My family want me to get married instead of letting me focus on my academics.

'want to become professor or something?'

'girls are not accounted for school, they're only good and useful for marriage and cleaning'

I hate marriage, family & kids, I just don't believe in it, not needed in my life.

They also tell me off from not talking to people, but guess what?
I'm an introvert and I keep social interactions to a minimum.

Advice please?

Getting a Worthwhile Career
I need x GCSEs in subject1, subject2, subject 3 and y more.
I need x A Levels in subject1, subject2 ...
I need to find out which universities are best for these subjects: subject1, subject2, ...
Find out if I need a Masters Degree
Find out what careers options there are in subject1, subject2 ...
Find out what volunteering options I could start doing at 16 that would help my studies.

Thinking of leaving home at 18.

Just say "Yes. Do you intend to help me or hinder me?". Or say you'd like to turn out like Ada Lovelace, Marie Curie, or Grace Hopper. Hugely, HUGELY, influential geeks and amongst my heroes and role models.



Of course not. That's why there's no women working as teachers. And being a Head of State and Head of the Commonwealth is dead easy I'm sure. Although Queen Elizabeth's daughter is a force to be reckoned with too.


A valid feeling at 14. When you are 34 you may feel differently. So you need something to do for the next 20 years to keep you busy - how about an education and a career. THEN worry about marriage, family and kids.

Many, many women are doing just that.

Like the Asian women in this news story. They're ROCKET SCIENTISTS!!! Or how about an Asian brain surgeon? Not useful? Pah!


Sounds like you need to be going to conferences and lectures and other environments where you need to interact with other people. Who knows, keep going to such events and you "might meet a nice boy and settle down". Or not!



Be yourself and be successful and happy. Or be oppressed, miserable and bitter for the rest of your life. But you already knew that.

Can you play the race card? "Many Asian women are getting jobs in politics, medicine and science. Why can't I be like them? Why must you make me continue a stereotype that white people despise?"

Can you play the immigration card? "Why did you/your parents come here if it was not to give your children a chance in life? If you just wanted me to live on state handouts, why didn't you just leave me in an orphanage?"

Overwhelm their arguments by making a plan and putting it up on a noticeboard in your room:


If you actually do start work on that plan now, you will be amazed how many teachers and others will help you make it happen.

Look at the National Careers Service for ideas for the sort of thing you might want to do in life. The decisions you make in the next 3 years will help make your dreams come true so much more quickly.

That's why universities have halls of residence; it is recognised many young people need to get away from the home environment to flourish.

I truly appreciate your response!

I don't know how to express my feelings of appreciation to you... well.. hi?