Is it just me that ALWAYS feels alone?
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Original post by her
Today it has really hit me I have no friends. Not even a single one. All the people in my life use me, literally. Nothing has changed since primary school. Everyone always came to me when they had a problem, upset and all that bs. But I was never ever invited to their parties, sleepovers, called to come out on a night out, literally NOTHING. Has anything changed over the years? No way. I am now 18, have no group of friends, don't get invited anywhere, when I do they change the destination and don't tell me.
I literally have no one. My family well, I would be typing all day if I was to even explain.
Now at university and I still haven't made friends. I thought I did but they never invite me anywhere but are always the first to tell me what they done.
God will I die alone. I feel so lonely. To be fair all I have is my counselling service.
Now my rant is over, does anyone feel the way I do? Constantly sad, alone and depressed?
I mean the moment I get some self-esteem something or someone reminds me that I don't fit in or makes me feel like a bigger loner.
I literally have no one. My family well, I would be typing all day if I was to even explain.
Now at university and I still haven't made friends. I thought I did but they never invite me anywhere but are always the first to tell me what they done.
God will I die alone. I feel so lonely. To be fair all I have is my counselling service.
Now my rant is over, does anyone feel the way I do? Constantly sad, alone and depressed?
I mean the moment I get some self-esteem something or someone reminds me that I don't fit in or makes me feel like a bigger loner.
Original post by Stephybabes
awww :-( im sorry. i feel the same sometimes. pm me whenever u want xx
Original post by Nightingale
I am in the exact same position as you, you are not alone. 
I have no group of friends, never had a boyfriend, don't go out anywhere.
I was hoping all this would have changed once I get into uni, but if it's stayed the same for you, I'm getting worried.
My only motivation to do well in my A-levels now was the prospect of having a great social life at uni. *sigh*
Sorry I can't help in a practical way, but I do hope it makes you feel just slightly better knowing you are not alone. Perhaps if my lonely life helps you feel better about yours, than maybe that could make me feel more useful in a way. But please keep your hopes high, and feel free to talk to me if you need and want to.
I have no group of friends, never had a boyfriend, don't go out anywhere. I was hoping all this would have changed once I get into uni, but if it's stayed the same for you, I'm getting worried.
My only motivation to do well in my A-levels now was the prospect of having a great social life at uni. *sigh*Sorry I can't help in a practical way, but I do hope it makes you feel just slightly better knowing you are not alone. Perhaps if my lonely life helps you feel better about yours, than maybe that could make me feel more useful in a way.
But please keep your hopes high, and feel free to talk to me if you need and want to.i will be all your friends
Original post by Linzikins
I feel like this quite a lot my friends have gone off to different uni's or we have just naturally grown apart. I have a few friends but I don't see them often as we all work different shifts and live in different places etc. I have a boyfriend but I end up relying on him too much because when he's not around I feel lonely and like I cant escape from my crappy life.
Since i've noticed this i've tried to change. I lost contact with a few close friends and I've started texting them again and now we meet up every few weeks. Whenever I can I talk to people at work and feel closer to them than I used to tbh. Not going to lie and say that makes me feel all sociable and amazing because it doesn't but getting out the house is always good.
Just don't hold yourself back! Try to join in with things at uni, society's etc.
Just inbox me if you wanna talk to someone
Since i've noticed this i've tried to change. I lost contact with a few close friends and I've started texting them again and now we meet up every few weeks. Whenever I can I talk to people at work and feel closer to them than I used to tbh. Not going to lie and say that makes me feel all sociable and amazing because it doesn't but getting out the house is always good.
Just don't hold yourself back! Try to join in with things at uni, society's etc.
Just inbox me if you wanna talk to someone
yeah, same here, boyfriend gets the brunt of it
BUT....you can be happy alone, look, I know you don't want to be alone, and you don't have to be, you can make friends, but also, while you're alone you can be happy, a different kind of happiness, but I think you can feel content to a point. Well...I try to be
I have no one, like you, only my family in this crap phase in my life, and even when I had a long term hgirlfriend, I pushed her away because I relied on her so much and her friendship group. Thats depressing. -.-''.
But, you can make friends, how? Well, basically just go out of the house all the time! I'm saying this because last year I had an amazing social life, I was out practially 14 hours everyday of the week, from being sat in my bedroom listening to depressing music on a saturday night, I went to being out at partys every weeknight, even with work in the mornings.
