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Think I'm in love with my best friend (same sex)
I need to make this post anon in case my friend happens to be on here and sees. I don't think she is, but just in case.
I really don't know what to do. I have only known this friend for just under a year, but we have 'lived in each other's' pockets ever since we met. We've helped each other through some tough times, and are very close. I absolutely adore her, but have been in denial about my feelings towards her...partly because I'm female too :/ I haven't been in any relationship before, so not sure as to my sexuality, but I'm pretty sure my friend is straight as she's had a few boyfriends before.
I know I can't tell her, because surely that'll ruin our friendship, but...my feelings are just getting stronger - I'll literally drop whatever I'm doing to go and spend time with her...even just getting a little text or fb comment makes me feel happy. I think about her all the time.
I don't really know what I'm asking in posting this...I guess I'm hoping someone may have some advice, or maybe had been in the same position and could offer some support???
Thank you :/
I really don't know what to do. I have only known this friend for just under a year, but we have 'lived in each other's' pockets ever since we met. We've helped each other through some tough times, and are very close. I absolutely adore her, but have been in denial about my feelings towards her...partly because I'm female too :/ I haven't been in any relationship before, so not sure as to my sexuality, but I'm pretty sure my friend is straight as she's had a few boyfriends before.
I know I can't tell her, because surely that'll ruin our friendship, but...my feelings are just getting stronger - I'll literally drop whatever I'm doing to go and spend time with her...even just getting a little text or fb comment makes me feel happy. I think about her all the time.
I don't really know what I'm asking in posting this...I guess I'm hoping someone may have some advice, or maybe had been in the same position and could offer some support???
Thank you :/
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I was in this position for 2 years. She got a boyfriend and I was so jealous!
It's up to you what you do about it. If you think it'll ruin the relationship, then don't. Bring up bisexual/gay people and see what her opinions on it is.
I eventually told my best friend and we kissed at a couple of parties, but that was as far as it went. When I actually kissed her, I found my feelings started to fizzle out. So maybe it's a more of 'wanting what you can't have' dilemma.
It's up to you what you do about it. If you think it'll ruin the relationship, then don't. Bring up bisexual/gay people and see what her opinions on it is.
I eventually told my best friend and we kissed at a couple of parties, but that was as far as it went. When I actually kissed her, I found my feelings started to fizzle out. So maybe it's a more of 'wanting what you can't have' dilemma.
Lesbian kisses 
Original post by Anonymous
I need to make this post anon in case my friend happens to be on here and sees. I don't think she is, but just in case.
I really don't know what to do. I have only known this friend for just under a year, but we have 'lived in each other's' pockets ever since we met. We've helped each other through some tough times, and are very close. I absolutely adore her, but have been in denial about my feelings towards her...partly because I'm female too :/ I haven't been in any relationship before, so not sure as to my sexuality, but I'm pretty sure my friend is straight as she's had a few boyfriends before.
I know I can't tell her, because surely that'll ruin our friendship, but...my feelings are just getting stronger - I'll literally drop whatever I'm doing to go and spend time with her...even just getting a little text or fb comment makes me feel happy. I think about her all the time.
I don't really know what I'm asking in posting this...I guess I'm hoping someone may have some advice, or maybe had been in the same position and could offer some support???
Thank you :/
I really don't know what to do. I have only known this friend for just under a year, but we have 'lived in each other's' pockets ever since we met. We've helped each other through some tough times, and are very close. I absolutely adore her, but have been in denial about my feelings towards her...partly because I'm female too :/ I haven't been in any relationship before, so not sure as to my sexuality, but I'm pretty sure my friend is straight as she's had a few boyfriends before.
I know I can't tell her, because surely that'll ruin our friendship, but...my feelings are just getting stronger - I'll literally drop whatever I'm doing to go and spend time with her...even just getting a little text or fb comment makes me feel happy. I think about her all the time.
I don't really know what I'm asking in posting this...I guess I'm hoping someone may have some advice, or maybe had been in the same position and could offer some support???
