Am I allowed to move into halls without parents permission?

My whole life has been a lie The amount of times my mum said I wasnt allowed to be friends with a boy -_- I think its time for me to make a change in this family!

Thanks for enlightening me

And since your parents are using Islam as an excuse, just remind them you have the exact same rights as your brother
If they say otherwise, ask them for written proof - which they won't have - but you will, but men-women equality is mentioned over a billion times in quran.

Its okay! Its just how some of the people start thinking because of societies they live in.
My mums a doctor and she has a lot of male colleagues that she talks to and invites over for dinner - doesn't make her any less of a muslim.

Lol ok doke. I'll try this tomorrow. I may come back for your advice when they pull another line out

Yeah my mum is fine with going out. As long as its not past 9 -_- But I'll be at my aunts which is a whole another story. I wont be allowed out then

At least your parents are understanding. My mum thinks its wrong for men and women to talk to each other.

Which I dont agree with.

Hopefully, this isnt going to split me and my family apart. Cause I aint backing down.

You completely understand where I'm coming from. My aunts are going to be 10 times stricter then my mum and treat me like a baby.

I'm sick of having to listen to them all the time. I should have applied to the unis I wanted to. Not the ones here or where my aunts live

Its just the whole financial thing. I know I'm an adult. But is it possible for me to support myself?

Ok so basically, my parents are strict muslims and I made the stupid decision of actually listening to them when applying to unis

I've decided that enough is enough I'm old enough to make my own decisions.

So, instead of moving in with mu aunts I've decided that I'm going to move into the uni halls.

There's a chance my parents wont support me through it though. I don't know if its a stupid decision

Plus, I was thinking of working my butt off now. Then calling up unis on results day that have a better course.

I dunno. What do you guys think?

No offense guys but most of your 'Pakistani' parents moved to britain from villages decades ago. Pakistani parents back in Pakistan are VERY different now - my parents both lived in hostels when they were doing their universities - and no I don't belong to some high society family, I belong to an average family. While your parents seem to have shut down and regress back to stone age - I would really appreciate if you stop tagging all backward parents as Pakistani because to be honest after living in UK for over a decade, you are no longer a Pakistani anyway.
We have enough racists to deal with everyday who think our parents are some sort of terrorists when to be honest my parents are more excited than me regarding me moving into halls - same goes for all my friends. We don't need all of you struggling with your identities, to start tagging us as backwards.

Don't worry too much - 2 of my Christain-Indian friends (surprise, i know! but they are very religious) are having an extremely hard time trying to convince their parents to let them go to university halls - the parents were already mad at them for failing to get into the local university that needed like A*AA lol.

I don't know, but I'm willing to bet that Birmingham Uni's Islamic Soc will know

With regards to being / not being allowed out, I was referring to when you are at your aunts, where you said earlier in this thread that you won't be allowed out.

No problem haha! I had a friend who went through a similar thing last year.
Try to tell them you can't concentrate on studies at home while at hostel, you can study at all times without any disturbance - making it sound like its a prison! Put in stuff like university studies are VERY hard and if you fail, you won't be get enough funding or something like that. It'll be very tiring having a full day at university then travelling back home - add stuff like how you might have to stay till very late for some lessons or even attend late night revision sessions and it'll quickly get very unsafe to get back home late at night.
If she suggests her moving in with you - tell her about crimes and all that happen :P and that its way more safer in halls!

Best thing for you to do would be not go to any of these close universities instead pick the one thats at least 2 hours away!

yes! totally possible! you have your loan, right... can you apply for a grant too? even if that is not enough you can still try and get a job. trust me you can do it you just need self confidence and to belive in yourself. you better apply to halls quickly though!

OP I feel really sorry for you, your parents are so controlling from applying to uni to this... it doesn't seem they care about how this will impact you in the future socially, mentally etc. or they haven't considered/thought about it... it's obvious they love you but they need to know that they can't keep pushing you round like some kind of pawn!

do you even want to go to this uni? is it a good uni for your future or might it hinder you? they should want what's best for you and none of this is what's best for you... not worry about whether this is anti-islam... which it isn't.

do you have a kind imam? maybe you could try and ask him to speak to your parents. on the other hand he might just tell you to respect your parents. are there any other adults your parents respect that could help you talk to them? your brother prehaps?

i think you need to sit down and speak to them rationally, tell them you love them, respect them etc. and wouldn't ever do anything to dishonour yourself, them or your religion but you think moving in to halls would be best for your personal development, you need to learn how to live independantly without having anyone to fall back on etc.

it sounds hard but you should also tell them, but not in a too direct bossy way, but make sure it doesn't sound like you are asking either. i think you're going to need to be strong and risk them not talking to you for a while but i think they will come round.

