Asking out a quiet Chinese girl for a white male?
I know this thread may sound very stereotypical, but I promise you it is not, I am just saying what I have noticed between the Chinese people at my school. When I started at my school, a few international students started with me and they were all from China. I am friends with nearly all of them, and we get on really well together. When they arrived I noticed a Chinese girl, that I just really liked. She was one of the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I had to sit by her in a lesson once, and we got on really well. We made each other smile a lot and we were making each other laugh. We now get on very well, and talk most days. She smiles a lot at me and her smile is one of the highlights of the day (sounds incredibly cheesy, I know.) I told her, that I started learning mandarin, and she seemed delighted at it, for some reason. I just now have a few questions about asking her out.
Do Chinese women/girls, get taught on how to talk to men? Etiquette etc if so what are they taught.
What do most Chinese women, look for in a person?
How would I go about talking to her more, and how to get about asking her out?
Do you think I should ask her out now or a bit later? (just general advice here.)
Do you think I have any chance with her?
I'm very sorry if this sounds very stereotypical and if I have offended anyone, I just heard a few things online on how different some Chinese people. Thanks!
Do Chinese women/girls, get taught on how to talk to men? Etiquette etc if so what are they taught.
What do most Chinese women, look for in a person?
How would I go about talking to her more, and how to get about asking her out?
Do you think I should ask her out now or a bit later? (just general advice here.)
Do you think I have any chance with her?
I'm very sorry if this sounds very stereotypical and if I have offended anyone, I just heard a few things online on how different some Chinese people. Thanks!
LOL! tbh, (though this may very likely offend most westernized, non-country bumpkin chinese), there's still a case of widespread 'white-superiority' complex in east asian countries. it is especially so in china. i've heard so many cases of gorgeous and successful chinese girls dating ugly, penniless white guys just because they are white. it's sad, but i'd guess it's about wanting one of those adorable eurasian babies, and wanting to try something out of the norm.
异国恋情 (loosely translates to "foreign love" or rather "finding love abroad") is what it's called in the context of the girl being physically in a foreign land.
To answer your questions, in the chinese culture, the girls are taught to wait for the guy to make the first move. So you either ask her out, or watch some other guy get to her first. She ain't gon do nothin' even if the world were to end tomorrow. It's a sign of lack of self-respect. secondly, physical intimacy is a huge issue. even hand holding is a major, major relationship milestone. '男女授受不亲' (google translate it yo'self) Don't you even dare try touch the poor girl unless you're keen on a serious relationship. Lastly, there's no time bar as to when to ask her out, but the first date should preferably be a traditional to semi-traditional one, going to the movies and what not, to show immense respect and sincerity.
Everything else is pretty much the same. But with the rapid expansion of china's economy, globalisation and all that jazz these days, there aren't many chinese girls who stick to such a traditional mindset anymore.
white, brown, black, yellow, we're all pretty human.
you're probably over-analysing the race factor.
Look past it and get to know her as a Woman, a Unique Individual; not a Chinese (with the capital C) girl.
异国恋情 (loosely translates to "foreign love" or rather "finding love abroad") is what it's called in the context of the girl being physically in a foreign land.
To answer your questions, in the chinese culture, the girls are taught to wait for the guy to make the first move. So you either ask her out, or watch some other guy get to her first. She ain't gon do nothin' even if the world were to end tomorrow. It's a sign of lack of self-respect. secondly, physical intimacy is a huge issue. even hand holding is a major, major relationship milestone. '男女授受不亲' (google translate it yo'self) Don't you even dare try touch the poor girl unless you're keen on a serious relationship. Lastly, there's no time bar as to when to ask her out, but the first date should preferably be a traditional to semi-traditional one, going to the movies and what not, to show immense respect and sincerity.
Everything else is pretty much the same. But with the rapid expansion of china's economy, globalisation and all that jazz these days, there aren't many chinese girls who stick to such a traditional mindset anymore.
white, brown, black, yellow, we're all pretty human.
you're probably over-analysing the race factor.
Look past it and get to know her as a Woman, a Unique Individual; not a Chinese (with the capital C) girl.
Original post by Darthmaul41
What do most Chinese women, look for in a person?
What do most Chinese women, look for in a person?
They look for someone who can cook a delicious dog meal.
Spoiler
Take her out to Wagamama.
Um it depends - is she coming from an international school in China or is she a local Chinese student (meaning Chinese is her 1st language)? Because two types behave differently, I assure you. (I'm the former)
If she's from an international school background, chances are she already knows how to talk to foreigners (you) and she'll be okay with you asking her out.
If she's from a local school, it might have been an all-girls or co-ed school, so you'll just have to talk to her more to find out. All-girls might mean she's a little unsure about how to deal with boys, but based on what you wrote she doesn't have that problem. But even so there's nothing hugely taboo about asking her out either.