Thank you :/
I feel the exact same way about my best friend, I love them and I care about them so much we always hug each other and I just kiss her on the cheek but I would never tell her that i love her in that way, it would just ruin my friendship but I need her more than anything and she tells me she loves me but I know she's not a lesbian or bi I can never have her in that way, but I'm happy just having her and loving her in a way where I can cuddle her hug her and kiss her on the cheek but she doesn't think I like her in that way so I let it stay the way it is. I would rather have her as a best friend then ever break the friendship I was also confused about my sexuality but I'm sure it's jsut the fact I care so much for her.
I totally understand you, when I get a text from her I stop everything I'm doing just to read it.
As she's had a few boyfriends I don't think it would be wise to tell her, maybe you should just try and contain your feelings, it would probable be too much to risk if you told her you felt that way. I dunno she might see you differently if you tell her you feel like that.
You might just be questioning your sexuality because you have strong feelings for her as you care about her so much, I was confused about my sexuality but I think it's just the way you love a friend and when you care about them?
just do what you feel is right. ask her and if she says no then move on
Thank you so much for all your replies so far..(I am the OP)
You're right, I'm not sure I could ever risk telling her unless it so happened she felt the same...which I don't think she does. I wouldn't want to ruin the friendship and risk losing her altogether....and like you say, then you at least have the 'friendship' love - like when we go out clubbing and have a few to drink, we can get a little bit grindy!!!
I understand what you're saying in that she might be making me question my sexuality, but I have had various occasions of being...'overly attatched' to females in the past, ie a female teacher etc....though no one I've known as well as and spend so much time with as this friend.
I don't know. It's really difficult. I swear it's obvious, but maybe it just seems like that to me... Part of me wants to find out if she is bi or whether she's ever had similar feelings for a friend etc...she probably hasn't, but I really want to know. But...how do you bring something like that up in conversation???! I know she kinda knows someone else who's bi, as isn't againist it, but she doesn't know her that well, and am sure she'd feel differently if she knew she was the one being 'fancied'!! :/
Original post by Anonymous
I feel the exact same way about my best friend, I love them and I care about them so much we always hug each other and I just kiss her on the cheek but I would never tell her that i love her in that way, it would just ruin my friendship but I need her more than anything and she tells me she loves me but I know she's not a lesbian or bi I can never have her in that way, but I'm happy just having her and loving her in a way where I can cuddle her hug her and kiss her on the cheek but she doesn't think I like her in that way so I let it stay the way it is. I would rather have her as a best friend then ever break the friendship I was also confused about my sexuality but I'm sure it's jsut the fact I care so much for her.
I totally understand you, when I get a text from her I stop everything I'm doing just to read it.
As she's had a few boyfriends I don't think it would be wise to tell her, maybe you should just try and contain your feelings, it would probable be too much to risk if you told her you felt that way. I dunno she might see you differently if you tell her you feel like that.
You might just be questioning your sexuality because you have strong feelings for her as you care about her so much, I was confused about my sexuality but I think it's just the way you love a friend and when you care about them?
I totally understand you, when I get a text from her I stop everything I'm doing just to read it.
As she's had a few boyfriends I don't think it would be wise to tell her, maybe you should just try and contain your feelings, it would probable be too much to risk if you told her you felt that way. I dunno she might see you differently if you tell her you feel like that.
You might just be questioning your sexuality because you have strong feelings for her as you care about her so much, I was confused about my sexuality but I think it's just the way you love a friend and when you care about them?
You're right, I'm not sure I could ever risk telling her unless it so happened she felt the same...which I don't think she does. I wouldn't want to ruin the friendship and risk losing her altogether....and like you say, then you at least have the 'friendship' love - like when we go out clubbing and have a few to drink, we can get a little bit grindy!!!
I understand what you're saying in that she might be making me question my sexuality, but I have had various occasions of being...'overly attatched' to females in the past, ie a female teacher etc....though no one I've known as well as and spend so much time with as this friend.
I don't know. It's really difficult. I swear it's obvious, but maybe it just seems like that to me... Part of me wants to find out if she is bi or whether she's ever had similar feelings for a friend etc...she probably hasn't, but I really want to know. But...how do you bring something like that up in conversation???! I know she kinda knows someone else who's bi, as isn't againist it, but she doesn't know her that well, and am sure she'd feel differently if she knew she was the one being 'fancied'!! :/
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you so much for all your replies so far..(I am the OP)
You're right, I'm not sure I could ever risk telling her unless it so happened she felt the same...which I don't think she does. I wouldn't want to ruin the friendship and risk losing her altogether....and like you say, then you at least have the 'friendship' love - like when we go out clubbing and have a few to drink, we can get a little bit grindy!!!
