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
My boyfriend keeps stuff from his past relationships all over the house. It's his house, but I live with him so obviously I'm going to open drawers and stuff.
The other day I dropped a tub of moisturiser down the back of his chest of drawers by mistake, and found loads of photo frames hidden behind there with pictures of him and his exes.
Other things I've found include old Christmas and birthday cards, an expensive ring with an ex's name on, more photographs, and a stash of revolting love notes.
I mean when we got together I got rid of all my stuff from my ex for his benefit, but he doesn't seem to be showing me the same courtesy, and it makes me feel like I'm 'just another girl' and like he's less genuine because he still keeps all this stuff.
Would this bother anyone else? Why is he hanging on to it, and what would you do?
The other day I dropped a tub of moisturiser down the back of his chest of drawers by mistake, and found loads of photo frames hidden behind there with pictures of him and his exes.
Other things I've found include old Christmas and birthday cards, an expensive ring with an ex's name on, more photographs, and a stash of revolting love notes.
I mean when we got together I got rid of all my stuff from my ex for his benefit, but he doesn't seem to be showing me the same courtesy, and it makes me feel like I'm 'just another girl' and like he's less genuine because he still keeps all this stuff.
Would this bother anyone else? Why is he hanging on to it, and what would you do?
he loves his ex's more than you - you are just another girl. Think of it this way. He LOVES his ex's, but uses you as a **** buddy. That's what i'd think if i was in his shoes
Get out of there!
The pictures are hidden away, they're not out in the open. they're memories. Just because you're in a new relationship doesn't mean you should forget everything else and dump all your previous memories. He's kept them hidden because he doesn't want you thinking that you're just some other girl or that he hasn't moved on. If all these things wer eout in the open I'd understand where you are coming from, however he's kept it all hidden, just how old memories should be treated. It's an expensive ring, why throw it away? They're birthday cards, letters, memories. He's not keeping naked picture sof them and videos for him to masturbate over, nor is he ignoring you to keep on talking with them, is he?
You're fretting a tad too much.
You're fretting a tad too much.
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by Derfel
The pictures are hidden away, they're not out in the open. they're memories. Just because you're in a new relationship doesn't mean you should forget everything else and dump all your previous memories. He's kept them hidden because he doesn't want you thinking that you're just some other girl or that he hasn't moved on. If all these things wer eout in the open I'd understand where you are coming from, however he's kept it all hidden, just how old memories should be treated. It's an expensive ring, why throw it away? They're birthday cards, letters, memories. He's not keeping naked picture sof them and videos for him to masturbate over, nor is he ignoring you to keep on talking with them, is he?
You're fretting a tad too much.
You're fretting a tad too much.
I wouldn't call it too much, I have previously found naked pictures that I made him delete. I'm not making him get rid of anything though, I just wanted to know the reason he had them, and I'm satisfied with that.
it depends, really. Until recently, I had a kind of 'box' with a load of stuff from my ex. There's stupid stuff in there. Movies we went to see together, train tickets from days that meant things to us, even bottle caps from certain nights out. Really really stupid stuff, along with photographs, presents he gave me, momentos from hotels we stayed at, tickets from things we were at, etc. The ONLY reason I don't have a lot of it now is that I made it into a photo album for his birthday and stuck a lot of the stuff into it. (He's my best friend now)
I still have some of the stuff though, and if anyone ever asked me to get rid of it I'd tell them no straight out. I'm not still in love with him, but he was and is a huge part of my life and really did shape who I am. The things do still mean a lot to me, but not because I wish they were still happening, simply because they're treasured memories of happy times.
I still have some of the stuff though, and if anyone ever asked me to get rid of it I'd tell them no straight out. I'm not still in love with him, but he was and is a huge part of my life and really did shape who I am. The things do still mean a lot to me, but not because I wish they were still happening, simply because they're treasured memories of happy times.
