Waiting for tutor to do reference. She's ignoring my texts and emails :(

OP

Nobody is telling you to let it go. Merely to leave it till she's back at work on Monday.

I know that. I said I will leave it until Monday and call her then if she hasn't contacted me, but I'm still angry that she hasn't done anything she said she would have and hasn't explained to me why when the deadline is getting closer and closer.

Reply 21

returnmigrant

21

Original post by Charybde

the fact is that she said she would get it done before Christmas. She hasn't, and now she's not replying to my messages.

If you stop thinking about this as as a petulant teen and look at it from a more adult point of view (useful since you planning on going to Uni) you will realise that ADULTS have other things to do with their lives over Christmas/NY than responding to texts from one ex-pupil.

I suggest you stop making your immaturity obvious here and follow the advice you've been given. Wait until the schools are back and then go and see her. And fgs, act your age and don't just rant at her about texts/emails. She doesnt actually 'owe' you anything - this is a favour she's doing you. Grow up.

Reply 22

Alpha brah

In the worst case scenario is there anyone else you can go to as a backup?

Reply 23

alexs2602

22

Original post by Crumpet1

For goodness sake, let your teacher enjoy the last days of her holiday. There will still be over a week to go before the deadline even if you wait until Monday, and you'll have the added benefit of not hacking both her and her family off.

Still have a week? I'm not sure you realise how short a time that is especially when you consider that she hasn't responded in 2 weeks already either. It's not a long time, it can go very quickly.

Reply 24

alexs2602

22

Original post by returnmigrant

If you stop thinking about this as as a petulant teen and look at it from a more adult point of view (useful since you planning on going to Uni) you will realise that ADULTS have other things to do with their lives over Christmas/NY than responding to texts from one ex-pupil.

I suggest you stop making your immaturity obvious here and follow the advice you've been given. Wait until the schools are back and then go and see her. And fgs, act your age and don't just rant at her about texts/emails. She doesnt actually 'owe' you anything - this is a favour she's doing you. Grow up.

You want an adult view? Here's an adult view from the perspective of what a tutor should be thinking.

"I said I'd help my student with their reference before Christmas and since this is vital to get their university application sent off and that leaving it until the very last minute can be very stressful for the applicant I should stick to my promise or at the very least keep my student updated on what's happening to prevent them from becoming too anxious." That is what a responsible adult would think. OP is relying on their tutor and their tutor should recognise this and act accordingly. Not to mention that there can be technical issues too so it's best to not leave it until the last couple of days.

And by the sounds of it OP is a current student of the tutor and the tutor is PAID for their time. Any decent human being would recognise that they should keep a promise like this.

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 25

Purplezz

I had a similar problem with the tutor I chose for my reference; she took over a month to finish the reference though I couldn't be too pestering as she was doing me favour because she wasn't really the person that was supposed to do it for me.

It's okay to be stressed out, but just remember that she doesn't have to do this; teachers do a helluva lot more work than students realise (my dad's a teacher) and really need their time off.

After two weeks, a few days till monday is not going to kill you; after then, you have free rein to be pissed as hell if she hasn't contacted you.

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Reply 26

Charybde

OP

Original post by alexs2602

You want an adult view? Here's an adult view from the perspective of what a tutor should be thinking.

"I said I'd help my student with their reference before Christmas and since this is vital to get their university application sent off and that leaving it until the very last minute can be very stressful for the applicant I should stick to my promise or at the very least keep my student updated on what's happening to prevent them from becoming too anxious." That is what a responsible adult would think. OP is relying on their tutor and their tutor should recognise this and act accordingly. Not to mention that there can be technical issues too so it's best to not leave it until the last couple of days.

And by the sounds of it OP is a current student of the tutor and the tutor is PAID for their time. Any decent human being would recognise that they should keep a promise like this.

This is exactly my point. Thanks for this. It doesn't matter that she's on her holidays, she should keep to her promise that she made to one of her students as it's pretty vital that this gets sorted before the deadline.

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Reply 27

b0x3s

9

I can't believe idiots are defending the teacher, if she said she would do the reference before Christmas then she should have done it. I'm pretty sure teachers have to work in holidays and summers so if she didn't want to work these times then maybe she should aim for another career.

Reply 28

SlowlorisIncognito

16

As she's a private tutor, she may not have that much experience of doing UCAS references and she may have underestimated the time it would take her to finish one. Alternatively, if she hasn't been responding to contact at all, maybe something has happened to her. Do you have a back up plan in place? For example could you ask a teacher from your old school? It is very short notice, but maybe they would be able to help you out.

I would ring her on Monday, but if she doesn't answer, I think it would be best to try and find another option (although this may not be easy at short notice). This is one of the reasons relying on a private tutor for a reference is less than ideal. There is no back up if something genuinely has happened to her. If you had contacted your old school, even if one teacher became ill, there would be other options. Now it may be too short notice for them.

Ultimately, you can't force her to write you a reference especially if she is ill/had a family emergancy/done a runner, so it would have been a good idea to come up with a back plan when you first asked her to write you one.