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Can you be asexual without experiencing sex?

I've never really been very confident so I never really spoke to girls that much (and normally when a girl spoke to me it was one of them really overconfident cocky ones to humiliate me).

I've never had sex (or a girlfriend), and I'm not like other teenagers who are constantly in relationships, having sex or spend most of the day fantasizing over attractive looking girls. But i've never had a girlfriend or anything, so i've never experienced it.

I don't often look at girls and think 'woah she is very attractive' but that's not saying I don't think anyone is attractive.

So my question- can you be asexual without experiencing sex?
Reply 1
Being asexual can lead to not experiencing sex, so the answer to your question is yes.
Of course you can, I knew I was hetrosexual before I had a sexual relationship. I think when you're young (and I dont mean to sound patronising) there is a very prominent status quo, and feeling different from that can be confusing and prone to making people feel different. The reality is that everyone goes through their own journey relationship and sexuality wise. Try not to label yourself and put yourself in a box, go out, form relationships, form friendships, have hobbies, work hard and it will all come naturally.
Reply 3
Of course. Does anything turn you on? Porn? Do you masturbate and do you fantasize about things?
Reply 4
Original post by Anonymous
I've never really been very confident so I never really spoke to girls that much (and normally when a girl spoke to me it was one of them really overconfident cocky ones to humiliate me).

I've never had sex (or a girlfriend), and I'm not like other teenagers who are constantly in relationships, having sex or spend most of the day fantasizing over attractive looking girls. But i've never had a girlfriend or anything, so i've never experienced it.

I don't often look at girls and think 'woah she is very attractive' but that's not saying I don't think anyone is attractive.

So my question- can you be asexual without experiencing sex?


Ofcourse.I've a friend who's exactly the same as you.
Reply 5
um yes.
Reply 6
Ohh I thought I'd love the idea to have sex... did it...
Thought it was meh... Haven't got an interest in it at all = Asexual :smile:
Reply 7
Original post by Michaelj
Of course. Does anything turn you on? Porn? Do you masturbate and do you fantasize about things?


I don't know. I get an erection when I watch soft porn but I don't really like hardcore stuff. I don't masturbate.
Reply 8
Original post by Anonymous
I don't know. I get an erection when I watch soft porn but I don't really like hardcore stuff. I don't masturbate.


You're not asexual, you're just as prominent as a lot of people your age. If you get aroused even by soft porn that is. Bit odd that you prefer soft porn over hardcore, but whatever floats your boat.
Reply 9
Original post by Michaelj
You're not asexual, you're just as prominent as a lot of people your age. If you get aroused even by soft porn that is. Bit odd that you prefer soft porn over hardcore, but whatever floats your boat.


So if you're asexual do you not even get erections?
Reply 10
Original post by Anonymous
So if you're asexual do you not even get erections?


Not sure but you definitely don't get turned on by soft porn.
Original post by Michaelj
Not sure but you definitely don't get turned on by soft porn.


Actually this is abit of a mis-representation of what asexuality constitutes, it's about not experiencing sexual attraction to another person rather than never getting horny.

It does sound initially abit counter-intuitive but a large proportion of asexuals regualrly/occasionally masturbate, whilst others don't feel the urge, it's all about whether you want to share that "horniness" with another person which generally defines whether you are asexual or not.

Hence you could get turned on by soft porn but it doesn't necessarily mean that you would ever want to partake in it (btw I'm by no means attacking Michaelj, as asexuality is definitely not widely understood by any means).

Hopefully this is helpful anonymous poster? Echoing what others have said here you definitely can consider yourself asexual without having sex, much in the same way many straight people won't have had sex with someone of their own gender! :smile:

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