Yeah, so the main point is: go ask her out. If anything, she might be more polite than you expect but otherwise there's nothing to worry about. Best of luck!
If she's from an international school background, chances are she already knows how to talk to foreigners (you) and she'll be okay with you asking her out.
If she's from a local school, it might have been an all-girls or co-ed school, so you'll just have to talk to her more to find out. All-girls might mean she's a little unsure about how to deal with boys, but based on what you wrote she doesn't have that problem. But even so there's nothing hugely taboo about asking her out either.
Yeah, so the main point is: go ask her out. If anything, she might be more polite than you expect but otherwise there's nothing to worry about. Best of luck!
It depends heavily on her own background, and you really cannot generalise.
Just ask her out.
Just ask her out.
Speaking from my on experience with family, most rich Chinese girls only go out with rich men who can buy them Burberry. If they are international students their parents must be loaded. For example my sister would not date any poor white guy.
Original post by Darthmaul41
I know this thread may sound very stereotypical, but I promise you it is not, I am just saying what I have noticed between the Chinese people at my school. When I started at my school, a few international students started with me and they were all from China. I am friends with nearly all of them, and we get on really well together. When they arrived I noticed a Chinese girl, that I just really liked. She was one of the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. I had to sit by her in a lesson once, and we got on really well. We made each other smile a lot and we were making each other laugh. We now get on very well, and talk most days. She smiles a lot at me and her smile is one of the highlights of the day (sounds incredibly cheesy, I know.) I told her, that I started learning mandarin, and she seemed delighted at it, for some reason. I just now have a few questions about asking her out.
Do Chinese women/girls, get taught on how to talk to men? Etiquette etc if so what are they taught.
What do most Chinese women, look for in a person?
How would I go about talking to her more, and how to get about asking her out?
Do you think I should ask her out now or a bit later? (just general advice here.)
Do you think I have any chance with her?
I'm very sorry if this sounds very stereotypical and if I have offended anyone, I just heard a few things online on how different some Chinese people. Thanks!
Do Chinese women/girls, get taught on how to talk to men? Etiquette etc if so what are they taught.
What do most Chinese women, look for in a person?
How would I go about talking to her more, and how to get about asking her out?
Do you think I should ask her out now or a bit later? (just general advice here.)
Do you think I have any chance with her?
I'm very sorry if this sounds very stereotypical and if I have offended anyone, I just heard a few things online on how different some Chinese people. Thanks!
Most of the time Chinese girls have parents who say no dating until after graduating or you get a stable job since boys are a distraction and obviously this may cause her to fail because she may be too focused on dating.
Every Chinese woman is different just like every other woman.
You could always try bring up common interests. Me and this guy I know, we always talk about things we may like and have in common such as anime, manga/manhwa and food etc. and other topics like food. Food is everything haha and you could always just directly ask her out on a date. Some girls love it when boys a direct rather than beat around the bush but some girls like to take it slow.
I think that you should do whatever you think is right and also, why don’t you have a chance with her? There are many biracial couples now a days. Unless she has traditional views ingrained in her by her parents who want her to date a Chinese guy then you should be good to go. The worst that could happen is you getting rejected and idk what else is worse.
Original post by Anonymous
Speaking from my on experience with family, most rich Chinese girls only go out with rich men who can buy them Burberry. If they are international students their parents must be loaded. For example my sister would not date any poor white guy.
That’s not entirely true, my cousins can be considered rich and they like white people who are probably not rich idk lol however obviously their parents are very traditional Chinese so I don’t know how it would work out
Original post by Anonymous
LOL! tbh, (though this may very likely offend most westernized, non-country bumpkin chinese), there's still a case of widespread 'white-superiority' complex in east asian countries. it is especially so in china. i've heard so many cases of gorgeous and successful chinese girls dating ugly, penniless white guys just because they are white. it's sad, but i'd guess it's about wanting one of those adorable eurasian babies, and wanting to try something out of the norm.
异国恋情 (loosely translates to "foreign love" or rather "finding love abroad"
is what it's called in the context of the girl being physically in a foreign land.
To answer your questions, in the chinese culture, the girls are taught to wait for the guy to make the first move. So you either ask her out, or watch some other guy get to her first. She ain't gon do nothin' even if the world were to end tomorrow. It's a sign of lack of self-respect. secondly, physical intimacy is a huge issue. even hand holding is a major, major relationship milestone. '男女授受不亲' (google translate it yo'self) Don't you even dare try touch the poor girl unless you're keen on a serious relationship. Lastly, there's no time bar as to when to ask her out, but the first date should preferably be a traditional to semi-traditional one, going to the movies and what not, to show immense respect and sincerity.