How did I do this? Basically, when I was alone, I just went outside, walked in the city, went to a bar to use the wifi, or went to watch a local football match, shopping, whatever....and you know what? If you're out ALL THE TIME you WILL meet people and people WILL start talking to you.
I made my group of friends last year, because one night about 1am (yes a strange time :/) I was out, just for a stroll, and came across this group of people my age, and one drunk girl shouted "HEY! I've seen you walking round her a few times, come over!".....And yeah, it went from there.....they were normally in this place everynight, so I started going there everynight and before you knew it I was with friends everyday, and had a great social life. OK, it is quite lucky that they was my type of people too.
Unfortunatly I had to move away from this place and now I'm alone again
So, my adivce, is simply go outside....like, all the time, and meet people. Then when you have friends obviously you don't have to make a ton of effort, and be outside all the time haha. But, if you wna make friends your gona have to put in all that effort. I'm sorry.
I have no one, like you, only my family in this crap phase in my life, and even when I had a long term hgirlfriend, I pushed her away because I relied on her so much and her friendship group. Thats depressing. -.-''.
But, you can make friends, how? Well, basically just go out of the house all the time! I'm saying this because last year I had an amazing social life, I was out practially 14 hours everyday of the week, from being sat in my bedroom listening to depressing music on a saturday night, I went to being out at partys every weeknight, even with work in the mornings.
How did I do this? Basically, when I was alone, I just went outside, walked in the city, went to a bar to use the wifi, or went to watch a local football match, shopping, whatever....and you know what? If you're out ALL THE TIME you WILL meet people and people WILL start talking to you.
I made my group of friends last year, because one night about 1am (yes a strange time :/) I was out, just for a stroll, and came across this group of people my age, and one drunk girl shouted "HEY! I've seen you walking round her a few times, come over!".....And yeah, it went from there.....they were normally in this place everynight, so I started going there everynight and before you knew it I was with friends everyday, and had a great social life. OK, it is quite lucky that they was my type of people too.
Unfortunatly I had to move away from this place and now I'm alone again
So, my adivce, is simply go outside....like, all the time, and meet people. Then when you have friends obviously you don't have to make a ton of effort, and be outside all the time haha. But, if you wna make friends your gona have to put in all that effort. I'm sorry.
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by her
Today it has really hit me I have no friends. Not even a single one. All the people in my life use me, literally. Nothing has changed since primary school. Everyone always came to me when they had a problem, upset and all that bs. But I was never ever invited to their parties, sleepovers, called to come out on a night out, literally NOTHING. Has anything changed over the years? No way. I am now 18, have no group of friends, don't get invited anywhere, when I do they change the destination and don't tell me.
I literally have no one. My family well, I would be typing all day if I was to even explain.
Now at university and I still haven't made friends. I thought I did but they never invite me anywhere but are always the first to tell me what they done.
God will I die alone. I feel so lonely. To be fair all I have is my counselling service.
Now my rant is over, does anyone feel the way I do? Constantly sad, alone and depressed?
I mean the moment I get some self-esteem something or someone reminds me that I don't fit in or makes me feel like a bigger loner.
I literally have no one. My family well, I would be typing all day if I was to even explain.
Now at university and I still haven't made friends. I thought I did but they never invite me anywhere but are always the first to tell me what they done.
God will I die alone. I feel so lonely. To be fair all I have is my counselling service.
Now my rant is over, does anyone feel the way I do? Constantly sad, alone and depressed?
I mean the moment I get some self-esteem something or someone reminds me that I don't fit in or makes me feel like a bigger loner.
I know it can sometimes be hard to make friends but why dont you try and be the one to arrange some nights out with those that you would occassionally go out with?
Another thing to try could be to get a hobby where socialising is common place i.e. rugby, rowing, football etc
I'm always up for making new friends, so if youre still struggling then give me a shout
I know how you feel. At the moment I honestly can't really say that I feel I have a best friend or close group of friends anymore. All through my childhood I was always drifting between friendship groups and different best friends, and also had plenty of extended periods of time being a loner. Now that school has finished over a year ago and everyone's moved on to uni, college or work, I hardly see anyone, only on the very occasional times. And I have tried inviting people to things but they've either ignored my messages or have some excuse that they can't come. So yeah I feel like I'm in a slight loner phase again now. It's alright going to things like shopping and library by myself, but it sucks that I can't really go clubbing cos it's not something you can really do alone is it? And it's weird that I have about 200 Facebook friends but hardly really talk to anyone on it, I just mostly use it for interacting on musicians' and companies' fan pages.I think I have slightly bad social skills in that I can find it hard to get people to like me, and for it to last as well. And don't get me started on romantic relationships - those just never happen for me
. I think it's something a bit boring or weird about me, I dunno. When I get a job (if that ever happens anyway lol) and start earning money, I'm planning on joining a club or two to learn a new hobby and meet new people. You could do that too, especially with uni being full of societies? I also might go off on a travelling adventure in the near future if my job prospects don't improve soon enough.If you really want, I could be your friend. I also live in London, and don't worry I don't bite
(edited 12 years ago)
Original post by CherryCherryBoomBoom I know how you feel. At the moment I honestly can't really say that I feel I have a best friend or close group of friends anymore. All through my childhood I was always drifting between friendship groups and different best friends, and also had plenty of extended periods of time being a loner. Now that school has finished over a year ago and everyone's moved on to uni, college or work, I hardly see anyone, only on the very occasional times. And I have tried inviting people to things but they've either ignored my messages or have some excuse that they can't come. So yeah I feel like I'm in a slight loner phase again now. It's alright going to things like shopping and library by myself, but it sucks that I can't really go clubbing cos it's not something you can really do alone is it? And it's weird that I have about 200 Facebook friends but hardly really talk to anyone on it, I just mostly use it for interacting on musicians' and companies' fan pages.
I think I have slightly bad social skills in that I can find it hard to get people to like me, and for it to last as well. And don't get me started on romantic relationships - those just never happen for me. I think it's something a bit boring or weird about me, I dunno. When I get a job (if that ever happens anyway lol) and start earning money, I'm planning on joining a club or two to learn a new hobby and meet new people. You could do that too, especially with uni being full of societies? I also might go off on a travelling adventure in the near future if my job prospects don't improve soon enough.
If you really want, I could be your friend. I also live in London, and don't worry I don't bite
I know how you feel. At the moment I honestly can't really say that I feel I have a best friend or close group of friends anymore. All through my childhood I was always drifting between friendship groups and different best friends, and also had plenty of extended periods of time being a loner. Now that school has finished over a year ago and everyone's moved on to uni, college or work, I hardly see anyone, only on the very occasional times. And I have tried inviting people to things but they've either ignored my messages or have some excuse that they can't come. So yeah I feel like I'm in a slight loner phase again now. It's alright going to things like shopping and library by myself, but it sucks that I can't really go clubbing cos it's not something you can really do alone is it? And it's weird that I have about 200 Facebook friends but hardly really talk to anyone on it, I just mostly use it for interacting on musicians' and companies' fan pages.I think I have slightly bad social skills in that I can find it hard to get people to like me, and for it to last as well. And don't get me started on romantic relationships - those just never happen for me
. I think it's something a bit boring or weird about me, I dunno. When I get a job (if that ever happens anyway lol) and start earning money, I'm planning on joining a club or two to learn a new hobby and meet new people. You could do that too, especially with uni being full of societies? I also might go off on a travelling adventure in the near future if my job prospects don't improve soon enough.If you really want, I could be your friend. I also live in London, and don't worry I don't bite
i know what u mean about feeling like its ur fault ur alone cos u seem to have bad social skills or something, i feel the same! im not really sure if it is us for real though. maybe we just need to wait for the right people to come along.
If people tell you about events or something just ask politely 'Is it OK if I come?'. Once you've been with them a few times they're more likely to invite you in the future.
However besides that I feel the same at times, although I do get invited to events and such (usually anyway) I've never really felt a full part of the group, I'm usually the one invited to either make up the numbers, or because everyone wants someone to make jokes about.
However besides that I feel the same at times, although I do get invited to events and such (usually anyway) I've never really felt a full part of the group, I'm usually the one invited to either make up the numbers, or because everyone wants someone to make jokes about.
Original post by rj1990
How did I do this? Basically, when I was alone, I just went outside, walked in the city, went to a bar to use the wifi, or went to watch a local football match, shopping, whatever....and you know what? If you're out ALL THE TIME you WILL meet people and people WILL start talking to you.
I made my group of friends last year, because one night about 1am (yes a strange time :/) I was out, just for a stroll, and came across this group of people my age, and one drunk girl shouted "HEY! I've seen you walking round her a few times, come over!".....And yeah, it went from there.....they were normally in this place everynight, so I started going there everynight and before you knew it I was with friends everyday, and had a great social life. OK, it is quite lucky that they was my type of people too.
