I am so sad about being in the friend zone

Better start day gaming and lifting then, srs. All i have done this past summer was lift and day game, planning to stay on regime for life.

Never understood the obsession with lifting....if you are good looking that will not be an issue

does lifting change you mentally?

Hey, would really appreciate some advice on this issue. It's been bugging me and I need to talk about it.

Okay so basically me and this girl (friend at the time) started to get close last year and I really thought things were progressing towards a relationship. Although nothing happened between us except for a kiss at one stage, I started inviting her round to my place and we'd spend lots of time together. I gave her lots of signs that I was into her, flirting-wise etc. and lots of my mates thought we would get together.

Turns out she rejected me a few months later saying she wasn't interested in me like that. I was a bit gutted at the time but accepted her decision. 6 months later I find out she was seeing/sleeping with this other guy on my course the whole time we spent together. I know she was still single at the time and free to do what she wanted, but as one of her friends, I cannot help but feel disappointed she never mentioned seeing another guy. I would never have asked her out in the first place or got so emotionally involved had I known.

Thoughts? I really want to move on and just forget about her but even this is proving hard. Am disillusioned with life atm and feel like I'm not good enough for anyone.

Hey there,

I bet you feel pretty bummed about this - not only because it didn't work out but because she was seeing someone else at the same time. You probably feel quite betrayed and like you've exposed your emotions in a really vulnerable way, only to feel used afterwards. I know how that feels. But I've made that mistake myself so I see her point of view as well (although I'm not saying what she did isn't wrong).

I don't think she necessarily should have mentioned the other guy - after all that is her private life. But she shouldn't have engaged with you in such a way that you thought it was going somewhere romantically significant. Maybe she was too afraid to tell you she wasn't interested. Maybe she regretted the kiss and put it down to a moment of recklessness. Maybe she wasn't sure and the kiss confirmed it. It's hard to tell really. These things happen. It's the reality of dating. It'll hurt now but you'll put it down to experience eventually.

You'll be okay though. Eventually you'll see it all in perspective. Just think it was never going to work anyway. There are better women out there for you - you just need to find them. You showed your vulnerability and ended up getting hurt - and while that'll help with some people, don't let that change you too much. If you're vulnerable with the right person, it builds a good connection.

Try not to engage with her too much. It sounds harsh but I simply can't be friends with someone where either one of us has a romantic interest. It just becomes too painful. Obviously you can stay civil and say hello in passing and that sort of thing.