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I think this 55/60 year old man is hitting on me... What do I do?

Okay so, I met this man when I was volunteering at a school. He was basically in charge of me. I've known him for about 3 years now.

He is no longer at the school and is currently working in France. He recently started messaging me frequently and because it was via whatsapp so he can see when I was last online, I responded. So the conservation basically went like this-

(Im the one with the darker shade, he is the lighter)

http://i61.tinypic.com/ehf879.png

Context for the next picture - he was asking me to change my display picture/send him some because apparently he has pictures of all his friends so I responded by saying "one day" because I thought it was an odd request and didn't want to. He also asked what I was doing, the minute I said "in bed" I literally wanted kicked myself for saying it and no, I didn't tell him what I was wearing in bed.
http://i61.tinypic.com/28k6ivc.png

Context for the next picture - He asked me what I was doing today and I told him I will be going to regents park.
http://i60.tinypic.com/a9ocgl.png
http://i59.tinypic.com/1zxxqi1.png
http://i57.tinypic.com/2199lhk.png

I had no idea what double brown meant but I searched it on urban dictionary after he said the last comment and its either a cheap beer or something to do with anal. I am thinking the latter..

So at this point I was pretty disgusted and creeped out so I started ignoring him. He then messages me like nothing has happened and this is basically what he said and how I responded-

http://i57.tinypic.com/10fu877.png
http://i57.tinypic.com/2gtyjjp.png

Now, I am thinking this excuse is a lie - "get your cuteness over here"?
What do you guys think? I feel like I should cut contact but now I am thinking what my reasons would be since he provided a "reason" for the cute ass comment.

Also, am I overreacting? My friend made a joke out of it and said tell him youre a lesbian and you have a Mexican girlfriend :o:$ I just feel really creeped out because he is older than my dad!!!!!!!!!!!

Lastly, I also want to point out that he was fired from the school (where we met) because he tried to flirt with another really young volunteer (she was 19 or 20) and he was INCREDIBLY inappropriate to her. He had previously mentioned that he likes young women and I had right then said that I would not consider anyone over 25 for a relationship to give him the hint. I am 20 btw.

What do I do? What do I say to him? Please help. I really just want to stop contact but I don't know what I should say. I am also not sure if I am just overreacting, so I basically want unbiased responses.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading all this.

Scroll to see replies

Reply 1
And yes, I probably should have said something earlier since I was feeling uncomfortable but I thought that not responding to any of his advancements would give him the hint. In hindsight, I should have just done something earlier :/
Block him/or change your contact information.
Reply 3
I think it is weird that a man that age is talking too you regardless. He isn't family or a friend, and he is no longer your boss. Even if he was, he shouldn't be talking too you in a none professional way. Get rid. Just block him.

What is he realistically going to do? Tell other people a young girl has stopped talking too him late at night?
Original post by Anonymous

Lastly, I also want to point out that he was fired from the school (where we met) because he tried to flirt with another really young volunteer (she was 19 or 20) and he was INCREDIBLY inappropriate to her. He had previously mentioned that he likes young women and I had right then said that I would not consider anyone over 25 for a relationship to give him the hint. I am 20 btw.


This guy is rapishly creepy. The fact that he's done it before does pretty much confirm he is coming on to you. I'd say either tell him flat out you're uncomfortable with the way he's talking to you and you should have brought it up earlier but were uncomfortable etc, or just block him outright.

He either doesn't realise how uncomfortable he makes you/the other volunteer feel or he is just a bit pervy and tries to prey on young women.
Reply 5
Original post by Southasian
Block him/or change your contact information.



Original post by Twinport53
I think it is weird that a man that age is talking too you regardless. He isn't family or a friend, and he is no longer your boss. Even if he was, he shouldn't be talking too you in a none professional way. Get rid. Just block him.

What is he realistically going to do? Tell other people a young girl has stopped talking too him late at night?


I was just googling how to block people on whatsapp because I am pretty clueless haha.

I actually want to write a really cold message because he was done this before to the other girl and I just want him to know what he is doing is pretty creepy, so that he thinks twice before doing it to another girl. Should I leave it and just block him directly?
Also, when I block someone, will they know I've blocked them? How does it work? :colondollar:
Reply 6
-"so do you wanna hook up if I pop back to the uk one weekend?"
Then asked what you were wearing...
Then went on the wrong side of the keyboard and typed "ass" and not, apparently, "ness". Then takes 8 hours to come up with an excuse

Lmao. Just block or ignore him, you're not going to see him again anyway....lol
Original post by Anonymous
I was just googling how to block people on whatsapp because I am pretty clueless haha.

I actually want to write a really cold message because he was done this before to the other girl and I just want him to know what he is doing is pretty creepy, so that he thinks twice before doing it to another girl. Should I leave it and just block him directly?
Also, when I block someone, will they know I've blocked them? How does it work? :colondollar:


Just block him

https://www.whatsapp.com/faq/en/general/21092978

When you block someone on WhatsApp, to them you appear offline from the moment you block them.
So after a week of you blocking them, they will see you last seen 7 days ago.
If they message you, it won't deliver to you and to them it will be seen as 'pending delivery' with one tick.
You cannot message them either unless you unblock them.