Unfortunatly I had to move away from this place and now I'm alone again
So, my adivce, is simply go outside....like, all the time, and meet people. Then when you have friends obviously you don't have to make a ton of effort, and be outside all the time haha. But, if you wna make friends your gona have to put in all that effort. I'm sorry.
How did I do this? Basically, when I was alone, I just went outside, walked in the city, went to a bar to use the wifi, or went to watch a local football match, shopping, whatever....and you know what? If you're out ALL THE TIME you WILL meet people and people WILL start talking to you.
I made my group of friends last year, because one night about 1am (yes a strange time :/) I was out, just for a stroll, and came across this group of people my age, and one drunk girl shouted "HEY! I've seen you walking round her a few times, come over!".....And yeah, it went from there.....they were normally in this place everynight, so I started going there everynight and before you knew it I was with friends everyday, and had a great social life. OK, it is quite lucky that they was my type of people too.
Unfortunatly I had to move away from this place and now I'm alone again
So, my adivce, is simply go outside....like, all the time, and meet people. Then when you have friends obviously you don't have to make a ton of effort, and be outside all the time haha. But, if you wna make friends your gona have to put in all that effort. I'm sorry.
Your story sounds cool, but unfortunately we do have a bit of a weird culture in this country, or at least where I'm from in London/Kent where no one ever really speaks to random strangers out in public. Like, it's too weird to start having a conversation with some random stranger on the bus, in the streets or somewhere like that. You just don't do it - it's like some unwritten code. The only time people will happily speak to new people is in places like school/college/uni, clubs and groups, work, through friends and family in any situation, and maybe in pubs and clubs (I don't really go to them often enough though). There's also talking to staff in shops and stations and stuff but that's just usually for professional reasons and I guess doesn't really count. Do you get me?
Not saying I agree with it by the way, just pointing out that this is something I've observed and I kinda wonder why it's like this.
EDIT: OK, I read some of the 1st page again and only just realised that someone has already said pretty much the exact same as me, haha. Sorry for repeating things then!
(edited 12 years ago)
Story of my life. Did not have any friends until I got to Uni, not one, and now I'm graduated and back at home... back to square one. All my friends scattered to the four winds, and as time passes so does the friendship.
Never had a girlfriend either, which is unlikely to change.
So no, you are not alone. Or rather, you are alone, but there are others in the same boat. The irony of isolation?
Never had a girlfriend either, which is unlikely to change.
So no, you are not alone. Or rather, you are alone, but there are others in the same boat. The irony of isolation?
(edited 12 years ago)
nope, i feel alone too. Wait- i am alone. Lets be honest- everyone use's us, when they dont need us they ditch us. or in other words, everyone is a c*nt.
Original post by Foo.mp3
Sometimes I feel alone..
..but then I remember that I'm AWESOME!
..but then I remember that I'm AWESOME!
you must be The Miz?
Original post by her
x
I know exactly what you mean. I thought I was going to University this September, but a couple of days before my course was due to start I had an occupational health appointment and they deemed me as unfit to start my course, so I've been forced to take a gap year which I've not planned for. My friends were already at University last year (I had to take a 3rd year at college) so I got used to not seeing them, but we don't talk any more because they've simply found their own friends.
I'm just having to push through this year so I can fulfil my deferred place in 2012, I'm lucky that I have a part time job but other than that I have nothing else.
Thing is, like some others on this thread, I've realised that the people I thought were my friends were never very good ones. The reason for failing the health check and doing an extra year of college is because I've been in and out of hospitals for anorexia and other rubbish - my friends never visited me or gave a **** which made me feel worse, so realistically I'm better off without them.
Regardless of that, I do make the effort to text them, arrange catch ups etc but if they don't want to meet up I can't force them.
I have one friend. I've never been to a house party or club. In school my friends never invited me anywhere and they used to talk about me behind my back. In college I made some better friends but they didn't invite me anywhere because one guy kept saying that "I might not want to come" for some reason. Lol. I haven't spoken to my college friends in ages though because I deleted my Facebook. Apparently I'm going out clubbing on New Years with my cousin and her friends, that should be fun...!
Original post by hamijack
You realise you actually have to approach people to make friends with them. People generally won't just come up to you. YOU have to go out and take responsibility for making your friends and going out. Just being at uni doesn't automatically make you a social beast, you need to work on that.
Original post by iPhone
I've realised that this only applies to British society. I have been around the world and number of times I have been spoken to by strangers is more than I have been here in the UK. There's just something about our weird society which causes no one to talk to each other.