Everything else is pretty much the same. But with the rapid expansion of china's economy, globalisation and all that jazz these days, there aren't many chinese girls who stick to such a traditional mindset anymore.
white, brown, black, yellow, we're all pretty human.
you're probably over-analysing the race factor.
Look past it and get to know her as a Woman, a Unique Individual; not a Chinese (with the capital C) girl.
异国恋情 (loosely translates to "foreign love" or rather "finding love abroad"
is what it's called in the context of the girl being physically in a foreign land.To answer your questions, in the chinese culture, the girls are taught to wait for the guy to make the first move. So you either ask her out, or watch some other guy get to her first. She ain't gon do nothin' even if the world were to end tomorrow. It's a sign of lack of self-respect. secondly, physical intimacy is a huge issue. even hand holding is a major, major relationship milestone. '男女授受不亲' (google translate it yo'self) Don't you even dare try touch the poor girl unless you're keen on a serious relationship. Lastly, there's no time bar as to when to ask her out, but the first date should preferably be a traditional to semi-traditional one, going to the movies and what not, to show immense respect and sincerity.
Everything else is pretty much the same. But with the rapid expansion of china's economy, globalisation and all that jazz these days, there aren't many chinese girls who stick to such a traditional mindset anymore.
white, brown, black, yellow, we're all pretty human.
you're probably over-analysing the race factor.
Look past it and get to know her as a Woman, a Unique Individual; not a Chinese (with the capital C) girl.
Preach it
I thought I would be disappointed by this thread - but the posters above have hit the nail on the head OP.
No one can give you an answer without knowing more about her/her background, and it will vary hugely depending on how international/westernised her upbringing is, VS. how traditionally/chinese/rural chinese/local her background is.
For reference I am white-british, and I live in rural china. with my chinese wife who I met in the UK when she was an international student.
I got it completely wrong with my wife at first. She comes from a very rural/traditional background, and her entire family had pooled together to save up enough for her to spend a year abroad. For me though, I knew nothing about Chinese culture or Chinese people. All the girls I had dated previously where white/western, and the only Asian person at my school was British-Asian who was very western in their attitudes having grown up here.
She was just another girl who was quite nice/pretty and moved into the dorm room next to mine at uni. I approached it in the exact same way I had done before, and it failed spectacularly, and she completely refused and shot me down in every way.
I now know that she actually thought I was quite good looking and was quite interested in me.. but she was just so unhappy and repulsed by the way I approached her that she did not think there was any way that anything could happen.
Slowly though we became friends over a few months, and through a much slower approach that fitted her far better, we became a couple.. then married, etc.
In this part of China, where she grew up the students around your age have a very conservative view of dating (they must, there is no choice in that from either their family or their schools). If you put a western boy inside the highschool that I work with occasionally, the girls here would be scared to death of him at first, especially if he was a bit cheeky/flirty/confident with girls. My wife and her highschool friends still tell me about how they can remember the day that they sat next to a boy who they liked, and their hands just brushed past each other on their desks, and it was the biggest most life shattering thing in their week... But this is just one small part of a giant country, and everywhere is different.
there are plenty of things to consider with dating someone from China, whose family is still in China:
No one can give you an answer without knowing more about her/her background, and it will vary hugely depending on how international/westernised her upbringing is, VS. how traditionally/chinese/rural chinese/local her background is.
For reference I am white-british, and I live in rural china. with my chinese wife who I met in the UK when she was an international student.
I got it completely wrong with my wife at first. She comes from a very rural/traditional background, and her entire family had pooled together to save up enough for her to spend a year abroad. For me though, I knew nothing about Chinese culture or Chinese people. All the girls I had dated previously where white/western, and the only Asian person at my school was British-Asian who was very western in their attitudes having grown up here.
She was just another girl who was quite nice/pretty and moved into the dorm room next to mine at uni. I approached it in the exact same way I had done before, and it failed spectacularly, and she completely refused and shot me down in every way.
I now know that she actually thought I was quite good looking and was quite interested in me.. but she was just so unhappy and repulsed by the way I approached her that she did not think there was any way that anything could happen.
Slowly though we became friends over a few months, and through a much slower approach that fitted her far better, we became a couple.. then married, etc.
In this part of China, where she grew up the students around your age have a very conservative view of dating (they must, there is no choice in that from either their family or their schools). If you put a western boy inside the highschool that I work with occasionally, the girls here would be scared to death of him at first, especially if he was a bit cheeky/flirty/confident with girls. My wife and her highschool friends still tell me about how they can remember the day that they sat next to a boy who they liked, and their hands just brushed past each other on their desks, and it was the biggest most life shattering thing in their week... But this is just one small part of a giant country, and everywhere is different.
there are plenty of things to consider with dating someone from China, whose family is still in China:
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