Having a one night stand then find out they are transgender

For a start, you're confusing gender and sex. They're different.

Also, HIV can kill you. Having slept with a transgender person will not do you any harm.

Just a few points there.

I deliberately chose the word gender I am a medic so am aware of these pedantic differences which are pointless to discuss for most of us. Interesting debate we had whilst doing psychiatry, concerning transgender patients. The consultant himself said he is uneasy about their ability to change their gender officially. I completely agree.

Both are psychologically scarring.

A born female is not the same as a transgender female.

Both are psychologically scarring.

A born female is not the same as a transgender female.

In what way would u punish them? And you can change your gender. That's what hormones and ops are for.


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So many lamers on this thread. I would find it creepier to have sex with someone who had two silicone things surgically implanted in her chest. I think there is so much anxiety surrounding people's gender identity it's sad. Are you really that scared that it's easier than you thought, indeed possible at all, to switch genders to the point of actually "passing" to the point of having sex? Well, live with it. There is no untrespassable line between genders. Gender is a barrier between progress and pathetic behaviour such as this. People are not the idea of a gender, whatever that might be. They are bones and skin and hair. Made of the same things. Why are you so scared? People you know, everyone is a person. You wanted a ONS, you got a ONS. The whole point of appearance is to CHOOSE what it is. You like her big boobs, you would have hated small boobs for example. It doesn't matter because when you had sex the boobs were big. You wouldn't have ****ed anyone as a child. Imagine how ridiculous "I used to have no pubic hair. I used to have no boobs, do you regretting it now?". No of course not. There's this "sense" that boobs grown on a "man" are not "real". Well, they are. It's not a different DNA, it's not a different composition of proteins, etc. It's the exact same.

Sometimes people need to be reminded that we are the same species. You wouldn't have liked to **** a guy. Well, you didn't. You didn't **** a guy, you didn't **** a child, you didn't **** a zygote. Things evolve, things change, things develop. Their past doesn't prevent that.

Thank you very much.

Well that's subjective.

But for the sake of debate, HIV is both psychologically scarring AND a serious illness. A ONS with a trans person is only "psychologically scarring".

I have to ask - why do you feel so strongly about it? Especially in the circumstances of an ONS?

Your genotype is who you are. There is no escaping that. I am sure they have a neuropsychiatry abnormality but like most psych issues, no one can pin point it.

I am well aware of HIV having studied it and seen it. And no, it's not deadly. That was the 80's so a little out of date. With treatment, you live a relatively normal life in terms of quality.

There in lies the problem, "only" psychologically scarring you say. So is rape then too? Don't down play psychological damage if you don't know anything about trauma.

I don't necessarily feel strongly about it. I see it as a natural reaction any straight guy would have. Most my mates do to. ONS/dating would both be bad.

so you diliberatly chose the wrong word? (or atleast commonly used wrong word)

There are certianly devise opinions, but as someone who spends a fair bit of time with some of the top gender specialists in the NHS, as well as academics studying sex and gender... those opinions seem to be becoming a minority..

As for their ability to change their gender.. no transgender person ever wants to change their gender? - they simply want the gender they have always been, to be fully recegonised.. so..?

I like the fact you've tried to show your tolerance by making intolerant comments about people with fake breasts- many of them, of course, being trans women...

the issue people are taking with your post though, was the 'seeking revenge' style thing you were going for..

Which is deeply wrong.

Its ok to have a preferance, and to get upset/offended by transgender people.. - but that offence is your own, and not the fault of the trans person who (by any mondern understanding) cannot help what they are.

so for you to get offended, and then to seek action against the trans person.. is very much wrong.

Be upset and scared, but know that the scarring comes from your own prejudics/views, and is not the fault of the transgender individual..

(unless.. and this would be key.. they purpously decieved you, and told you they were not trans... - otherwise, any presumption has been made by yourself, as to their sex/gender)

Mental illness because you certainly are not what you think you are. The only reason specialists are changing their opinion "officially" is because we live in a society where anything goes. It doesn't change the fact that there is probably an abnormality like with other mental illnesses but we just don't know how it happens.

I deliberately chose the word gender I am a medic so am aware of these pedantic differences which are pointless to discuss for most of us. Interesting debate we had whilst doing psychiatry, concerning transgender patients. The consultant himself said he is uneasy about their ability to change their gender officially. I completely agree.

What a silly post! If a transgender person slept with me without telling me that, they have obviously deceived a straight normal male. Hmm I wonder why they wouldn't say they are a fake female? Maybe because most straight men have an issue against sleeping with someone who is actually male.

I repeat, it's the same as having an STD but without being able to cure it. So something like HIV. The onus is on the individual to inform me not for me to ask are you transgender, do you have HIV? That way there would be a never ending list of questions.

A respectable person would disclose it and I have no issues what they do with other people as long as they are honest.

What a silly post! If a transgender person slept with me without telling me that, they have obviously deceived a straight normal male. Hmm I wonder why they wouldn't say they are a fake female? Maybe because most straight men have an issue against sleeping with someone who is actually male.

I repeat, it's the same as having an STD but without being able to cure it. So something like HIV. The onus is on the individual to inform me not for me to ask are you transgender, do you have HIV? That way there would be a never ending list of questions.

A respectable person would disclose it and I have no issues what they do with other people as long as they are honest.