I understand what you're saying in that she might be making me question my sexuality, but I have had various occasions of being...'overly attatched' to females in the past, ie a female teacher etc....though no one I've known as well as and spend so much time with as this friend.
I don't know. It's really difficult. I swear it's obvious, but maybe it just seems like that to me... Part of me wants to find out if she is bi or whether she's ever had similar feelings for a friend etc...she probably hasn't, but I really want to know. But...how do you bring something like that up in conversation???! I know she kinda knows someone else who's bi, as isn't againist it, but she doesn't know her that well, and am sure she'd feel differently if she knew she was the one being 'fancied'!! :/
You're right, I'm not sure I could ever risk telling her unless it so happened she felt the same...which I don't think she does. I wouldn't want to ruin the friendship and risk losing her altogether....and like you say, then you at least have the 'friendship' love - like when we go out clubbing and have a few to drink, we can get a little bit grindy!!!
I understand what you're saying in that she might be making me question my sexuality, but I have had various occasions of being...'overly attatched' to females in the past, ie a female teacher etc....though no one I've known as well as and spend so much time with as this friend.
I don't know. It's really difficult. I swear it's obvious, but maybe it just seems like that to me... Part of me wants to find out if she is bi or whether she's ever had similar feelings for a friend etc...she probably hasn't, but I really want to know. But...how do you bring something like that up in conversation???! I know she kinda knows someone else who's bi, as isn't againist it, but she doesn't know her that well, and am sure she'd feel differently if she knew she was the one being 'fancied'!! :/
Lol well I guess if you feel like you wouldn't want to risk it then don't. But if you honeslt feel like you love her in that way and your feelings get deeper and you don't want to keep them in then you could drop subtle hints
If you've felt like that about other people then I guess you feeling like that about your friend is probably 'love'. I'm not sure... But it could really ruin your friendship if you tell her, like say you go clubbing and she might see you differently if you're dancing with her. But you said she is okay with another person who is bi. Y
ou should try bring it up into conversation if you really wanna know, just like play truth or dare or 'would you ever' and ask her some questions you never know what she could say. She might see you differently but I remember reading a quote saying something like 'nothing hurts more than loving someone and not being able to tell them'...I suppose you only live once, if you wanna risk your friendship then before you do anything try to get to know what she thinks of those relationships...
Original post by Anonymous
did you forget to put it on anon? incase your worried about her seeing this if she's even on it then delete it or something its probably the wisest thing to do 
OMG *******, thank you for realising this :/ I'm pretty sure she's not on here, but yeah, just in case. Would you mind deleting your post that tells me this as I'm quoted in it :/ thank you. sorry.
You will find yourself in situations like this over and over again... I'd try to talk to her, be alone just you and her... Try do think of something almost romantic... But not overly so, and you will notice if she is comfortable with it...
I feel the same too. The feeling of attracted to someone of the same gender surfaced when I was in high school. It then faded soon after. However, as I was pursuing my study at a tertiary level, this feeling resurfaced when I met this girl who became my close friend till now. I could say it was love at first sight. I have had tried to forget about how I feel towards her but I can't as she's always there in my mind. Why? Because I'm sure she's not into me and would only regards me as her friend and not anything besides that for she's straight and pious. To tell the truth, when I was in high school, this same sex attraction wasn't as strong as my feeling for her right now. I don't know how to get of of this and I too need your help.
I feel the same too. The feeling of attracted to someone of the same gender surfaced when I was in high school. It then faded soon after. However, as I was pursuing my study at a tertiary level, this feeling resurfaced when I met this girl who became my close friend till now. I could say it was love at first sight. I have had tried to forget about how I feel towards her but I can't as she's always there in my mind. Why? Because I'm sure she's not into me and would only regards me as her friend and not anything besides that for she's straight and pious. To tell the truth, when I was in high school, this same sex attraction wasn't as strong as my feeling for her right now. I don't know how to get of of this and I too need your help.