However, if you use other texting apps like SMS or other messengers, you both can text each other.
Remember, you block the WhatsApp contact, not the phone number completely.
Reply 8
Original post by InsertWittyName
This guy is rapishly creepy. The fact that he's done it before does pretty much confirm he is coming on to you. I'd say either tell him flat out you're uncomfortable with the way he's talking to you and you should have brought it up earlier but were uncomfortable etc, or just block him outright.

He either doesn't realise how uncomfortable he makes you/the other volunteer feel or he is just a bit pervy and tries to prey on young women.


Thank you. I think I will tell him he has made me feel uncomfortable and see what he says. Do you think it will be too far if I say its creepy/disgusting/he is older than my dad? I don't want to sound rude, but just extremely cold.
I will see how he responds and probably block him.

And yes, I really should have said something before it got to this. I want to kick myself.
Reply 9
Original post by Anonymous
I was just googling how to block people on whatsapp because I am pretty clueless haha.

I actually want to write a really cold message because he was done this before to the other girl and I just want him to know what he is doing is pretty creepy, so that he thinks twice before doing it to another girl. Should I leave it and just block him directly?
Also, when I block someone, will they know I've blocked them? How does it work? :colondollar:


You just click on the convo, tap the options button and press block. Yeah he will know haha, it will know longer show if you are online, and after a few hours your Picture will change too an empty white box. If he tries to message you it never sends :biggrin: Then you are free!
Original post by Southasian
Just block him

https://www.whatsapp.com/faq/en/general/21092978

When you block someone on WhatsApp, to them you appear offline from the moment you block them.
So after a week of you blocking them, they will see you last seen 7 days ago.
If they message you, it won't deliver to you and to them it will be seen as 'pending delivery' with one tick.
You cannot message them either unless you unblock them.

However, if you use other texting apps like SMS or other messengers, you both can text each other.
Remember, you block the WhatsApp contact, not the phone number completely.


Thank you :smile:
Original post by Anonymous
Okay so, I met this man when I was volunteering at a school. He was basically in charge of me. I've known him for about 3 years now.

He is no longer at the school and is currently working in France. He recently started messaging me frequently and because it was via whatsapp so he can see when I was last online, I responded. So the conservation basically went like this-

(Im the one with the darker shade, he is the lighter)

http://i61.tinypic.com/ehf879.png

Context for the next picture - he was asking me to change my display picture/send him some because apparently he has pictures of all his friends so I responded by saying "one day" because I thought it was an odd request and didn't want to. He also asked what I was doing, the minute I said "in bed" I literally wanted kicked myself for saying it and no, I didn't tell him what I was wearing in bed.
http://i61.tinypic.com/28k6ivc.png

Context for the next picture - He asked me what I was doing today and I told him I will be going to regents park.
http://i60.tinypic.com/a9ocgl.png
http://i59.tinypic.com/1zxxqi1.png
http://i57.tinypic.com/2199lhk.png

I had no idea what double brown meant but I searched it on urban dictionary after he said the last comment and its either a cheap beer or something to do with anal. I am thinking the latter..

So at this point I was pretty disgusted and creeped out so I started ignoring him. He then messages me like nothing has happened and this is basically what he said and how I responded-

http://i57.tinypic.com/10fu877.png
http://i57.tinypic.com/2gtyjjp.png

Now, I am thinking this excuse is a lie - "get your cuteness over here"?
What do you guys think? I feel like I should cut contact but now I am thinking what my reasons would be since he provided a "reason" for the cute ass comment.

Also, am I overreacting? My friend made a joke out of it and said tell him youre a lesbian and you have a Mexican girlfriend :o:$ I just feel really creeped out because he is older than my dad!!!!!!!!!!!

Lastly, I also want to point out that he was fired from the school (where we met) because he tried to flirt with another really young volunteer (she was 19 or 20) and he was INCREDIBLY inappropriate to her. He had previously mentioned that he likes young women and I had right then said that I would not consider anyone over 25 for a relationship to give him the hint. I am 20 btw.

What do I do? What do I say to him? Please help. I really just want to stop contact but I don't know what I should say. I am also not sure if I am just overreacting, so I basically want unbiased responses.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading all this.


Wow he comes off as very inappropriate. I would just block him tbh, maybe even change your number?
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you :smile:



Your welcome :wink:
Thanks everyone for your replies :smile: I really appreciate it!
Original post by Precious Illusions
Wow he comes off as very inappropriate. I would just block him tbh, maybe even change your number?


I think that's the last resort for me. I hope it doesn't come to that and he just lets it go tbh.



Also, I know that everyone is saying block him but I want to write a message first (I am not sure what I want to say though without sounding horrible) or do you think that's a bad idea/waste of time?
He sounds very inappropriate and creepy and desperate.