Original post by Anonymous
My boyfriend keeps stuff from his past relationships all over the house. It's his house, but I live with him so obviously I'm going to open drawers and stuff.
The other day I dropped a tub of moisturiser down the back of his chest of drawers by mistake, and found loads of photo frames hidden behind there with pictures of him and his exes.
Other things I've found include old Christmas and birthday cards, an expensive ring with an ex's name on, more photographs, and a stash of revolting love notes.
I mean when we got together I got rid of all my stuff from my ex for his benefit, but he doesn't seem to be showing me the same courtesy, and it makes me feel like I'm 'just another girl' and like he's less genuine because he still keeps all this stuff.
Would this bother anyone else? Why is he hanging on to it, and what would you do?
The other day I dropped a tub of moisturiser down the back of his chest of drawers by mistake, and found loads of photo frames hidden behind there with pictures of him and his exes.
Other things I've found include old Christmas and birthday cards, an expensive ring with an ex's name on, more photographs, and a stash of revolting love notes.
I mean when we got together I got rid of all my stuff from my ex for his benefit, but he doesn't seem to be showing me the same courtesy, and it makes me feel like I'm 'just another girl' and like he's less genuine because he still keeps all this stuff.
Would this bother anyone else? Why is he hanging on to it, and what would you do?
I don't see why it is a problem, I keep stuff from all my exes and would never get rid of them for any boyfriend. It is MY past, and so part of me. I wish to remember it and am not going to deny it never happened.
My current boyfriend won't talk about his past and doesn't tell me whether he keeps anything. However, I found a photo of him with one ex hidden in a cookery book I happened to browse through, and he also has photos of another ex in a folder marked 'past' on his laptop (which I share when I'm there). I couldn't help looking, but I don't mind that he has them! Personally, knowing he kept even a few things made me feel so much better, I'd far rather have a boyfriend who remembered his past and kept love letters/diaries than some freak who pretended his past was of no consequence and had to be forgotten.
I've even got pictures my ex took of me naked, I like to keep them. Not for sexual reasons, but they remind me of our time together and of a time in my life. I don't look at them often, and if there were any of him that i had I'd have kept those too.
My ex boyfriend showed me pictures of him with his ex, and talked about his exes a lot. I liked that, he shared his past with me. It made me more comfortable.
I have diaries, texts, letters, pictures etc relating to my past relationships. They are not revolting, just part of my life - and I will never get rid of them, even if I move in with my boyfriend. I hope I'll still have them to remind me of my youth when I'm 80.
And - maybe he hid them because he thought you'd pry and be bothered? Not that he was right, of course...
(edited 12 years ago)
Why should he get rid of it? They're memories ... 
Unless you like to kid yourself and think you're the only girl he's gone out with 
Unless you like to kid yourself and think you're the only girl he's gone out with Related discussions
- Girl I am talking to still has pictures of her ex on her instagram
- What do girls think of people with tights fetishes?
- My ex wants me back but I’m seeing someone new
- Am I a bad person?
- Is my ex-boyfriend using his new girlfriend for her money?
- How do i deal with this heartbreak?
- Treating my new boyfriend worse than how I treated my ex
- Boyfriend told me his ex is better looking?
- Help with my problem
- How can I cope with my BF (25) joining the British Army?
- Relationship Advice? Am I Overthinking?
- Dating with kids help! 10 year age gap
- Ex
- How to get over her sexual past?
- Boyfriend follows naked women on insta
- How to deal with being painted as the villain of their story?
- I don’t want to leave him but it hurts
- Legally enforceable time limit on staying with boyfriend in halls?
- Relationship issues
- How do I get over my ex?
Latest
Trending
Last reply 6 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 6 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset aboutTrending
Last reply 6 days ago
My friend might be getting extra time and i hate it.Last reply 6 days ago
Just found out about UCL stat test but can't afford to sit itLast reply 2 weeks ago
Dad keeps criticising my university degree choiceLast reply 3 weeks ago
Is this pathetic or genuinely something to be upset about