I've been on the receiving end of this problem as my best friend an I were really close and had sleepovers and junk and told each other secrets but when I went over for a sleepover once she admitted she liked me and I wasn't sure on my feeling (still aren't!) so we kissed and she told me she loved me but I didn't say it back and it made things really awkward... But we're good now so it's ok, my advice is to just take it slow and ask her first don't just kiss her as that puts her in a horrible position.
Original post by MPH125
Anytime you are around her, you should just have Jenny by Studio Killers on repeat, that should get the message across lmao
That's what I do.
If you love someone no matter who it is you have to tell them if you keep something like love in side it will destroy you if she was you true friend she would understand evan if she is not in to girls you will never know for sure in less you tell her I have been throw the same thing last yer with my bff I told her and we went on dates and we kissed it was amazing for me but not for her she siad she just not in to girl that way but she will all be my best friend and every thing went back to normal and I am dating someone now and every thing ok so just tell her if doesn't understand you don't need her af gf or bff
SO I thought I was straight till I meet this one girl at school the first time I met her I felt like I have known her for years I’m always comfortable around her she makes me happy like if nothing around me matter but her I would spend any time with her even if it’s just 30 sec I would stop doing anything and run to her she’s my first thought when I wake up and she’s my last thought when I go to sleep idk what it is about her I’m just so happy when I’m with her words can’t explain it I love being with her she’s just so amazing her smile, her laugh, her hair she’s just perfect but ever since she got a boyfriend she got distance with me we’re not that close no more we talk but not like we used to it’s just not the same since she started dating him and I just get mad when she leaves me for him when she’s with him or when he kisses her it makes me mad that we aren’t like we used to but I still value every minute I’m with her
THIS IS SO WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH ME!I've never fell in love befire, but I'm scared I'm falling from my friend.We kissed on the other night (We were both drunk) and I just keep reliving the moment. I'm bi, so I'm not confused about my sexuality. She's straight but she's be wanting to be with a girl for a while. Sometimes I think she feels something (She clearly acts differently with me compared to her other friends, is always telling my I'm pretty and is very touchy), but then she goes on a date with a guy I think she only likes me as a friend. Is just too hard! like most ppl said, I dont wanna lose her in my life, but I also dont wanna miss on an oportunity.
Original post by JessicaYuv
THIS IS SO WHAT'S HAPPENING WITH ME!I've never fell in love befire, but I'm scared I'm falling from my friend.We kissed on the other night (We were both drunk) and I just keep reliving the moment. I'm bi, so I'm not confused about my sexuality. She's straight but she's be wanting to be with a girl for a while. Sometimes I think she feels something (She clearly acts differently with me compared to her other friends, is always telling my I'm pretty and is very touchy), but then she goes on a date with a guy I think she only likes me as a friend. Is just too hard! like most ppl said, I dont wanna lose her in my life, but I also dont wanna miss on an oportunity.
Can i ask you, did you ever tried to tell her, since you made this post?
Ive done that
Wow what do you do? Follow your heart, I have a best friend I love with all my heart my soul.when we first met we were just good friends going out drinking etc etc I find out she bi and I was against that. That’s when I developed feelings for her feelings I didn’t understand. I ended up telling her, one don’t ever do it after a night of drinking not smart. Anyways I did and we got in a huge fight a lot was said. We ended up not talking for 5 weeks so I tried to let my feeling bottle up. So we continue our friendship for 5 months I started to get jealous of guys she was dating I realized again dam you need to stop. Well long story short I caught her in a lie we got in a huge fight and this time we didn’t talk for 5 months, this time around sucked cause I lost my best friend. She was curious about me and what I was doing etc etc I missed her.So we met up and it was awkward. We started the friendship back up slowly and as we are doing this I still have the feelings for her. Now I learned how to keep them with in myself cause I rather have her as my friend then never have her in my life.We tell each other we love each other but my love is more deeper but there are times she loves me more than I know but I can’t continue to hurt myself. Anyways she wantedTo experience my church so we went together and it was a beautiful experience. It felt like a couple thing to do what do I do? Continue to love her and myself that’s all I can do. So you to need to do it. It’s better to have them in your life then letting your mind get the best of you and lose them.
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