Mum&#x27;s found out I don&#x27;t wear the headscarf.

Original post by HelpTheInnocent

You won't understand.

Posted from TSR Mobile

So explain.

Reply 82

Original post by joker12345

If she wears a headscarf for her mother, but otherwise disbelieved in Islam won't she be punished anyway?

That's why I said in one of my earlier posts, she should wear it because of Islam, and this will also make her mother happy!

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Reply 83

Original post by StalkeR47

I know. I agree with you there however, Looking at the situation, OP should clearly decide to wear the headscarf just for the happiness of her mother. Looking at OP's mother, She is extra strict and would never listen to her daughter. In this case, at least OP can wear the scarf and finish the situation? Isn't it better than disobeying a mother and planning to run away from her home just like other people in this thread are saying? :confused:

Islam really, but it will also please her mother

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Reply 84

Original post by StalkeR47

I know. I agree with you there however, Looking at the situation, OP should clearly decide to wear the headscarf just for the happiness of her mother. Looking at OP's mother, She is extra strict and would never listen to her daughter. In this case, at least OP can wear the scarf and finish the situation? Isn't it better than disobeying a mother and planning to run away from her home just like other people in this thread are saying? :confused:

While I understand what you are saying, you can't spend your entire life trying to appease your parents, especially if its at the expense of your own happiness. Add that to the fact that threats of throwing her out don't make her seem like a loving and caring mother, do why should OP sacrifice her own desires for that?

Reply 85

DarkParadise

OP

6

Original post by StalkeR47

I know. I agree with you there however, Looking at the situation, OP should clearly decide to wear the headscarf just for the happiness of her mother. Looking at OP's mother, She is extra strict and would never listen to her daughter. In this case, at least OP can wear the scarf and finish the situation? Isn't it better than disobeying a mother and planning to run away from her home just like other people in this thread are saying? :confused:

But then I won't be happy.
I know where you're coming from - respecting my mother is important, as she is, after all, my mother.
however I have to live for myself. Living for others won't bring me any happiness, and if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that I want to live a happy life.

Reply 86

Original post by HelpTheInnocent

That's why I said in one of my earlier posts, she should wear it because of Islam, and this will also make her mother happy!

Posted from TSR Mobile

She can't wear it for Islam if she doesn't believe.

Reply 87

OP Would you call yourself a Muslim?

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Reply 88

Original post by StalkeR47

TSR have a report built for religious offence and others. So people are not free to call it bullcrap.

That is more for personal insults (e.g. attacking a Muslim with no basis) rather than general conversation that they think Islam is bullcrap. It would be ridiculous to persecute people for expressing their disbelief.

Reply 89

username1022388

your mum has no right to treat you like that just because you don't wear the headscarf. It's your choice whether you wanna wear it or not, and noone can force it on you. Part of being religious is to do it out of your own will, and because you feel it's right.
In my opinion you should try and find your own place and move out. it is gonna be hard but i think it would be the best option. Maybe your mum will grow to understanding your own choices soon.

Reply 90

455409

17

Original post by HelpTheInnocent

For Modesty, and parents care about her and know what's best for her. A few months later OP will have a new thread "Just got pregnant, shall I get abortion or tell Muslim parents" :roll:

Posted from TSR Mobile

The fertility rate in muslim countries is far higher than countries that don't adopt headscarfs.

I thought this was a sensible intelligent debate but i guess not. Bye.

Reply 91

AbathaZoe

7

Original post by DarkParadise

But then I won't be happy.
I know where you're coming from - respecting my mother is important, as she is, after all, my mother.
however I have to live for myself. Living for others won't bring me any happiness, and if there's one thing I'm sure of, it's that I want to live a happy life.

All these people saying that you should sacrifice your own happiness for a woman who abuses you don't have a clue what they're talking about. Personally, I don't think she deserves your respect - no one who treats their child that way deserves to be called a mother.

Anyway, you sound like a strong person who can think for themselves, which is always great. I just hope that you can find a way out of this because it sounds like an awful situation to be in. I can't really give you any advice, but good luck with whatever you decide to do, and just remember that this is your life, and your own happiness should be your main focus above all else.

Reply 92

DarkParadise

OP

6

Original post by HelpTheInnocent

For Modesty, and parents care about her and know what's best for her. A few months later OP will have a new thread "Just got pregnant, shall I get abortion or tell Muslim parents" :roll:

Posted from TSR Mobile

You don't know me. If insulting me and making rash assumptions about my personal life just because I think for myself is your way of helping me, then I no longer want you in my thread. I really need help see, because I'm scared. So I don't need comments like yours.

Reply 93

minthumbugs

12

I'm sorry you're in this situation, maybe watch some of Amenakin's videos? She's really nice and explains why she wears the hijab which she didn't do until 1 year into her marriage. Maybe just wear it until you've moved out (I understand that will probably only happen when you're married..) and then you can make a decision? It's horrible that you lose the support of the whole community because of a personal decision. I have a cousin who's mum is pretty religious but she wasn't forced to wear a headscarf. I think she wanted to move in with a boyfriend and her parents didn't agree so they're estranged which is pretty sad. Your mum still loves you and although she might be yelling at you (which is unacceptable) she only wants the best for you. Like Amena said, shaming people into doing something will never work. They have to do it because they want to. I hope your mum will eventually realise this. Isn't it better to decide to wear it because you want to, not because you'll shame your family if you don't?

Reply 94

HenryKissinger

Try and get as far away from this disgusting culture as possible. I know you love your family but if they're calling you a slut and blackmailing you simply for not wearing a piece of fabric on your head, you know that their religion has warped their minds, like it has warped the minds of millions around the world. Leave and enjoy life as a secular woman - you'll be glad you did in the end. :smile:

Reply 95

Original post by StalkeR47

Ok. After what you have just said, I would say live your life at your will after when you are married.

Why when she's married? Who says she even wants to get married?

Reply 96

Original post by StalkeR47

Well, someone called bullcrap to a Quote from the Quran. I take it as a serious offence. And many others also do.

Why? You think the Quran is factual, I think it's fictional. We're both free to hold and express our opinions.

Reply 97

Niassuh

10

Sis, please know that you are not alone. You are completely justified in your choice not to wear a dupatta/khimar/shayla/hijab and you must not wear it unless it's on your own terms. I don't wear any physical manifestation of hijab, but my friend was in your exact situation a few years back. Now, I don't know how much family or how many contatcs you have that might take you in if your mum kicks you out, but my friend had no extended family here and just our family as friends. She wasn't the type to be able to survive without her family, even though we were willing to take her in. So in the end she just wore it.

One of my cousins just stopped wearing it. Her mom insulted her for a while, then gave up, although she had initially threatened to kick her out. So it might be empty threats.

Now I know it might make you hate your family/islam/muslims in general but if your family was anything like my friend's, you might find it easiest to just wear it. Also, don't be letting anyone pressure you using Qu'ran and Hadith. It's not as if people posting on TSR have graduated in Qur'anic exegesis from Al-Azhar.

Reply 98