Both QFT.
Original post by her
It is so sad reading everyone's post here. I wish I could say it would all get better but I am just not in the position.
All I hope and pray is that I find some sort of peace and find what I am looking for and the same to you all.
It is true, no one said life would be easy.
All I hope and pray is that I find some sort of peace and find what I am looking for and the same to you all.
It is true, no one said life would be easy.
You should realise that half of life's stress comes from your social life. I hope you find some like-minded people in the end, but be warned that it has its ups and downs. One thing it probably won't do, by definition, is bring you peace!
Eh, i guess some people are just like that or maybe a lot of people are like that but it bothers some more than others. I lost all my school friends then made ones at college, then when i left college all but one rarely ever contacted me and now, over a year after college, i barely see that one. I decided smoking weed, getting drunk and going out to places to do the former was no longer top of my things to do list, so as a friend, we don't have the same social circle anymore. I'd still call him a friend but i only really see him every few months (probably because neither of us can be arsed contacting each other).
Is there a club you can join, OP? Something you are interested in to meet like minded people? Could get a pen pal or something or haunt TSR. You sound like you need that whole being invited out thing, is more needy than myself, are you maybe a bit too clingy or needy? Not picking on you just saying, some people are put off by that.
Yes, i too feel alone at times and often wish i had one of those fascinating social lives where im always doing something, going out for a meal or seeing something interesting, but then reality kicks in and i remember most people = ****
Is there a club you can join, OP? Something you are interested in to meet like minded people? Could get a pen pal or something or haunt TSR. You sound like you need that whole being invited out thing, is more needy than myself, are you maybe a bit too clingy or needy? Not picking on you just saying, some people are put off by that.
Yes, i too feel alone at times and often wish i had one of those fascinating social lives where im always doing something, going out for a meal or seeing something interesting, but then reality kicks in and i remember most people = ****
There are a lot of people in your position.
I sometimes feel alone, really cut off from friends, socially retarded compared to some of them.
Over and over, then something annoys me and i just can't get out of a bad mood. Been in one for two days now. Got various work to finish for 6th form for after half term (Tomorrow... ) And I just don't have the motivation/drive to do it. So I spent practically all of yesterday locked up in my room doing nothing, at all. I start wondering whether I've made the right choices, start thinking and convincing myself that I haven't done well at all (Exam results, not having a job).
It's pretty crap to be honest, my half term started so well too. I'm off now to try do some schoolwork, but I just lack any kind of motivation and question everything, I'm so cynical, glass half empty, everything!
Over and over, then something annoys me and i just can't get out of a bad mood. Been in one for two days now. Got various work to finish for 6th form for after half term (Tomorrow...
) And I just don't have the motivation/drive to do it. So I spent practically all of yesterday locked up in my room doing nothing, at all. I start wondering whether I've made the right choices, start thinking and convincing myself that I haven't done well at all (Exam results, not having a job).It's pretty crap to be honest, my half term started so well too.
I'm off now to try do some schoolwork, but I just lack any kind of motivation and question everything, I'm so cynical, glass half empty, everything! Original post by Jim-Jam
I sometimes feel alone, really cut off from friends, socially retarded compared to some of them.
Over and over, then something annoys me and i just can't get out of a bad mood. Been in one for two days now. Got various work to finish for 6th form for after half term (Tomorrow... ) And I just don't have the motivation/drive to do it. So I spent practically all of yesterday locked up in my room doing nothing, at all. I start wondering whether I've made the right choices, start thinking and convincing myself that I haven't done well at all (Exam results, not having a job).
It's pretty crap to be honest, my half term started so well too. I'm off now to try do some schoolwork, but I just lack any kind of motivation and question everything, I'm so cynical, glass half empty, everything!
Over and over, then something annoys me and i just can't get out of a bad mood. Been in one for two days now. Got various work to finish for 6th form for after half term (Tomorrow...
) And I just don't have the motivation/drive to do it. So I spent practically all of yesterday locked up in my room doing nothing, at all. I start wondering whether I've made the right choices, start thinking and convincing myself that I haven't done well at all (Exam results, not having a job).It's pretty crap to be honest, my half term started so well too.
I'm off now to try do some schoolwork, but I just lack any kind of motivation and question everything, I'm so cynical, glass half empty, everything! Everything happens for a reason. You just need to keep your chin up.
(which i know is easier said than done- but it's the only way. )Quick Reply
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