Always me planning dates with the guy ?

Why does this guy converse with me all time, says he wants to meet up all the time, yet we only ever go out if i initiate and plan it?

It's getting tiring.

We have a good time when we are out, but I'd like to actually feel that he wants to come out with me. I'd love for him to say, hey what are you doing on such a day, lets go somewhere. Instead its me making all the plans. Isn't it supposed to be the other way round? I know he initiates the contact but I don't really know how to feel about this.

Reply 1

Chocolatesoup

13

Original post by Jaeger12

Why does this guy converse with me all time, says he wants to meet up all the time, yet we only ever go out if i initiate and plan it?

It's getting tiring.

We have a good time when we are out, but I'd like to actually feel that he wants to come out with me. I'd love for him to say, hey what are you doing on such a day, lets go somewhere. Instead its me making all the plans. Isn't it supposed to be the other way round? I know he initiates the contact but I don't really know how to feel about this.

I've experienced this before, it can be frustrating taking the lead all the time and gets boring, too. I think it just depends on the guy, some won't even realise it's always you asking, they'll probably be more over the moon a female is actually giving them attention and wanting to spend time with them to think "maybe I should actually ask her for a change". So don't take it personally, I know it can come across as not making the effort or not wanting to spend time with you, but usually they're oblivious to it tbh.

I had an ex who I always had to start online convos with and invite to hang. So what I did after this went on for like a year and was driving me mad, was I stopped starting convos and wanna know what happened? We didn't speak or see each other for 2 weeks. Not once did he pop up to say hey, wanna hang? Or anything like that. But that's just who he was, he wasn't an initiator and he did the same towards his friends.

So you can try to back off from taking the lead and let the guy do it himself and see if he does, or realise that this is the power imbalance in your situation, you're the dominant one and he's happy for you to decide everything. Or if it really is a deal breaker for you, then maybe you're best leaving it. The way I see it, it's not hard at all to ask someone to hang and by this point they don't have an excuse like fear of rejection. But some guys are just god damn lazy.

Reply 2

slade p

4

Original post by Jaeger12

Why does this guy converse with me all time, says he wants to meet up all the time, yet we only ever go out if i initiate and plan it?

It's getting tiring.

We have a good time when we are out, but I'd like to actually feel that he wants to come out with me. I'd love for him to say, hey what are you doing on such a day, lets go somewhere. Instead its me making all the plans. Isn't it supposed to be the other way round? I know he initiates the contact but I don't really know how to feel about this.

if he's saying he wants to meet you alot but you plan the times you go out then that's just him letting you know he wants too so that you will plan something, maybe he doesn't know or is not bothered where you go so he waits for you to initiate whatever you want to do.

but you should tell me now that you would like him to ask you, make plans to go and do something, or you can subtly ask why don't you ever ask me to go out somewhere since your saying you do want too.

Always me planning dates with the guy ?

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you