What time is right to tell him i'm abstinent?

i don't go to uni until 2013 so...i think i might google it actually and hope to find one or i might have to go thru this a lot more often

By no sex, she doesn't just mean until marriage. That I could just about understand. She doesn't want sex AT ALL. Not after marriage or anything

can i just make it clear that i meant i won't have sex until i'm married, not that i won't have sex ever! can't imagine that

Why do people mix up marriage with love so much? To be in love is how you feel about each other and that you are commited, and you can establish that without getting married. Sex before marriage is the path of the ultimate romantic because you're giving every part of yourself to a person..

I'm tired of people saying men are all about sex. Sex isn't a bad thing. Besides, to say or suggest that men are fundamentally that way denies women their sexuality and treats men like animals. Any good man hearing a woman say that kind of thing would find her a prig...and not without reason.

I think the OP should let the man know her views straight up rather than lead him along for too long. Not everyone is compatible and establishing the important facts from the offset is essential because it saves heartache. If the man chooses not to pursue with that knowledge then it is no blot on his character. Issues like views on sex are make or break factors.

I must say that I strongly disagree with the OP's views. She should talk to like-minded people but also be open to people who don't agree. Morality is fluid and we should all be open to hearing different opinions.

By no sex, she doesn't just mean until marriage. That I could just about understand. She doesn't want sex AT ALL. Not after marriage or anything

Ignore everyone on here, not all relationships are based on sex and not all guys are after just that. I think you should bring it up soon, just say that you've always wanted to wait til after you're married to have sex. He might respect your decision. If he walks away then it's his loss.
Don't ever do anything you feel like you're not ready to do (especially not so soon into the start of a relationship) and don't not tell him just because you're scared of losing him. I hope things works out for you .

No hard feelings, think about it from his point of view. Asking a guy who wants sex to stay in a relationship with you while you don't could be considered a little selfish. I'm not suggesting you are selfish, what I'm saying is that you needed to have told him straight from the off. I'm going to be honest, most likely he might leave, but if he doesn't share the same views as you he's not going to be right for you. Lack of sex when both parties don't want it is fine, but lack of sex when one person does and doesn't causes huge strain on a relationship and most of the time leads to a breakup.

The people before suggesting focus groups are right hunny, you need to find a guy with the same mindset as you.
I'd suggest you sit down and tell him immediately, over a coffee or something ya' know. You never know, it could turn out that he doesn't actually mind. Though it is unlikely..

I don't get why you said you 'don't do sex, ever' if you meant no sex before marriage.

I'm in the same boat as you, no sex before marriage, and I made the mistake of making it clear at the beginning that sex wasn't an option. Some people may say it's only fair to put your cards on the table at the start - but in my case, it led to the guy in question using me for what he could get (making out etc - he knew what I felt comfortable with but pushed the boundaries and I was too inexperienced and felt too intimidated to do what I should have done and told him to stop) and then not being interested anymore. So in future, I'll let the guy know from the beginning what religion I am, so he's got a hint about my ideas about sex, but not properly discuss the no sex issue until we've made something of a commitment to each other. if you tell him right from the start, he'll probably not be interested. Whereas if you tell him when you've got to know and like each other a little more, he might think you're worth it regardless and want to stay with you. If he doesn't know you very well and isn't sure he really likes you, saying no sex will make him run for the hills and he won't bother sticking around to see whether you actually would make a good couple.

I thought there might actually be more people who would be willing to stay abstinent in a relationship for their partners, looks like it's all about the sex I'll tell him next time I see him

I'm in the same boat as you, no sex before marriage, and I made the mistake of making it clear at the beginning that sex wasn't an option. Some people may say it's only fair to put your cards on the table at the start - but in my case, it led to the guy in question using me for what he could get (making out etc - he knew what I felt comfortable with but pushed the boundaries and I was too inexperienced and felt too intimidated to do what I should have done and told him to stop) and then not being interested anymore.

So in future, I'll let the guy know from the beginning what religion I am, so he's got a hint about my ideas about sex, but not properly discuss the no sex issue until we've made something of a commitment to each other. if you tell him right from the start, he'll probably not be interested. Whereas if you tell him when you've got to know and like each other a little more, he might think you're worth it regardless and want to stay with you. If he doesn't know you very well and isn't sure he really likes you, saying no sex will make him run for the hills and he won't bother sticking around to see whether you actually would make a good couple.

can i just make it clear that i meant i won't have sex until i'm married, not that i won't have sex ever! can't imagine that

ugh, this is going to be hard why do relationships have to hinge on sex!

I already corrected that, I meant "no sex until marriage" I'm not asexual :/

I don't get why you said you 'don't do sex, ever' if you meant no sex before marriage.

I'm in the same boat as you, no sex before marriage, and I made the mistake of making it clear at the beginning that sex wasn't an option. Some people may say it's only fair to put your cards on the table at the start - but in my case, it led to the guy in question using me for what he could get (making out etc - he knew what I felt comfortable with but pushed the boundaries and I was too inexperienced and felt too intimidated to do what I should have done and told him to stop) and then not being interested anymore. So in future, I'll let the guy know from the beginning what religion I am, so he's got a hint about my ideas about sex, but not properly discuss the no sex issue until we've made something of a commitment to each other. if you tell him right from the start, he'll probably not be interested. Whereas if you tell him when you've got to know and like each other a little more, he might think you're worth it regardless and want to stay with you. If he doesn't know you very well and isn't sure he really likes you, saying no sex will make him run for the hills and he won't bother sticking around to see whether you actually would make a good couple.

In that case, it makes more sense. I thought it was something to do with some kind of religious thing where you couldn't have sex at all

"The only problem is that i'm abstinent- i don't do sex, ever. I was just wondering what time would be appropriate to let him know. I know it might be a turn off but i don't want to get too deep into it before letting him know that there's no chance of us ever having sex. "

That to me, still means exactly what it says, unless you already don't think he's marriage material, in which case he will never have sex with you, ever.

I'm 17, soon to turn 18 but i just recently started dating this smooth-talking, hot 20 year old guy, he's my first date ever and he's really flirty and has already tried to make a move on me even though we've only been on 2 dates. The only problem is that i'm abstinent- i don't do sex, ever. I was just wondering what time would be appropriate to let him know. I know it might be a turn off but i don't want to get too deep into it before letting him know that there's no chance of us ever having sex.