How to deal with bitchy work colleagues?

I am there because I have failed to find or obtain another job and I really do need the money, but luckily I can leave in a couple of months for a placement.
However, I work with 2 girls and 2 guys, and this may sound like a cliché but the guys there are much less bitchy and competitive than the girls, and act mature and professional, even though they are only 16.
I am 21 and the girls are a couple of years younger. The elder girl is kind of our team leader, and I have worked with her for a few years. However, she seems to blow hot and cold with me constantly. I started a few months before her, and when she started, she seemed friendly enough, but in the end it transpired that she just seemed to have something against me for no apparent reason.
She is extremely loud, bolshy and comes across as confident whereas I am shy and quiet, and whilst I have always been polite and civil, I feel intimidated by her and struggle to make conversation.
She has made belittling comments about me indirectly, e..g- for instance I may have accidentally made a mistake/put something in the wrong place, and she will have seen this. Then, she will loudly go “Who the f**k's done this!!”, knowing full well it was me, but saying nothing to my face.
I once caught her sticking her fingers up at me behind my back, and on another occasion, she said loudly how p**d off she was, to the others, just because a friend came in to speak to me for one minute, and the shop was very quiet anyway, and she is constantly messing around herself.
Once, after I had overheard her bitching about me to the others I burst into tears, and then she lied to her manager about what she had actually done, then apologised to me. A few months later, there were occasions where we got on better and I tried to make more of an effort to be louder and take part in conversation. She got me a Christmas card and gift which was very kind of her, and I bought her one in return. Once, I overheard one of the boys asking her why she dislikes me so much. She replied something that implied she really didn't give a damn about me.
There were a few occasions where I had to work alone with her, and I think she seemed to soften and become friendlier, much to my relief, but I stuck up for her once when somebody was being unkind to her, though she never thanked me or showed any kind of gratitude. However, she seems to have suddenly changed again, despite me not having done anything to offend or upset her to my knowledge.
For instance, her, and the other girl, who has no authority over me at all, when I am doing a job, one of them will just walk over and go, “I'LL do that, it's alright.”, not in a kind or helpful way, but in a bossy way. The thing is, I am perfectly capable of doing such jobs myself and these girls think they can just pick and choose whatever jobs they want and try to order me about, because they think they are better than me.
Recently, I chose to mop the shop floor. The team leader girl told the other girl to tell me to stop doing it, because she was doing it, even though nobody had told her to do it, she just decided herself.
I had already finished it though, so I told the girl to tell her. She did, and despite this, when I went to do the next job, the leader went and got the mop and just started doing it again; knowing full well I had already done it.
I was furious, and went to inform her that I had already done it, to which she replied “OK” in a patronising voice. The other girl constantly tries to tell me what to do despite having no power over me at all, and constantly speaks to me in such a patronising manner, even though I am almost four years her senior, e.g., putting on some silly high-pitched voice.

. I have no idea how to deal with these people, because I barely have any sort of backbone to stand up for them, and our manager is young as well, and they both seem to get on very well with her. How would others respond to them? Thanks.

Reply 1

laureng492

Confront them. They will **** themselves so badly, they won't mess with you. Just be like "What's your problem?"

Reply 2

hannah60000

Well all I can say is have a quite word with her after all you said you got on for awhile and see if she takes this into consideration otherwise stick it through and be the mature one don't let it get you down :console:

however see if you can find another job :smile:

I'm not really experience in this area but no point being around people that make you unhappy :h:

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

I think because I have let them do it so much, they just think they can do it whenever they like.
Once, I overheard them having a conversation which sounded seriously like they were laughing at me, and my name was even mentioned in it, and I decided to be very firm with them and confront them. The team leader went absolutely mental at me and the other girl apologised and said it was just meant to be a joke, and I felt so guilty that I apologised loads, even though the other girl should have apologised too.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

She used to also do things like offer everybody a sweet/chewing gum etc. apart from me, and she also sometimes comes in on her days off and virtually blank me but speaks to the others. She was nice to me for a while and it was such a relief, I stopped dreading work, but now she seems to have changed again and I have no idea why. Sadly the other girl and I also used to be friends when we were younger but now she is close to this other girl and seems to have no interest in me. A customer once even asked me quietly if those girls were nice to me..

Reply 5

Sweetcorn_1

Get your boyfriend to come down and shout at them for 5 minutes, or have a friendly talk.

Reply 6

IB_19

Wow, she sounds so classy! :eek:

The best thing to do is to rise above it and don't give her the satisfaction by reacting. She sounds insecure, nasty and poorly brought up; so I wouldn't worry. You will often meet people as brutish as she sounds and it's best to deal with them in a civilised way.

Reply 7

anonperson

I had a similar issue with my old boss, but I realised the reason she was such a **** to me was because she is an ugly ****. The girl who has a problem with you is either also an ugly **** and is jealous of you, has issues going on within herself or her life or is secretely a lesbian and wants to **** you but knows that most likely she cannot, therefore sexual frustration has built up and she takes it out on you. Either way, tell her to back the **** off or get someone else to punch her for you so you don't get charged and end up being sexually harrassed in the prison showers.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

I know she has had family issues and for this reason I do feel sorry for her and wonder if it may have caused her to act in certain ways. She has made the odd sly comment about the 2 guys as well, but I certainly do not think her life outside of work gives her the excuse to pick on me solely for no apparent reason.
I also think I'm being paranoid in the sense that maybe i'm over-reacting, and it is my fault that I have been treated like this because i'm not sociable enough with them.
The job has affected my confidence a great deal, even past staff members were horrid to me for no reason, and when I see them in the street, they just glare at me.

Reply 9

Aeschylus

I had the same when I worked as a part time temp at a big office. It's ridiculous how quick cliques can form and how the littlest things are analyszed and bitched about. My reaction was to keep my head down but I was a lot shyer then

Reply 10

Anonymous #2

Step1: get a black friend
Step 2: get black friend to patrol shop floor
Step 3: ...

Reply 11

username853479

She sounds infuriating. If I worked with her I'd have probably punched her by now.
You are 4 years older than them, you shouldn't be letting them boss you around!

(edited 12 years ago)

Reply 12

HARRY PUTAH

Women are naturally bitchy towards each other.

Put 3 females in a room with one another and fireworks will happen for sure.

Trust me, I've worked with a lot of women.