Clubbing Vs. Relationship

your gonna hate me even more when i tell you i crashed the next year and it only went up to 340

Wtf.... Why am I paying £1500? It's about time men and women had equal rights ffs!

Poor attempt at twisting my words for some rep, better luck next time hoe.

I personally hate it when my girlfriend goes clubbing with her girlfriends. I know most of you will be thinking that I don't trust her, but trust isn't really the problem here. I know that she would never cheat willingly, but every time she goes to a club there are always guys touching her, grabbing her and being very inappropriate. The last time she went clubbing a guy that her friends were talking to grabbed her and tried to kiss her!

What I don't understand is why she insists on going. She knows how I feel about it and she knows that when things like this happen it puts strain on us. And while I trust her, her friends are single and out on the pull so obviously if they are chatting to a group of guys then it puts my girlfriend in a situation where things like that will happen, so whats the point in her going out and putting herself in these situations? She sees it as going out for a dance with her girls but clubbing isn't just about having a dance, it's where drunk pervy guys go to pick up girls.

I have no objection to her going clubbing with me or her cousin (male) because as long as there is a guy with her then she is less likely to be approached/groped/sexually assaulted. But when she is out with her friends, that's when things start to happen and I don't know how many more times I can deal with it. When we first started going out she wasn't much of a clubber and I told her I was relieved as I don't go out with those types of girls, now I'm worried she is becoming one of them.

What does everyone else think about this issue? Should you go clubbing in a relationship and put yourself in a situation that is just waiting for something bad to happen? Have you had any issues like this with your s/o? All opinions welcome.

I would not go to a nightclub if forced, no way am i walking through a crowd of sweating people who engage in sexual behavior with anything moving.

If i did go, I'll sulk outside the club.

How can you possibly not think about it? Random guys are touching up your girlfriend and you're quite happy to sit there and do nothing? I wish I could do that but it just isn't right. Different if she was single, but the fact that you are her boyfriend means that only you have the right to touch her in those places, and she knows that by going to clubs, other guys are going to touch her there too. It's disrespectful to you and to your relationship. That's the way I see it.

No I don't mean that it's her fault she is being assaulted, but she knows that she will be sexually assaulted when she goes to a club and yet she still goes anyway! Like I've said there are plenty of other things to do with friends other than clubbing. I just don't agree that clubbing is something you should be doing while you have a bf or gf at home. I see it as something you should do when you're single. The fact she is in a relationship with me an is willingly going places where random guys can feel her up is ridiculous. I know that's not what she goes for, but that's sadly what happens in clubs. It's not possible to just go for a dance with her friends. There will always be something bad that happens, so why risk it? Why put yourself in that situation when there are plenty of other things she could do with her friends. That's more what I'm trying to say. Sorry if I sounded harsh before.

How can you possibly not think about it? Random guys are touching up your girlfriend and you're quite happy to sit there and do nothing? I wish I could do that but it just isn't right. Different if she was single, but the fact that you are her boyfriend means that only you have the right to touch her in those places, and she knows that by going to clubs, other guys are going to touch her there too. It's disrespectful to you and to your relationship. That's the way I see it.

Because I know she wouldn't do anything so it will be like two seconds before they get rejected. At the the end of the day they can try and touch her but will fail they might get two seconds but what can you do? Fair enough if you can't get over it but that's life it's going to happen but remember who's actually going out with her because you start trying to control her you're going to lose her then other people will be with her


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I understand a bit more now where you're coming from, but I still think your anger is misdirected. The point is that your girlfriend is the victim, not the perpretrator, in this situation. She is not disrespecting you or your relationship; she is the one who is being disrespected and worse, and I would argue that she deserves your sympathy and not your resentment. Now, you point out that there are other ways for her to hang out with her friends that don't involve clubbing. This is true, but you have to remember that when you're a woman there is no guarantee, wherever you go, that you will not be harassed or assaulted. Where I live, which isn't a rough area by any means, I frequently experience street harassment if I go out on my own or with my sister, even in broad daylight. So, leaving aside the fact that if she wants to hang out with these particular friends she's going to have to take into account what they want to do, your girlfriend, like most women, is simply choosing to do something she enjoys even if it increases the (already present) risk that she will be harassed and/or assaulted. It's a trade-off that we all have to make.

I see your point but I just can't get past the fact that these guys are feeling her up, and more to the point, she is going to clubs KNOWING it's going to happen! I know that she is the "victim" in this, but by simply not going to clubs, the problem will be sorted. It is sexual assault at the end of the day and I don't see how anyone can be calm about it.

Have you been in a similar situation then? What happened in your case? Tbh I'm not one for just "getting on with it" type of people. I'd rather find a solution or compromise, or just leave the situation all together.