Was I bullied in University?

So I moved to a different city to complete my third year and, because I was new to the area, I lived in halls of residence. My halls were several blocks of apartments with 4-6 students per apartment, most of which were first year freshers. I soon befriended many other students including my flatmates and coursemates but particularly bonded with the people from the apartment above me. All was great for about the first month there.

One guy from the apartment above who I was initially friends with started to act arrogant towards me. It was small at first and I took it as banter. He would mock me for the course I was studying, my accent, the music I liked and where I came from. One day at the SU bar he accused me of flirting with somebody he liked, and to avoid confrontation, I left. Later he confronted me and we had a big argument but avoided a physical altercation.

Since then, the people in the apartment above me avoided me. They would no longer talk to me or only talked to me when he wasn't about. He would play loud music late at night and stomp on the floor (he was in the room above me) and he would occasionally send me single word abusive name-calling messages over facebook until I blocked him, then he would do it via other people's accounts. I avoided going to the local SU bar that I knew him and my former friends hung out at. If I was walking to campus from my halls and I saw him, I would change direction or go in a shop. I knew he wasn't going to do anything physically but I couldn't be bothered with any harassment regardless.

I didn't tell the security at my halls as I was embarassed and didn't think they would take an adult bullied man seriously. bullying only happens in school playgrounds right? I have never been bullied before or since my stint at that university.

Luckily I got on very well with my flatmates (who also hated his loud music every night!) and my coursemates (who were also third years and far more mature than the freshers I lived around). During my nights off I would frequently visit my coursemates at their respective homes, partly to bond and partly to avoid my pathetic former friends boozing down the SU every night. I have since graduated and moved away.

I am curious. Does bullying happen at university and was my case bullying or just harassment? Has anyone else also been "bullied" at university?

Reply 1

IanDangerously

Yes, bullying can happen in just about every environment at any age and what you've described is a classic case of bullying. It's not just something which is confined to the playground, in fact bullying in the workplace is a major issue which we have to plan for now. All you can do is learn from the experience and make sure that if you encounter such behaviour again in the future anywhere, you tackle it head on from the start to save you the grief of having to live with it.

Reply 2

Made in Tyrone

Usually bullies are either jealous of you, and what you've achieved in your life, or they've been bullied before - at school probably - and find it makes them feel better if they bully others.

I was bullied for the first 4-5 months of Uni last year ... I suffered GBH from my neighbour just before Christmas, and had to move out.

The best you can do now is ignore this prick, because the more you let him the more you'll get hurt.

Also, I would deeply recommend that you complain about it to your Uni.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

Original post by Made in Tyrone

Made in Tyrone, I really hope your problem was resolved and you managed to escape that situation. I was lucky, I didn't have any physical altercation with this guy but only because on the night of the big argument somebody interrupted us. He made threats to me over facebook and spread a rumour across the halls that I was a desperate virgin looking for a girlfriend.

I believe it was due to jealousy. I could tell he grew up in a rough area and was a "former chav". His life revolved around dubstep, raves, beer and football. I am well travelled, fluent in 2 languages and was lucky enough to come from a decent area. He was physically skinnier and uglier than me but he was quickwitted, outspoken and confident and his retorts would shoot down anything I said (English isn't my first language!). The funniest thing is that when I was alone with people from my former "clique" in the apartment above, they would all bitch about him, but when he was around they acted like best of friends! I think they all sort of disliked him but didn't want to get on his wrong side. I pitied them.

I blocked him over facebook and have since graduated from university and moved back to Italy (where I am originally from but raised in England since childhood). I havn't heard from that guy or any of my former clique since graduation. It certainly was strange as I have never been bullied before or since then! :biggrin: