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ONS - Lost my virginity in freshers week :/

I knew I wanted to go out and have a good time during my freshers week, but I never expected to do something like this because it isn't like me at all...
The other night I met a 3rd year who is a friend of a friend and he came along with us to a bar crawl. We were chatting all night and got drunker and drunker and eventually ended up kissing....he then asked me if he could go back to mine (he said we could just kiss) and I was so drunk and he was so attractive so I agreed. Once we were back at my place, one thing led to another and even though he didn't pressure me, we ended up having sex. Looking back, it wasn't very romantic (I mean I know it was a one night stand and they usually aren't) but now I feel so embarrassed - I know I'm going to see him again tonight and I don't know how to react. I do feel a little dirty plus he was incredibly attracted and i am really just average - I don't have a very nice body and I hadn't even shaved my legs for gods sake! So how do I react around him ?

Another reason I am so embarrassed is I'm pretty sure my flat mates walked in after we had finished, and one of them might have even taken a picture :s-smilie:

...like I said , I'm really embarrassed by my body so this would just kill me if it were true. None of my flat mates have spoken about this since it happened though, so should i just ignore it or confront them later on?

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

Anybody got any advice??

Reply 2

Zarek

To be honest, it doesn't seem like the end of the world. You got off with someone you found very attractive and had some fun. It is quite common behaviour, at uni and elsewhere, and if it wasn't for your virginity and the unplanned nature of it you wouldn't be blinking an eyelid. Hold your head up high with him and your mates. I would take this as a confidence boost and learning experience. Don't fret about the unshaven legs either!

Reply 3

Jackso

I wouldn't mention it, dude. It's really not that big of a deal. It's not like you were cheating on anyone or doing anything else wrong, it was just consensual sex between two adults.

Reply 4

squealia

Whats done is done, he was hot, it could have been worse :P I agree with the guy above hold your head up high and don't be ashamed about it! If you do that then no one can poke fun about it! Play it cool when you see this guy and just see how he acts :smile:

The main thing is that you dont sound traumatized by this experience. Just live and learn :smile:

Reply 5

Helenia

Did you use a condom? If not then you need to think about MAP (if there's still time) and STI testing. If you did, then don't worry about it! You had fun, it might not be usually what you'd do but it's done now. You don't have to do it again if you don't want to.

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Reply 6

Jammie_x

You can't help what's done is done. I had a similar experience of loosing my v through a one night stand (bit more complicated then yours though haha) and then a friend walked in thinking their wardrobe was the toilet. It's a horribl thing to think you lost it at first to a ons - mainly cause most girls plan to loose it to someone special. Don't feel awkward - this stuff happens :/ just make sure you don't get attached to this guy if he doesn't have any romantic feelings for you back because you will, cause he's your first and all x

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Reply 7

mosmof

Original post by Anonymous

he then asked me if he could go back to mine (he said we could just kiss)

lol wtf were you born yesterday

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Original post by Jammie_x

I know, and I hate that I do form attachments to guys like that...i saw him in the club the next night and sort of ignored him, when i wish i had just talked to him tbh just to get some closure...even though I'm not interested in a relationship with him, it was like a punch in the stomach when I saw him kissing another, more attractive girl that night and a flat mate took me home in tears. If only I could just switch my feelings off!

Reply 9

Lotus_Eater

Original post by Anonymous

Anybody got any advice??

Yes! Give yourself a free pass on this one - in the event a lot of us lost our virginities in circumstances less than romantic. We can end up fetishising 'first times' and weighing them down with so much expectation that we forget a reality which becomes all too apparent in the event: it's often awkward first time around.

Whatever you do, don't worry about your legs or your flatmates or anything. People have sex at Uni and most people are usually quite mature about it. Play it cool and if you don't make a big deal about it, probably others won't too.

As you can't have helped but noticed, TSR is full of people desperate to have sex so you're probably counted as one of the lucky ones.

My only word on the religious debate that's entered this thread is that life seems to be a lot more fun when you base your values on what seems sensible in the modern world, rather than a set of prescriptions cooked up in the desert thousands of years ago.

Reply 10

User990473

Original post by Lotus_Eater

Yes! Give yourself a free pass on this one

I'm sure he said something similar to himself.

Reply 11

username47781

Please post sensible advice only, any comments that are horrible or bullying will get removed and warned.

Reply 12

JHart1865

Sex is best when unplanned and driven by lust. As long as you took precautions I think it's perfectly fine.

In a weird way it's probably best to lose your virginity this way, rather than an awkward five minute uncomfortable effort that you've planned for ages with zero percent chance of it ever actually going to plan.

And secondly, don't ever be ashamed of your body or think you're in some way inferior to the guy, go by his reaction and if he's interested then fine, if not, that's fine too.
You're hardly going to hell for it, as some seem to think!

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