I'm 20 and have never seen a girl naked... Ask me Anything! (V2)

I can't just drop the awkwardness. It's been bedded in me for years and years. I don't know how to overcome it.

I don't know many girls. My social life is tiny. In school you can pretty much pick up any girl- there are girls everywhere. It changes when you start work. If you go round the office trying to pick up each girl you'll end up looking like a pervert or something.

Sucks to be you if that's true, but most people say it just to slap a label on their boringness and justify it. People would much rather say "I'm socially awkward" (ergo, it's not my fault), rather than "I'm a really dull person".

You learn by doing.

Start by not trying to get into the knickers of every girl you meet. That's unrealistic.

Start with very modest goals. Speaking one word to a girl. And start with an ugly one or a fat one, or you'll be way too obvious.

Then try a sentence. Then a conversation. Then move on to going to a gathering. Then you want to start having coffee/tea with workos with no intention of garnering sex. You basically want to get into the friendzone of a few women so that you're not "awkward" around them. You don't need to be able to talk to most women - you just need to give them the space to witter on for two hours about themselves and their friends' emotions or whatever.

Patience, patience. Once you're comfortable with that kind of intercourse, then you start meeting other ones in some other setting (knitting club or whatever) and you can prey on one who's socially awkward just like you were, or the weak, sick, lame, lazy or otherwise desperate.

You say it like finding girls to speak to is easy. I have such a tiny social life I don't meet new people. However I'm trying to change that too, planning on joining a sports club soon.

It is easy. You're probably just making it hard on yourself by only looking to the available or hot ones.

Being social isn't about talking to the gawjus ones. It's about talking to the ugs too, and the ones who are blatantly unavailable (old, married, gay). It doesn't have to be about trying to get intimate with them, it's about not being a complete jellyfish around them.

There must be women in your workplace - you got to talk to them and without ulterior motive, otherwise you're never going to be able to get anywhere.

Put it into context.

If you can't hold a meaningless conversation about a trivial, non-romantic matter (i.e. The weather in Glasgow during the Commonwealth Games) with a fat married woman; how on earth are you going to talk your way into the yoga pants of someone you really fancy?

Yeah there are women, but I struggle to start conversations with people in general (however as I say, I am improving). If I join this club then I would hope to speak to people there and make some friends. Even if that doesn't get me anywhere, it gets me some friends and helps me improve socially.

Not a bad plan, but it's not a silver bullet (just like so many nerds think university is basically a free brothel for geeks). Just start small, one conversation at a time, and I really advise you to start in the workplace.

Which sport, by the way?

Indoor rock climbing. It's tricky in the workplace as I am at a desk. And if I wondered over to someone to have a chat they'd think 1) Why did he pick me, 2) I'm trying to work here and 3) What does he want?.

When I was in secondary school people knew I'd never had a girlfriend and I was bullied every now and then about it. So I try and keep it quiet now. If people ask me about girlfriends I just give a short answer and change the conversation. If people ask me why I don't have a girlfriend I'll just say something like 'Just waiting for the right person' or 'Nah, who would want me? *laugh*'. I will not tell anyone I haven't had sex or anything either. People shouldn't be bothered but unfortunately it makes you look like an outcast and it's any easy target for 'banter'. That's kind of why I am trying to improve myself in the aim of getting a girlfriend. I'm fed up with feeling like the odd one out.

Rock climbing? Seriously? It's going to be all blokes with big arms and girls who are only there to please their boyfriends.

You need to start a sport with loads of girls in it. Hockey is the obvious one.

As for talking to the people at the office - if it's one of those where you don't have contact with the others, you'll just have to dishonestly invent an icebreaker. Bake something and share it (no matter how bad) and get some talk going about how bad it really is.

Have you had sex?

How often do you go out or find yourself in social situations where there be bitсhes about? I have a feeling it's more because you have a lack of opportunities due to not saying 'yes' to enough things. Put yourself out there. You at least have friends right?

Unlucky, son.

Rock climbing? Seriously? It's going to be all blokes with big arms and girls who are only there to please their boyfriends.

It really isn't. Sure more guys do probably climb but there are lot of women as well. Whenever I am at a climbing wall or a crag there is a sizable chunk of women.

Plus this will help with him feeling boring. Will give him something interesting to talk about. If someone asks him what his hobbies are saying 'rock climbing' is an easy way to sound more interesting. Plus if he gets good enough it is something that he could invite a girl to do as well. Plus it's fun...

Do you think you're alone on this forum?

I'm happy to know you don't have to go back to secondary school and deal with the bullying again.
Best of luck finding a girlfriend <3 Just be yourself and things should go smoothly from there.

Thanks. I think if I was myself I wouldn't get anywhere. I'm trying to follow the 'fake it till you make it' idea for confidence.

How do your friends react? or do they not know?
Just curious, you're probably one of the few guys out there who have never seen a real naked girl.

I highly doubt that's true.

I'm sure there are more people than you'd realise, who are 20+ and never had any sort of sexual contact with the opposite sex.

why is it so hard to get a girlfriend?

thats one thing i never understand, there's so much supply for the demand out there. i was the last of my friends to get a gf (16), when i decided i wanted one i got one in like a week. got laid a little after that with another girl (which couldve been a threesome unfortunately). im just saying, girls are so easy to catch. why is there so much anxiety for some people when it comes to them?