Stop being a wimp and just tell your parents you want to live in halls and acuumulate a large amount of debt for the overrated student experience.

Yep, but they may cancel my student finance application. I'm entitled to the maximum grant and hopefully if I get the top grade then I'll be entitled to the education grant by the uni. I applied to the halls last week. Just waiting for them to get back to me.

The reason they dont want me to go is cause they love me and they want to protect me. Silly really, according to them I'm only allowed to move out once I'm married. So they won't be responsible..

The amount of times I've spoke to them. They just dont wna listen.. Whatever I say doesnt make a difference. But I need to be calm and mature. I'll just tell them my decision

It's aston uni, I really do like it. I think it wont hinder me(hopefully not). But I didnt have a choice, I couldnt put unis further away cause I wasnt allowed and the ones nearer home wanted A*'s for my course. I do regret listening to them. Since they have influenced my future.

I dont have a local imam that theyll listen too. Also, my brother might disagree. He might act like the over protective older brother and won't let me go.

Anyway, you don't think its stupid for me to move into uni halls when I can stay at my aunties house. Which will be closer and cheaper?

I still want to move into the halls, just sick of listening to them

Thanks for the help

Unfortunately, my mum thinks its against islam to move into halls. Caue i need someone to protect me or something

I dunno if this is true

Ok so basically, my parents are strict muslims and I made the stupid decision of actually listening to them when applying to unis

I've decided that enough is enough I'm old enough to make my own decisions.

So, instead of moving in with mu aunts I've decided that I'm going to move into the uni halls.

There's a chance my parents wont support me through it though. I don't know if its a stupid decision

Plus, I was thinking of working my butt off now. Then calling up unis on results day that have a better course.

I dunno. What do you guys think?

Just do it, its your life at the end of the day

yes that's something to consider, but i don't think they can cancel it once you've got the grant, as in it's been approved, can they? if you just don't tell them until you know you have to grant and loan. do you think they would try and cancel it?

no i definitely don't think you are stupid i think it's a really brave decision and definitely an important one to make, i think you need to make this decision. whether you move in with your aunties or you move into halls, it NEEDS to be your decision and no one elses.

do you think they will come round eventually? i hope they do, good luck

can you not get a 'community leader' type or your imam to point out that this is incorrect or are they just as backward ...

Here is what I would do. You really don't want to hack your parents off - they are your mum and dad at the end of the day and they want what is best for you.


Get your exams out of the way. Get your results and get to uni. Live with your aunts initially. When you are at uni see about accommodation - there will be people who leave so there will be availability. Then get in touch with the Muslim Soc there. One of the girls there will be very understanding and will come with you to see your parents/ aunts and explain about your safety. They will probably be a group house that you can move into along with others who share the same background as you.

Just don't irritate your folks - you will feel bad and this will affect you. But it will all be easier to arrange if you have support from inside the uni etc. Good luck.

Quite a different perspective compared to others. That does sound logically tbh. But I've had enough

I simply dont want to live with my aunts

Scenario 1 - you completely ignore your parents wishes - they go potty and start to keep you in the house and make life very difficult and prevent you from going to university - then they send you off for an arranged marriage.

Scenario 2 - an old expression - but softly softly catchee monkey. They are worried about you. You only have to stay with the aunts a few days. Why don't you contact the Muslim Soc now and get some contacts.


I don't know which country you are from - but I guess this is a big thing for their daughter ( I am guessing you are female!). I have spent time in the middle east where some girls are treated so badly. You are having to amalgamate two cultures. And quite frankly if more parents were like yours the world would be a better place.


But I am on your side - my daughter too is leaving home and I am worried for her safety too. But you don't want to piss your parents off!!! Go gently with them.