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Wishful Thinking or Genuine Article?

I'm making this post anonymously because I keep thinking there's a chance that this individual is part of this forum and may just figure out I'm talking about her.

There's a girl I've been texting for a while and I did think that there was some form of connection. I'm not nervous talking to girls, I'd like to think I'm relatively good at reading the signs and relatively good at flirting. So we've flirted on and off for a couple of months now, through which time she got dumped by a boyfriend of two weeks - who I think was her first boyfriend that was anywhere near a "real" relationship. We sort of spoke about potentially getting together a bit after that but then by the end of the day she said she'd rather just stay friends - which I'd predicted she'd do and I was fine with.

Now! Here's where I'm a little confused. We're flirting consistently, and it's very nice, many sexual innuendos casually thrown about but she's recently told me she's crazy about someone who doesn't want her and she knows he doesn't want her. She's refused to tell me anything about who this is. Under normal circumstances, and looking at this from an outside perspective, I might say that this person could be me? But then she just wants to stay friends? Or could this person be the boyfriend of two weeks?

I like this girl, she's very nice and we have many similarities along with the handful of refreshing differences. But I find it strange that my judgement is clouded on this - anyone care to shine some light?

bump

It sounds like she's not sure what she wants. It's too early to tell how much she likes you - perhaps she doesn't even know herself. Have you been spending a lot of time together?

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

In person, not really. As much as we can do on college frees but we've both got a different circle of friends. We've texted pretty much constantly for the past few days, and have done that on and off for a few weeks. And talk on Facebook whenever we're both online. You're sounding about right, I think, though.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

Sorry to post again. Further developments and I know time is a factor in these things.

I've just found out that this guy she's talking about IS the guy that dumped her a few weeks ago and her friend has mentioned to me that she's recently slept with him whilst drunk - whether or not this is true I don't know because the timeline doesn't fit, but that's not important to me right now. Anyway!

Why, if she says she's 'madly in love' with this guy, is she flirting with me so much? Also, I've 'tested the waters' here and there by referencing how we should hook up and every time she's seemed oblivious or said nothing about it. Anyone got any ideas?

I think the stubborn, stupid or self-loathing side of me has subconsciously decided that, because she says she likes somebody else, I now like her more. So an insight into her mind would be good, if anyone can help.

bump

Likes the attention you give her that she doesn't get from the other guy?

Reply 7

Topcorn

I have the exact same experience from when I was at high school, a little word of advice get out of it while you can and find a girl who has the decency to flirt with you and actually give you a chance.

The way it ended for me was we eventually hooked up after flirting for nearly a year and her being with various boyfriends, we split up two weeks later and our friendship was over. She did not like me and I was infatuated with her, I enjoyed the attention I was getting and she enjoyed the attention she was receiving. I did want more and in the end it ruined our relationship and feels like a waste of my time.

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

I'm beginning to think you lot are right. We met up today and it was very, very good. She was happy to kiss me for a while in the back of costa and there was more flirting and sexual innuendos. But then afterwards she texted me asking for advice about this guy she 'loves'.

So yeah, very confused. Had a great time with her and would love to do it again, but feel a little bit like a distraction for her.

Reply 9

Topcorn

Original post by Anonymous

If you are happy to go ahead and be the guy who makes out with her and has some fun, which seems no future together then carry on.

But be true to yourself, do you want more? If you want more then stop it now as it will only hurt a hell of a lot more when she cuts you out once she gets with someone else.

Reply 10

Neomaster121

she isn't talk about you

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

Thanks for the advice guys. Anyway, spoken to her again and got it all sorted. Not going to let it keep happening until she's made her mind up about what she wants. Thanks again, guys.

Reply 12

implicity

Good man, basically, you give her the attention that she desperately wants from the 'other guy'. Also, don't give into her so easily if things don't work out too easily between those two and you happen to be the rebound. Glad you got things sorted though.