Tell him you're not interested.
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you. I think I will tell him he has made me feel uncomfortable and see what he says. Do you think it will be too far if I say its creepy/disgusting/he is older than my dad? I don't want to sound rude, but just extremely cold.
I will see how he responds and probably block him.

And yes, I really should have said something before it got to this. I want to kick myself.


Calling him creepy or disgusting is probably not the best way to handle it. Maybe he's just a lonely old guy who forgets he's not 19 anymore? I'd probably say that you should word it in the same way you think the school worded it when they fired him- throw in 'inappropriate' 'uncomfortable', 'age difference' in a few times and he'll probably get the idea. If you come off as firm and completely honest I doubt he'll bother you again, as opposed to coming off angry or emotional where he'll think he can make it up or change your mind.

And I don't think it's your fault, you were probably just trying to be friendly :h:
Original post by Anonymous
I think that's the last resort for me. I hope it doesn't come to that and he just lets it go tbh.

Also, I know that everyone is saying block him but I want to write a message first (I am not sure what I want to say though without sounding horrible) or do you think that's a bad idea/waste of time?


Yeah I know what you mean. Could just say you're really uncomfortable with his flirty comments and that you're really not interested in him in that way? I don't think that's horrible, it's best to be honest or he'll go on thinking he has a chance with you...best let him know he doesn't have a chance IMO.
Original post by Anonymous
Okay so, I met this man when I was volunteering at a school. He was basically in charge of me. I've known him for about 3 years now.

He is no longer at the school and is currently working in France. He recently started messaging me frequently and because it was via whatsapp so he can see when I was last online, I responded. So the conservation basically went like this-

(Im the one with the darker shade, he is the lighter)

http://i61.tinypic.com/ehf879.png

Context for the next picture - he was asking me to change my display picture/send him some because apparently he has pictures of all his friends so I responded by saying "one day" because I thought it was an odd request and didn't want to. He also asked what I was doing, the minute I said "in bed" I literally wanted kicked myself for saying it and no, I didn't tell him what I was wearing in bed.
http://i61.tinypic.com/28k6ivc.png

Context for the next picture - He asked me what I was doing today and I told him I will be going to regents park.
http://i60.tinypic.com/a9ocgl.png
http://i59.tinypic.com/1zxxqi1.png
http://i57.tinypic.com/2199lhk.png

I had no idea what double brown meant but I searched it on urban dictionary after he said the last comment and its either a cheap beer or something to do with anal. I am thinking the latter..

So at this point I was pretty disgusted and creeped out so I started ignoring him. He then messages me like nothing has happened and this is basically what he said and how I responded-

http://i57.tinypic.com/10fu877.png
http://i57.tinypic.com/2gtyjjp.png

Now, I am thinking this excuse is a lie - "get your cuteness over here"?
What do you guys think? I feel like I should cut contact but now I am thinking what my reasons would be since he provided a "reason" for the cute ass comment.

Also, am I overreacting? My friend made a joke out of it and said tell him youre a lesbian and you have a Mexican girlfriend :o:$ I just feel really creeped out because he is older than my dad!!!!!!!!!!!

Lastly, I also want to point out that he was fired from the school (where we met) because he tried to flirt with another really young volunteer (she was 19 or 20) and he was INCREDIBLY inappropriate to her. He had previously mentioned that he likes young women and I had right then said that I would not consider anyone over 25 for a relationship to give him the hint. I am 20 btw.

What do I do? What do I say to him? Please help. I really just want to stop contact but I don't know what I should say. I am also not sure if I am just overreacting, so I basically want unbiased responses.

Thank you.

Thanks for reading all this.


A staff of my previous school kept texting me after I moved away. Just keep away from them and don't reply them. It's the best advice.
Original post by InsertWittyName
Calling him creepy or disgusting is probably not the best way to handle it. Maybe he's just a lonely old guy who forgets he's not 19 anymore? I'd probably say that you should word it in the same way you think the school worded it when they fired him- throw in 'inappropriate' 'uncomfortable', 'age difference' in a few times and he'll probably get the idea. If you come off as firm and completely honest I doubt he'll bother you again, as opposed to coming off angry or emotional where he'll think he can make it up or change your mind.

And I don't think it's your fault, you were probably just trying to be friendly :h:



Original post by Precious Illusions
Yeah I know what you mean. Could just say you're really uncomfortable with his flirty comments and that you're really not interested in him in that way? I don't think that's horrible, it's best to be honest or he'll go on thinking he has a chance with you...best let him know he doesn't have a chance IMO.


Thank you. I took on board your tips and basically messaged him saying that "You might have made a typo on that but you've done this before and it makes me really uncomfortable, especially because of our age gap."
I quickly went off whatsapp because he came online right away and now he has replied saying "Oh I am sorry. Nothing would be further from my mind than to mak you feel uncomfortable or anyone else for that matter. Can you explain how and when I have made you uncomfortable previously. Not sure of why you talk about age."

He doesn't understand why I brought age up.... wow....

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