I have no friends or social life

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Reply 20

I Persia I

Original post by im so academic

Err. There are other things. No need to be close-minded.

That's rich coming from you.

Reply 21

im so academic

Original post by Deyn_08

What else?

you can only do so much by yourself and work shouldn't be your life. Hell, all work does is stress you out.

Want me to PM you a list?

Well, if you enjoy the work you're doing, then it doesn't stress you out, does it?

Who are you to decide what people consider to be their life?

Reply 22

hunstatham

You're not making sense. Friends are natural, why are you saying that s/he shouldn't have any friends and prefer to be alone?

Reply 23

Elissabeth

I'm sorry, didn't want to read and run, don't have the answers but I do know how you feel.

Your social life doesn't sound that bad. I would be happy with that.

People tend not to go out anything like as much once they're graduates or have got married/had kids etc. Do you really want to be going out every night?

Otherwise, could you change jobs? Some jobs are super-sociable where the people go out together all the time, (tend to be boring jobs though, unfortunately), would you take less money to get a job working in a bar or somewhere?

Reply 24

Anonymous #4

Meh I'm closely the same at the moment. I only take to a single person from high school now and that's only because I work with him. Never speak to anyone from college anymore besides the odd conversation since the day we finished. All I have friends wise is people I've met through the net and stuff that I go out with now and again.

I recently realised in life that I'm never a person to make up with people. Like I've fell out with friends in the past and it's just totally died, never spoke to them again. Where as other people in the group have fallen out and it's suddenly all been okay again in a matter of no time at all magically. In my head it's because they don't respect me very much, and I don't hold alot of value as a friend in terms of what I can do for them. But then again I'd say being friends with someone isn't about what eachother can do for eachother, more just having things in common and having fun doing whatever.

What sucks most in not having many friends is the lack of someone to do stuff with. I'm interested in urbex (google 28dayslater) but sometimes sites are just too dangerous to go alone. Fancy going festivals? I wouldn't have much fun on my own to be totally honest. My phone very rarely starts buzzing with someone wanting to talk to me. If I disappeared for afew days it's 99% likely no one except work would notice.

The longer it goes on though the further I sink. The more unattractive and worthless I feel. The less intelligent (Fcuk me I feel thick as pig**** even with 8 grade C GCSE's compared to some people on here) I feel and the further away from ever having a decent relationship I feel. Last time I was seeing someone was 3 years ago but it was truely awful, wish I had never slept with her and wasted so much £ as she treated me terribly. Before that was another 3 years and even that one had treated me like **** for the last 6 years until recently when I cut her out my life for good, it just had to be done even if I still think about her every bloody day. I've never been on a date and think of it as unthinkable. I'm confident the the face in talking to anyone in shops etc, but taking a girl on a date I can't imagine.

Yet besides having no one that really cares. The lads in work all say I'm awesome etc and really good fun? Always having a laugh with them. I guess if it's an enviroment that they can't choose to have me there or not then I fit in and have endless conversations with whoever about whatever. It's the actual optional social encounters that people count me out of.

Oh well, foundation degree in September possibly, possibly meet some new people etc.

Apologies about ranting, I just started typing and never stopped. First time I've ever actually put anything about this anywhere besides inside my head.

Reply 25

satisverborum2003

I have the same problem. I haven't got that many friends and it can be sad and isolating seeing people magically make friends like it's that easy. However, over the last few days I have come to realise it's to do with mindset. I have realised that during the past few years I have been having a victims mindset. In other words I believed things were happening to me and I have no control. If no one liked me then it's their fault. If people didn't want to hang out with me then it meant no one liked me. However recently I have started to break out of this mindset. I am starting up realise that although not everyone is going to like me there are some things that I myself can do to make some people more likely to like me such as being more friendly outgoing and radiating a positive body language. I am not trying to be fake or manipulative but I am trying to take control back of my life. Read the theory of transactional analysis on the internet. Basically we all have a life script we follow casting us as the loser or the good guy. Few people have the resolve or ability to change their life script dooming them to always repeat the same mistake. By taking control of the situation and saying to yourself that you are not going to be alone anymore you can actually change the situation for the better.